A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."
When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor.
"No, from skipping," replied the blonde.
A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's a 'peel and win' sticker on her coffee cup.
So she peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!"
The waitress says, 'That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free Lunch.?'
But the blonde keeps on screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!'
Finally, the manager comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome because we didn't have that as a prize."
The blonde says, "No, it's not a mistake. I've won a motorhome!"
And she hands the ticket to the manager and HE reads....
I am concerned for the security of our great Nation; not so much because of any threat from without, but because of the insidious forces working from within. Douglas MacArthur
Last edited by RegalCharm; 03-01-2009 at 08:37 AM.
Reason: added another joke