Found some REALLY FUNNY short-story thingies! MUST READ!

Oh my frackin god these are hilarious!! Post more!!! I just got in my daily laughter! :)

"Today, I was at work. I picked up my bottle of chocolate milk and gave it a little shake like I normally do. This resulted in me throwing off the loose lid and covering myself, my computer, the desk, paperwork, the printer, the wall, and my co-workers desk in brown milk. FML"

That happened to me with regular milk years ago. I just took a carton, thought it was unopened and shaked firmly. Well, it wasn't, and if my memory serves me, also the ceiling of our kitchen was milky after that. Poor mommy who had to clean after me.

Today, I walked out of my kitchen and saw somebody standing at the front door staring in. I stopped dead and started to freak out. I then realized it was my reflection. MLIA




HAHAA I found this one on MLIA

My cat is getting very old, and hates using her litter box. Today, I opened my microwave to see that she had pooped in there. I have so many questions. MLIA

Today I was hanging out with my 3-month old nephew. He had a shirt on that said "Hunk." Since he's a fat baby, I added a C and a Y with tape so it said "Chunky" and then gave him a bottle. We're going to be friends when he can talk. MLIA.

Today, my 5 year old cousin told me that mustard makes his brain angry. MLIA

Today my year decided the theme for our swimming carnival was to be 'Legends of the Sea". While most people plan to dress as sexy mermaids or pirates my best friend and I spent the whole night making Bruce and Dory Finding Nemo costumes out of styrofoam and speaking in whale. MLIA.

Today I was sitting at the lunch table when this Indian guy Josh sat in the only seat left. That's when Chad (white guy) came over and said "Hey , you took my seat." Josh said "You took my land." Touche. MLIA

Today my dad gave me some cash and a list of things for me to get for my mom for their anniversary, so she wouldn't find out what her presents were ahead of time. The list comprised of chocolates, and a coloring book. I knew I wasn't adopted. MLIA

Yesterday the James Bond theme song came on in the convienience store I was in, I proceeded to creep through the empty aisle I was in, like a secret agent. As I was about to stealthily turn the corner I ran into my 38 year old teacher. He was doing the same thing. We froze, looked at each other, and he proceeded to introduce himself as "Bond. James Bond", and then secret agented his way down the next aisle as if nothing had happened. Coolest teacher ever? I think so.

Today at work, I had to use the bathroom. When I walked in there was only one other girl in there, and since I feel awkward peeing with only one other person in the room (I feel like they're listening to me), I sat down and waited for her to leave. Only she apparently had the same idea. Gotta say, most awkward ten minutes ever.