Horse Joke Thread-Share yours!
   

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Horse Joke Thread-Share yours!

This is a discussion on Horse Joke Thread-Share yours! within the Jokes and Funnies forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category
  • Funny dressage jokes
  • Funny horse quotes

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  • 2 Post By SouthernTrails
  • 5 Post By JustWingIt
  • 1 Post By Golden Horse
  • 2 Post By EvilHorseOfDoom
  • 1 Post By Tobysthebesthorseever
  • 2 Post By phoquess

 
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    05-07-2013, 11:03 PM
  #1
Yearling
Horse Joke Thread-Share yours!

My friend wants to post a riddle on here. Now it is her typing-not me.

So, a horse was Suspicious of his owner's wear abouts so he decided to get a tracking device to put on his owner. He somehow got a tracking device into his owner's underwear. The horse tracked his owner on his computer that he somehow acquired for a whole week and nothing happened. The horse decided to run away and was never seen again. Can you guess why?!?!


(The answer she tells me is that the owner wore the same underwear for a whole week and the horse ran away because he thought it was gross.)

Now for yours!!


(Sorry about that. She's a bit younger than me haha she says noooo don't! So just kidding. She pretty cool.)
     
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    06-15-2013, 03:23 PM
  #2
Super Moderator
Well...

Girl arrives at her weekly lesson and gets the most wildest horse to ride. Before going to the trail ride lesson, the instructor asks if everyone has whips and helmets with them. Being annoyed for the wild horse, the girl mutters quietly that she has had to lose her mind while coming here today. Instructor, hearing this, says that she's interested just about things that riders had with them while arriving at the lesson.

...

A young lady is talking about experiences that she had while being at circus yesterday. The lady says:
'Riders were the most amazing thing there. You see, at first they rode the horses normally. After this, under stomaches they went. Finally, they ended the show hanging on the tails.
Other young lady will interfere in the discussion:
'Nah, that's nothing. I rode like that on my very 1st lesson'.

...

Judge on the court:
'Your husband blames you on kicking him at first, then biting him'.
Wife: 'well, he treats me like a horse!'
     
    06-15-2013, 03:54 PM
  #3
Super Moderator
.

A lady who was all ready to take a horseback ride said to the cowboy, "Can you get me a nice gentle pony?" "Shore," said the cowboy. "What kind of a saddle do you want, English or western?" "What's the difference?" asked the lady. "The western saddle has a horn on it," said the cowboy. The lady said "If the traffic is so thick here in the mountains that I need a horn on my saddle, I don't believe I want to ride."


.
     
    06-15-2013, 04:37 PM
  #4
Weanling
Two horses are staing at a hitching post. One horse turns to the other and says "my name is Whoa Dammit, what's yours?"
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    06-18-2013, 01:02 PM
  #5
Trained
Guess I'll add this one here, for those of us whose minds go blank when we ride into the dressage arena:



And some kiddy jokes for you

Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?
A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck.

Q.What is the difference between a horse and a duck?
A.One goes quick and the other goes quack!

Q. What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A. A little hoarse.

Q. What's a horse's favorite sport?
A. Stable tennis.

Q. What do you give a sick horse?
A: Cough stirrup.

Q. Why do cowboys ride horses?
A. Because they're too heavy to carry!

Q. What did the horse say when it fell?
A. "I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"

Q. What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A. A neigh-bour.

Q. Where do horses go when they're sick?
A. The horsepital.

Q. Why did the horse eat with its mouth open?
A. Because it had bad stable manners.
Chokolate likes this.
     
    06-28-2013, 09:42 AM
  #6
Started
Not a typical riddle joke, but just found this anonymous quote and nearly died laughing:

Quote:
A woman needs two animals - the horse of her dreams and a jackass to pay for it.
waresbear and xlionesss like this.
     
    06-29-2013, 04:02 PM
  #7
Yearling
LOL!!! Hahaha some of these are just absolutely awesome!
     
    06-29-2013, 04:05 PM
  #8
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilHorseOfDoom    
Not a typical riddle joke, but just found this anonymous quote and nearly died laughing:


Definitely my favorite! Gotta tell this to my boyfriend LOL
     
    06-29-2013, 04:15 PM
  #9
Yearling




Oh gawsh! Not the bedazzler!!! I'm pretty sure Toby will be like that soon...
waresbear likes this.
     
    07-14-2013, 10:30 PM
  #10
Foal
     

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