Really lame horse jokes - The Horse Forum

 146Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 44 Old 06-25-2014, 07:37 PM Thread Starter
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,212
• Horses: 4
Really lame horse jokes

Haha.

OK, I'll start: Two thoroughbreds were discussing their new jockey. One said, "He can't really ride, you know." The other replied, "No, but he flies so beautifully!"
SueC is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 44 Old 06-26-2014, 07:13 PM
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 3,015
• Horses: 3
Quote:
Originally Posted by SueC View Post
Haha.

OK, I'll start: Two thoroughbreds were discussing their new jockey. One said, "He can't really ride, you know." The other replied, "No, but he flies so beautifully!"
Ha Ha! That was both funny and lame! :)
Northernstar is offline  
post #3 of 44 Old 06-26-2014, 07:23 PM Thread Starter
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,212
• Horses: 4
I like the one about the man who was driving in the American desert. His car broke down miles from anywhere, and he tried desperately to work out what was wrong, to no avail, when a black horse galloped right up to his car, came to a screeching stop, looked under the bonnet and said, "It's your distributor!" before running off again.

Sure enough, the horse was right, and the man fixed up the problem and drove off. He stopped at the first little desert town and went into a bar, where he ordered a beer and told everyone his amazing experience. The barman asked him, "What colour was the horse?" Surprised, the driver replied, "Black." The barman said, "You were so lucky. There's a palomino out there who knows nothing about cars."
SueC is offline  
post #4 of 44 Old 06-26-2014, 11:45 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 212
• Horses: 1
Haha! What about a man rode into town on Friday stayed three days, then left on Friday. How did he do it? The horses name was Friday - I think everybody has heard that one

"A horse gallops with his lungs, preserves with his heart, and wins with his character."
Spiritandjuniper4711 is offline  
post #5 of 44 Old 06-26-2014, 11:53 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 73
• Horses: 0
And here I thought this thread was about making jokes about lame horses. Is that lame enough?
Altalefty is offline  
post #6 of 44 Old 06-27-2014, 12:29 AM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 326
• Horses: 1
What do you ask a sad horse? Why the long face?
Northernstar and SueC like this.

To ride or not to ride.....What a silly question!
Emma2003 is offline  
post #7 of 44 Old 06-27-2014, 12:43 AM
Trained
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 5,321
• Horses: 1
How do you make a small fortune in the horse industry?

Start with a large one

* I'm often reading and posting from mobile and Siri loves to make a mockery of the English language.
DancingArabian is offline  
post #8 of 44 Old 06-27-2014, 12:56 AM Thread Starter
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,212
• Horses: 4
Heehee DA, very true. There are bumper stickers in Western Australia that say, "Poverty is owning a horse."

There is this joke about an American cowboy who started an unknown 15-year-old horse in the prize annual race for cowboys' horses, and the horse won by 100m! They asked him why he was only racing this outstanding animal at 15 years old, and he said, "I couldn't catch him till last month!"
SueC is offline  
post #9 of 44 Old 06-27-2014, 02:42 PM
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Central Oregon, USA
Posts: 2,845
• Horses: 2
Why did the pony need a glass of water?
He was a little hoarse!
karliejaye is offline  
post #10 of 44 Old 06-27-2014, 02:47 PM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 880
• Horses: 2
When does a horse decide to run?

In the spur of a moment.

Chad Barnes 6-16-85~7-22-13
Hero Act - Thoroughbred Gelding ~ Gunner - Quarter Horse Gelding ~ John Deere - Mini Gelding
HeroMyOttb is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.



User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Horse Jokes! Katze Jokes and Funnies 13 10-03-2011 12:02 AM
Jokes From A Stall Bound Horse MIEventer Horse Talk 16 01-11-2010 10:16 PM
some funny horse jokes sempre_cantando Jokes and Funnies 3 07-03-2008 08:16 AM
Lots of funny horse jokes! Rachluvshorses4eva Jokes and Funnies 8 06-24-2007 08:05 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome