Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?
 
 

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Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

This is a discussion on Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck? within the Jokes and Funnies forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category
  • Democrats vs rednecks
  • Rednecks are going to start a war

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    10-11-2008, 09:48 PM
  #1
Started
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question:




> You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

> Suddenly, a knife yielding thug yelling threatening words and saying he's going to kill you appears. He's running at you as fast as he can.

> You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

> You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

> What do you do?
.................................................. ........

> THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:

Democrat's Answer :

> Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
> Does the man look poor or oppressed?
> Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
> Could we run away?
> What does my wife think?
> What about the kids?
> Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
> What does the law say about this situation?
> Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
> Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
> Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
> Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
> If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
> Should I call 9-1-1?
> Why is this street so deserted?
> We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
> This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
.................................................. ..............................


Republican's Answer:

> BANG!
.................................................. ..............................


Redneck's Answer:

> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
> Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

> Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver tips or hollow points?! '

> Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

> Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the taxidermist!
     
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    10-12-2008, 10:34 PM
  #2
Chat Moderator
True, but the redneck wasted too much ammo. The Republican had the right answer.
     
    10-13-2008, 01:05 AM
  #3
Weanling
So, the democrat thinks, the republican doesn't, the redneck makes it a family affair?

Oh, I'm asking too many questions. I must be a democrat.

What about the Green party, or Independent answer?
     
    10-13-2008, 01:57 AM
  #4
Started
Lol With that scenario, what is to think about?

Haha, Kentucky! Don't you know the Redneck had enough ammunition to start a mini-civil war stocked up for Y2K? He had plenty to spare.
     
    10-13-2008, 06:34 AM
  #5
Yearling
Hahaha that was pretty funny. I had to show my dad who was cracking up too!
     
    10-13-2008, 08:28 AM
  #6
Weanling
Remember the shooting in the Unitarian Universalist Church in Knoxville earlier this year? The shooter killed 2 and wounded others, but the church members grabbed and restrained him in about 2 seconds flat. Funny...usually when these things happen, the shooter holes up with hostages or escapes to kill at another church (as in Colorado) or there's a siege that ends with the guy committing suicide or being shot by cops. Unitarian Universalist churches are known for being just about the most liberal around, the vast majority of members are Democrats...but unlike so many other "shooting rampage" stories in the last few years, people from the crowd restrained the guy almost immediately.
     
    10-13-2008, 10:28 AM
  #7
Chat Moderator
That is funny, and while the redneck had that much ammo, I assumed he had a standard, one mag in the gun and two reload on his body. This is the minum that LEO carry offically in must area according to some writers. And I veiwed it as three possible responces to self defence scenaro.

That is still a bood joke.
     
    10-13-2008, 12:18 PM
  #8
Weanling
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyDreamer    
lol With that scenario, what is to think about?

Haha, Kentucky! Don't you know the Redneck had enough ammunition to start a mini-civil war stocked up for Y2K? He had plenty to spare.
Hmmm...I guess killing someone is something the think about.

If the guy coming at them didn't have a gun in the first place, no one would be shooting anyone.

     
    10-13-2008, 12:31 PM
  #9
Yearling
If someone was saying he was going to kill me when he got to me, I would run like hell so he didn't get to me. That way nobody dies!
     
    10-13-2008, 01:01 PM
  #10
Chat Moderator
Hope the kids and wife can keep up. The way I see it is a treat is charging at your family with the plan to kill, rob, rape or any combo of the three. Yes, leaving the area is a great plan, one I like if possible.

There are scenaro where you must act, not try to put yourself into the other person's shoes.

This was a joke about how different groups view a scenaro, not antthing more. We are getting to serious about it.
     

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