Women vs Men - The Horse Forum
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 14 Old 07-03-2008, 03:45 AM Thread Starter
Foal
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 165
• Horses: 2
Women vs Men

Got an email . . . didn't find it that funny but you might *shrugs*. (I think it's cause my brain might be off).



WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.



Keep reading-they get better!!!


`````````````````````````````````````````````````` `````````


WOMEN'S REVENGE

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.

'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ````

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,

pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,

and still be afraid of a spider.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,

Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,

'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.'

He addressed the man,

'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.

The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.

He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.

She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store

to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco

and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.

(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton)

`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``````

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'


``````````````````````````````````````````````````

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be

so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,

and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.

The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and

you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee'

Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'

Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . 'HEBREWS'

`````````````````````````````````````````````````` `````````````

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home

and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,

'Please wake me at 5:00 AM ..' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,

when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

`````````````````````````````````````````````````` `````````

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece
OnlySamwise is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 14 Old 07-03-2008, 01:23 PM
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Where ever i am.
Posts: 3,966
• Horses: 2
LMAO a few of then were really funny!!

Gingerrrrr is offline  
post #3 of 14 Old 07-03-2008, 08:56 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: USA Texas
Posts: 238
• Horses: 0
hahaha those were pretty funny!
TurnNBurn17 is offline  
post #4 of 14 Old 07-03-2008, 11:28 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: California
Posts: 373
• Horses: 0
lol! i liked those!

No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle. ~Winston Churchill
brightside is offline  
post #5 of 14 Old 07-03-2008, 11:54 PM
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Chickamauga, Georgia
Posts: 4,703
• Horses: 1
LOL thats funny!!

3 barrels , 2 hearts & 1 passion
buckaroo2010 is offline  
post #6 of 14 Old 07-04-2008, 03:50 AM
Showing
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: MD
Posts: 12,110
• Horses: 1
Haha aw those were funny!

Ride more, worry less.
PoptartShop is online now  
post #7 of 14 Old 07-17-2008, 11:39 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 230
• Horses: 0
Thats given me my giggle for the day!

thanks for sharing!!!!!

My Number 1 Rule When Owning A Horse:
"HANG OUT WITH THEM AND BE THEIR BUDDY, THEN THEY'RE YOURS FOR LIFE"
Zanesgirl is offline  
post #8 of 14 Old 07-18-2008, 02:36 AM
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 2,682
• Horses: 1
haha, that was funny!
mlkarel2010 is offline  
post #9 of 14 Old 07-18-2008, 02:54 AM
Started
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia-The best Country!
Posts: 2,192
• Horses: 0
I just love the waxing one! I'll have to read the rest of them later! I wonder ow people make all this funny stuff up?!

Rach
WE ARE GEELONG! THE GREATEST TEAM OF ALL.....
Rachluvshorses4eva is offline  
post #10 of 14 Old 10-30-2008, 08:15 AM
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: SE Finland
Posts: 17,353
• Horses: 0
Haha Those are great!


"On hyviä vuosia, kauniita muistoja, mutta kuitenkaan, en saata unohtaa,
Että koskaan en ole yksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Vaikka myrsky hetkeksi tyyntyykin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Ja pian taas uusin hönkäyksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Hei tuu mun luo, pieneksi hetkeksi. Puhutaan, varjoni, valkoiseksi enkeliksi."

Pelle Miljoona - Varjo seuraa onneain

TaMMa89 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.



User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome