Favorite jokes?

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Favorite jokes?

This is a discussion on Favorite jokes? within the Jokes and Funnies forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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    01-13-2010, 04:07 AM
Favorite jokes?

What are yours?

Here's one of my favorites...although it may seem a bit cruel.

A guy was driving his car down a county road and it suddenly quit, so he walked to a local farm. He asked the dude at the farm if there was a horse or donkey he could ride in to the nearest town. The dude says 'sure, but this is a religious donkey. To get him to go you say "praise the Lord," and to get him to stop say "amen!"' so the guy says alright, takes the donkey and leaves. He rides for a few hours and ends up falling asleep. The guy wakes up a while later and the donkey is heading for a cliff in a few yards, so he starts saying 'amen, amen, amen!' the donkey stops, the guy breathes a sigh of relief and says 'praise the Lord!' and they both go off the cliff.

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    01-13-2010, 08:11 AM
Lol, woops O.O
    01-20-2010, 12:54 AM
Green Broke
Mine is really dumb and immature but it makes me smile everytime.

There are 4 cows in a feild. A momma cow and 3 baby calves. The 1st baby (Rose) asked " Momma how did I get my name?" The momma replies " because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head." The 2nd baby (sunflower) asks " momma how did I get my name?" The momma cow replies " Because when you were born a sunflower petal fell on your head." The 3rd baby says "jeuriglaqwkgflwekagpzoWy8d9p124tfgiukcslxS!!! " Momma says " SHUT UP CINDERBLOCK!"
    01-20-2010, 01:45 AM
I don't care how lame or old this is, its hilarious to me. I'm doing that when I'm old
    01-23-2010, 12:14 AM
Green Broke
Ahahaha omg!!!! To funny lmao!!
    02-14-2010, 02:12 AM
Green Broke
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving to check out a good prospect, the brunette tells her sister, 'Now, when I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.

After paying him the $599 asking price, she driv es to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds,'It's just 99 cents a word.'

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette has only $1 left, meaning she'll only be able to send her sister a one-word message. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, 'I want you to send her the word...'comfortable'.'

The telegraph operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word,'comfortable'?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's a blonde . The word is big and she will read it slowly...out loud... ('com-for-da-bul').'

this is great

The Mental Hospital
> I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the
Patients were shouting, '13...13....13...13.'
> The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the
Planks and looked through to see what was going on.
> Some ******* poked me in the eye with a stick.
> Then they all started shouting. '14...14...14...14.....'


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