Don't Trust Old Geezers. - The Horse Forum

 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 10 Old 02-08-2009, 08:36 AM Thread Starter
Trained
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,341
• Horses: 0
Talking Don't Trust Old Geezers.

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration? '

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.


The auditor's jaw drops.


Grand pa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.'

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks. 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it.'

I am concerned for the security of our great Nation; not so much because of any threat from without, but because of the insidious forces working from within. Douglas MacArthur
RegalCharm is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 10 Old 02-08-2009, 10:34 PM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Stroudsburg, PA
Posts: 785
• Horses: 3
ahahaha!!!!!

Bailey's Mountain
6 year old tb
english_rider144 is offline  
post #3 of 10 Old 02-08-2009, 10:39 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 403
• Horses: 0
That was good!


Picture Perfect is offline  
post #4 of 10 Old 02-09-2009, 12:41 AM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 397
• Horses: 2
noice one lolz
CessBee is offline  
post #5 of 10 Old 02-09-2009, 12:51 AM
Trained
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Missoula, MT
Posts: 6,594
• Horses: 1
ahhahahah love it
Spastic_Dove is offline  
post #6 of 10 Old 02-09-2009, 02:32 PM
Started
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 2,032
• Horses: 3
LOL... thanks for sharing!!!


It's not the will to win, but the will to prepare to win that makes the difference.
- Paul "Bear" Bryant (Former college football coach)
Angel_Leaguer is offline  
post #7 of 10 Old 02-10-2009, 01:28 AM
Chat Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: western Kentucky
Posts: 3,744
• Horses: 2
too true, I knew several old men like that, God how I miss them. If you ever got one pasted them you earned it.

A good cowboy always has a better horse at the end of the ride, a poor cowboy will be afoot reguardless of the horse.

Mis Raices Estan Aqui (my roots are buried here)
Kentucky is offline  
post #8 of 10 Old 02-10-2009, 02:04 AM
Foal
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: minnesota
Posts: 14
• Horses: 6
rolling on the floor with that one! Lol

love mustangs, but little yard? come see the mini Mustangs! woot!
lilmtmustangs is offline  
post #9 of 10 Old 02-10-2009, 08:21 AM Thread Starter
Trained
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,341
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kentucky View Post
too true, I knew several old men like that, God how I miss them. If you ever got one pasted them you earned it.


And they taught you some very good outlooks on life

I am concerned for the security of our great Nation; not so much because of any threat from without, but because of the insidious forces working from within. Douglas MacArthur
RegalCharm is offline  
post #10 of 10 Old 02-10-2009, 09:43 AM
Chat Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: western Kentucky
Posts: 3,744
• Horses: 2
yes sir, they did. I just didn't know it at the time.

A good cowboy always has a better horse at the end of the ride, a poor cowboy will be afoot reguardless of the horse.

Mis Raices Estan Aqui (my roots are buried here)

Last edited by Kentucky; 02-10-2009 at 09:46 AM.
Kentucky is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.



User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Wow . . .trust and skill! crackrider Horse Videos 14 11-11-2008 08:53 PM
testing trust? chasin the dream Horse Training 7 10-15-2008 08:01 PM
A horse's trust... melinda27858 Horse Talk 4 03-26-2008 10:11 AM
Do YOU trust StateLine? BluMagic Horse Talk 6 03-14-2008 09:26 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome