The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more
Than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge
Then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that
They also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family
And learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Detroit Lions, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.