If horses were software
 
 

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If horses were software

This is a discussion on If horses were software within the Jokes and Funnies forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

     
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        11-22-2007, 04:21 AM
      #1
    Foal
    If horses were software

    It is not the best joke in the world but it put I smile on my face so I thought I would share it.

    Dear Tech Support,

    Recently I purchased and installed Horse 1.0. I soon noticed that this program appears to have numerous glitches. For instance, every time my computer boots up, I have to run Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1. Many times I've been in the middle of writing an important document, and a window will flash telling me to run Clean Stall 2.0. This program also contained applications I did not wish to install, such as Manure 8.5, however they auto-installed with Horse 1.0. Applications such as Vacation 2.7 and Free Time 10.1 can no longer run, crashing whenever selected. Possibly the worst is that Horse 1.0 has attached itself to programs like Finance Manager and MS Money, with folders added such as "Monthly Shoeing" and "Winter Blanket". Periodically, I'll get a reminder telling me to send a check to the manufacturer of Horse 1.0 for the aforementioned items. I have tried to uninstall Horse 1.0 numerous times, but when I try to run the uninstall program, I get warning messages telling me that a deadly virus known as "Withdrawal" will infect my system. Please Help!!!!!

    THE REPLY:

    Dear User,

    Your complaint is not unusual. A common misconception among users is that Horse 1.0 is a mere "utilities and entertainment program." It is not - it is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its' creator to run everything! A warning will soon be imprinted on the box. Since you have already installed Horse 1.0, here are a few tips on how to make it run better. If you are annoyed by the applications Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1, you may run C: \HIRE HELP, however this will cause another folder to be added to financial applications, labeled "Staff". Failure to send payment to "Staff" will result in Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1 being run again on startup. A note of caution: NOT booting up your computer for several days isn't the solution to avoiding Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1. You will find that, when you boot up your computer again, a nasty virus called "Colic 4.2" will have attached itself to important documents and the only way to rid your computer of Colic 4.2 is by purchasing and installing "Vet 10.1", which we admit is extremely expensive, but crucial. Otherwise, Colic 4.2 will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Finally, it is important that you run C:\Carrots and C:\Scratch Ears on a fairly regular basis to keep the application running smoothly. If you have any more questions, please call our toll free number.

    Sincerely, Tech Support
         
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        11-24-2007, 05:13 AM
      #2
    Foal
    Beware of the expansion pack `Standardbred 1.2`,this will have necessities like `Nifty Harness 500+`,`Racing Sulky 2007` and `Vitamins & Supplements 4ever`.However it has the benefits of `Bombproof 10` and 24 hour on call horse hugs. .There are also such possible features as `Racewin`,though this has a lengthy and very costly installation process and sometimes will not load at all.Fortunatlly expansion pack can be just right on it`s own.
         

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