How many horse people does it take - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 19 Old 03-20-2011, 03:44 PM Thread Starter
Yearling
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,138
• Horses: 1
Talking How many horse people does it take

to change a lightbulb?

Western pleasure rider:
Oh, my God, someone fix that bulb. I have to have light so that my silver and spangles all glow to their best and so that all the highlighter on Old Peanut Head makes his nose look so smooth and sparkly, and oh my diamonds studs have to flash in the light, you know, so oh, someone has to fix it. Oh, maybe you without all the silver on your saddle, obviously can't ride, you can do it.

Endurance rider:
Light bulb? Do you mind, I'm trying to get my horse's pulse/respiration/hydration levels down to respectable levels. Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a light bulb.

Dressage Queen:
Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn't possible be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh, and wash you hands when you are finished. The very thought!

Classical Dressage Queen:
These things cannot be rushed, but must be approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever just be a shadow of its true self. Never, ever, use any type of gadget when changing the light bulb. That is an offense to the principles of classical light bulb changing.

Eventers:
Wuss! As soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after falling off at that large stone wall while riding Hell Bent for Leather cross-country, I'll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It'll put hair on your chest. Only dressage riders require lights, anyway!

Show jumpers:
Why on Earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my butt. Why, when I release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded.

Natural horseman:
You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using "light bulb dynamics' (video set available at $179.00 on my website). Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using patented "light bulb coaxer" designed by me--$99.00 each, (for extra $49.99 you get an introductory video thrown in) will behave as all good light bulbs should.

Hunter jumper:
Well, I'm waiting for my trainer to tell me exactly how but he's changing light bulbs somewhere else right now.

Backyard horseman:
Do I have to do everything??!! Oh, yeah, I do, don't I? I'll get to it as soon as I'm done mucking stalls, cleaning and filling the tub, cleaning and filling the water buckets, stacking my hay, setting up for night feeding, cleaning my tack, picking out manure from the paddock, brushing and exercising horses, and whatever else needs to be done.

Author Unknown


I thought this was hilarious, tell me what you think!
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You are never better than anyone. Every rider has skills they need to improve. The only one you must compare yourself with, is you.
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post #2 of 19 Old 03-20-2011, 03:44 PM Thread Starter
Yearling
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,138
• Horses: 1
oh and please don't take this too seriously, some of my friends got offended

I'm most like the Natural/Backyard Horsman

You are never better than anyone. Every rider has skills they need to improve. The only one you must compare yourself with, is you.

Last edited by SMCLeenie; 03-20-2011 at 03:48 PM.
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post #3 of 19 Old 03-23-2011, 01:47 AM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Northern California
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Hahahaha!
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post #4 of 19 Old 03-25-2011, 04:34 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Slovenia
Posts: 684
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That's hilarious! Hahaha xD

It's RAINING!

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post #5 of 19 Old 03-25-2011, 04:37 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Fayetteville, Arkansas
Posts: 698
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Love it

Help me horse forum! You're my only hope!
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post #6 of 19 Old 03-25-2011, 04:54 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 573
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love it!
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post #7 of 19 Old 03-26-2011, 03:34 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Maryland
Posts: 683
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hahaha that's really clever

There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. ~Winston Churchill
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post #8 of 19 Old 03-27-2011, 11:16 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 276
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I love that one. Just not sure out of them where'd I fit, done western, eventing, now hunter/jumper. Never had the opportunity to be a backyard horsemen.

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post #9 of 19 Old 03-28-2011, 12:06 AM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 432
• Horses: 3
Funneeeee!

Backyard Horseman: 'Does it endanger the horse? It can wait. Ya know what, as a matter of fact I was going to build a new barn anyway...'

He knows when you're happy
He knows when you're comfortable
He knows when you're confident
And he always knows when you have carrots.
~Author Unknown~
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post #10 of 19 Old 04-01-2011, 03:02 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Newfoundland/Nova Scotia
Posts: 264
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Right now, I'm in the hunter jumper boat haha

A pony is a childhood dream, a horse is an adulthood treasure.
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