Really lame horse jokes - Page 3 - The Horse Forum

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post #21 of 44 Old 08-27-2014, 07:17 PM
Yearling
 
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A man bought two horses but was having a hard time telling them apart, his neighbour said "why don't you shave the mane off one of the horses"?
Later the neighbour asked how he was getting along with the horses, he said " I did what you suggested and that makes it so much easier to tell the white one from the black one"
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post #22 of 44 Old 08-27-2014, 07:50 PM Thread Starter
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post #23 of 44 Old 08-27-2014, 07:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Woodhaven View Post
A man bought two horses but was having a hard time telling them apart, his neighbour said "why don't you shave the mane off one of the horses"?
Later the neighbour asked how he was getting along with the horses, he said " I did what you suggested and that makes it so much easier to tell the white one from the black one"
This one made me start cracking up in the middle of class. Everyones silent since half my class is doing a test, so that just makes it even worse
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If I am not riding I'm thinking about horses, and if I am not thinking about horses I'm riding
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post #24 of 44 Old 08-27-2014, 08:00 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bkylem View Post
How do you tame a wild stallion ?

Introduce him to a gelding.
Veeeery dark, hahaha!

Do you reckon a film called The Black Gelding would have made it big?

Speaking of such things, about 15 years ago I was visiting a veterinarian in the family whilst he was performing such an operation, and I was bemoaning the fact that a group of anatomy students I was supervising had all failed a test question asking them to label the cross-section of a testicle. We looked at each other and a light bulb appeared in the ether between us. He serendipitously produced an empty Chinese take-away container from his car and placed the organs in it, and that is how I took them back to my students, who thereafter, on a re-test, all passed the question. Unfortunately I was young and had an Aspergian focus on improving the learning experience, and had no idea of the stir this ended up causing in the hallowed halls of learning. Random people were asking me pointed questions for months afterwards!
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post #25 of 44 Old 08-27-2014, 08:55 PM Thread Starter
Green Broke
 
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I have a suggestion for a great practical joke that could be played on a horse person!

DH and I have a running fantasy that if we won Lotto, we'd go rent or buy a stack of those life-sized horse mannequins like they have at tack shops, and secretly substitute them for my father's real horses, while hiding them all in the back paddock. It would be priceless to see his face walking out in the morning and looking at a line of plastic horses poking their noses out of the stables!

Maybe one of you readers will one day be in a position to do something like that, haha!
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post #26 of 44 Old 09-02-2014, 08:02 PM
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That would be hilarious!!
Sounds like you and your DH have a fun sense of humor as we do! We love to laugh and joke with each other - I'm a tad better at it than he is, however! Haha
This past April 1st, (April Fool's Day) I played a good one.... DH loves and thrives on the delicious lunches I pack for him each day- On April 1st this year however, I kissed him goodbye and smiled large as he toted his lunchbox to the truck and left for work. Unbeknownst to him, he was already drooling over a lunchbox full of Petoskey stones (we collect them), but on top of the stones was a note to further investigate the truck for another lunch box containing a real lunch... That was the day a college intern was starting for the season @ his station, and got quite a chuckle over DH's "dilemma" :) * Not a lame horse joke, but came to mind and couldn't resist haha
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post #27 of 44 Old 09-02-2014, 08:07 PM
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why can horses jump so high?


They have frogs in their feet!!!!
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post #28 of 44 Old 09-02-2014, 08:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SueC View Post
I have a suggestion for a great practical joke that could be played on a horse person!

DH and I have a running fantasy that if we won Lotto, we'd go rent or buy a stack of those life-sized horse mannequins like they have at tack shops, and secretly substitute them for my father's real horses, while hiding them all in the back paddock. It would be priceless to see his face walking out in the morning and looking at a line of plastic horses poking their noses out of the stables!

Maybe one of you readers will one day be in a position to do something like that, haha!
Sue, that reminds me, when I was much younger (long, long ago) I lived a a small community where almost everyone had at least one horse. It was Halloween and I and a friend of mine were "too old to trick or treat" but still wanting to be involved in the Halloween spirit. So, we decided to play a trick instead of getting treats. In the wee hours of the morning, we spent a couple of hours walking around from property to property switching everyones horses around! It was great! It took the entire community most of the next day to get it all straightened out.
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post #29 of 44 Old 09-08-2014, 08:28 PM
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^^Very brave lass you are!^^ I'd be somewhat frantic at first to find that my mares had gone missing! :)

** A tad less than a horse joke- (Apologies!) One year (when too old to trick or treat also), a girlfriend and I went across to a fancy subdivision and picked up every single 'Real Estate For Sale' sign we could find, and put them all in someone's front yard! Imagine the homeowner waking up in the morning to see that!? Hahahaha
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post #30 of 44 Old 09-08-2014, 08:44 PM
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Northernstar, that's a good one. I may need to borrow it. Never too old, you know!
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