"Suthinuhs" for you Northerners that is pronounced Southerners :)
 
 

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"Suthinuhs" for you Northerners that is pronounced Southerners :)

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    04-03-2014, 08:10 AM
  #1
Super Moderator
"Suthinuhs" for you Northerners that is pronounced Southerners :)

.

"Suthinuhs"

FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW THE RULES

Southerners know their summer weather report:
Humidity, Humidity, Humidity

Southerners know their vacation spots:
The beach, The Rivuh, The crick

Southerners know everybody's first name:
Honey, Dawlin', Shugah

Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes, Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias, Gone With The Wind
Southern Comfort, Ole Yellar

Southerners know their religions:
Bapdiss, Methdiss, Football

Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn, S'vanah, Foat Wuth
N'awlins, Addlanna, Fate'ville

Southerners know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform, Men in tuxedos, Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall, The Country Club, The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails, Having bad manners, Cooking food badly

Only a Southerner knows the difference between
a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you
don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many
fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is,
as in:"Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that
"Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.
They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a
big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis,
they also know to add a large banana puddin'!

Only Southerners grow upknowing the difference between "right near"

And "a right far piece."They also know that" just down the road" can be a mile or 20.



Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between
a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as
a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines,
... and when we're "in line, ... we talk to everybody!

In the South, y'all is singular,
and all y'all is plural.

Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits,
and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; that scrambled eggs just ain't right without Tabasco,

And fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin',"
you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."
Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it --
we do not like our tea unsweetened.
"Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little
old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway.
You just say, "Bless her sweet little heart"... and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness:
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.

Bless your little heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding
all this Southern stuff... bless your hearts, I hear they're fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah!
There ain't no magazine named "Northern Living" for good reason. There ain't nobody interested in livin' up north and nobody would buy the magazine!

If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.

.
     
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    04-03-2014, 08:30 AM
  #2
Weanling
Love this! I recently had to explain to my northern family (Boston) that my dad wanted milk to drink with his breakfast when he told the waitress "sweet milk". Bless their hearts , they were so confused! ;P
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    04-03-2014, 08:51 AM
  #3
Trained
AMEN! (A word commonly used outside of church.)

They forgot about s'utherners knowing the difference in the animal kingdom between critters, chiggers, and crawlers...
Critters you kill and eat. Chiggers you avoid at all possible costs. Crawlers you use to fish. :)
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Tack Collector and elbandita like this.
     
    04-03-2014, 10:39 AM
  #4
Super Moderator
I'm beginning to think that a lot of people from the West Midlands (that's in the UK btw) ended up in the suthurn states!!!
     
    04-03-2014, 10:49 AM
  #5
Trained
I can substitute about 80% of "Southerners" with "Bavarians"...
     
    04-03-2014, 12:38 PM
  #6
Showing
Unless you're from Texas or Oklahoma, then you take all those words, remove the "h"s and add extra "r"s LOL. So dah-lin becomes darrr-lin and "I sweah" becomes "I swurr" .

We've got the Texas drawl rather than the "Southern Belle" .
     
    04-03-2014, 02:36 PM
  #7
Super Moderator
Y'all hear dat rat cheer!

I gahrahntee it.
     
    04-03-2014, 02:50 PM
  #8
Weanling
Great post!

Quote:
Southerners know their religions: Bapdiss, Methdiss, Football
^ LMBO! Fah too menny uptight Cathlics up he-ah in mah town. No fun, a'tall. LOL


Quote:
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in:"Going to town, be back directly."
Oh, I know how long that is. I frequently use that "directly" term with great stealth and advantage. Most Northerners have caught on to maņana and I can't use it anymore.

Quote:
There ain't no magazine named "Northern Livng" for good reason. There ain't nobody interested in livin' up north and nobody would buy the magazine!
Okay that one is a riot, too, bless your heart.
     
    04-03-2014, 02:50 PM
  #9
Foal
Haha! I luvvvv it, smrobs!
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    04-03-2014, 03:33 PM
  #10
Weanling
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaydee    
I'm beginning to think that a lot of people from the West Midlands (that's in the UK btw) ended up in the suthurn states!!!

I watched a PBS program years ago, and they traced many of the characteristics of Appalachian dialects back to parts of England. So, yeah, might be a good deal of UK influence on the South, as well.

A British engineer that I used to work with said he could tell that Pennsylvania had been settled by the Germans, because "Penn-syl-vane'-e-aa put up signs just afteh you cross the bordeh, telling you what you cahn and cahnt doo." hahahahaha He always reminded the Italian and the German engineers "just who won the War," too.
     

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