I needed a bowl of cereal..

I beat a porn star because hoes keep stealing my tacos.

I don't play no games.
Posted via Mobile Device

I cuddled with your grandma because I have AMAZING BOOBS!

I do have amazing boobs, thank you, but I'm not sure why I'd cuddle with your grandma because of them.

I banged a golf ball because I'm good in bed. Hahaha
Posted via Mobile Device

I stabbed the cookie monster because I have a noodle in my nose...

I needed an easter egg because I'm sexy like that. XD

Oh my

I ran naked with a golf ball because I have double D's... Which is technically a lie... hehe

I laughed so hard at these I may have peed my pants a little!!!

I needed the cookie monster because I smoked crack because I had to!
Posted via Mobile Device

I stabbed your grandma because hoes keep stealing my tacos.

Wow I'm a violent person.

I needed some crack heads because I smoked crack
Posted via Mobile Device

I stabbed an easter egg because I love marijuana.. o.O LOL