Murder at WalMart - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 13 Old 02-01-2009, 07:50 PM Thread Starter
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Murder at WalMart

Please don't kill the messanger but the story reads as follows..............


Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'


Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husb and said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor........

The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husb and who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...




(You're going to hate me for this ... )














'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00
AT WAL-MART!'







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post #2 of 13 Old 02-01-2009, 08:23 PM
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LMAO =] lol
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post #3 of 13 Old 02-01-2009, 10:57 PM
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OH MY GOODNESS. That is just too funny. I love watching Jay Leno's Headlines and that one definitely belongs on there.

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post #4 of 13 Old 02-03-2009, 10:33 AM
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LOL, that would be one where the Leno audience would go GROAN... lol

It is cute though

I am concerned for the security of our great Nation; not so much because of any threat from without, but because of the insidious forces working from within. Douglas MacArthur
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post #5 of 13 Old 02-05-2009, 03:55 AM
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Oh that's a shocker!!!

The Orbs: The Dark Assassin. Read and comment or I eat your nose....just kidding.....sorta....not really......
[http://www.horseforum.com/hobbies/or...58/#post747263
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post #6 of 13 Old 02-05-2009, 06:51 AM
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That's awful - but I'll retell it anyway!

I'm not arguing with you, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


It's not always what you say but what they hear.
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post #7 of 13 Old 02-05-2009, 02:52 PM
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Hilarious!

Last edited by Chocolate; 02-05-2009 at 02:54 PM. Reason: reworded
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post #8 of 13 Old 02-05-2009, 05:07 PM
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that's great!!!!
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post #9 of 13 Old 05-28-2009, 10:32 PM
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post #10 of 13 Old 05-28-2009, 10:39 PM
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hahahaha that's too funny!
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