10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don’t pick
it up right away. Shout, “Get off, Get off, GET OFF!”
9.Leap out of a moving vehicle & practice “relaxing in
the fall.” Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your
8. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and
write out a $200 check without even looking down.
7.Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot.
Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you are doing -
they might as well know now.
6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and
practice pulling it to a halt. Smile as if you are
5. Hone your fibbing skills “See, hon, moving hay
bales in FUN!” & “No, really, I’m glad your lucky
performance and multimillion dollar horse won the blue
ribbon. I am just thankful that my hard work and
actual ability won me second place.”
4.Practice dialing your chiropractor’s number with
both arms paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot
anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
3. Borrow the US Army slogan: Be All That You Can Be -
bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen, etc.
2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most
expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself, “This
is a learning experience, this is a learning
experience, this is…”
1. The number 1 exercise to become a better equestrian
- marry money!! Horse Poems & Quotes Horsey Jokes