Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck? - Page 2
 
 

       The Horse Forum > Life Beyond Horses > Jokes and Funnies

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

This is a discussion on Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck? within the Jokes and Funnies forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

    Like Tree3Likes

     
    LinkBack Thread Tools
        10-13-2008, 01:29 PM
      #11
    Yearling
    Yup xD But I would still run very fast, alongside my wife and behind my kids. Hopefully I'm a better athelete than she is ...
         
    Sponsored Links
    Advertisement
     
        10-13-2008, 05:20 PM
      #12
    Started
    Well then, let's change it up.

    What if instead of a lunatic person was running at you saying he was going to kill you, a really big, mean dog was coming at you snarling and growling, showing every indication that he was intending to harm you for whatever reason.
         
        10-13-2008, 05:25 PM
      #13
    Yearling
    I'm terrified of dogs. My wife gets to fend it off while I scream and turn totally useless.
         
        10-13-2008, 06:57 PM
      #14
    Banned
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by LadyDreamer    
    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.
    The answer can be found by posing the following question:




    > You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

    > Suddenly, a knife yielding thug yelling threatening words and saying he's going to kill you appears. He's running at you as fast as he can.

    > You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

    > You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    > What do you do?
    .................................................. ........

    > THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:

    Democrat's Answer :

    > Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    > Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    > Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    > Could we run away?
    > What does my wife think?
    > What about the kids?
    > Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    > What does the law say about this situation?
    > Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
    > Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    > Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    > Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    > If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    > Should I call 9-1-1?
    > Why is this street so deserted?
    > We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    > This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
    .................................................. ..............................


    Republican's Answer:

    > BANG!
    .................................................. ..............................


    Redneck's Answer:

    > BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    > Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
    > BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

    > Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver tips or hollow points?! '

    > Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

    > Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the taxidermist!
    I would shoot him in the foot knowing that he would get free healthcare.

    I am an NDP.
         
        10-13-2008, 09:10 PM
      #15
    Chat Moderator
    Enjoy the law sue that SOB will throw at you.
         
        10-13-2008, 09:16 PM
      #16
    Started
    Well, still. It does specify that "you" are an expert shot, so where is only a matter of choice. Oh sorry, if you take that route.

    Reminds me of last weeks episode of Boston Legal.

    Denny and Jerry are walking through a parking garage, when a gun-wielding man jumps out with a gun and demands their wallets and watches or he would shoot them. Denny hands over his wallet and his watch, then pulls a gun of his own and shoots the man in both knees and a foot. "Self defense." Great show.
         
        10-13-2008, 09:28 PM
      #17
    Foal
    Personally I think I am a redneck republican. I don't care that your daddy drank and your momma did drugs and you grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and life is not fair. As adults, there are ALWAYS choices, and you don't have to chose to be a thug loser with no job. And you can chose to be a victim....or you can chose NOT to be a victim.
         
        10-14-2008, 08:02 AM
      #18
    Yearling
    Um, if my housemate, V, who is half a foot taller than me and weighs twice as much, decided to beat me up, I don't think I'd have much of a choice about being a victim. He can run faster than me, he is stronger than me, he could squash me, he knows a martial art ... I could knee him in the groin, pull his hair, or possibly hit him with a dressage whip. XD

    So I'd probably just stick V in between me and the rabid dog/rabid human and let him sort it out!
         
        10-16-2008, 03:21 PM
      #19
    Chat Moderator
    If it was a rapid dog I would shoot it, to keep it from spendingthat disease
         
        10-16-2008, 07:24 PM
      #20
    Yearling
    If it was a rapid dog I probably wouldn't be able to outrun it.
         

    Quick Reply
    Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.
    Message:
    Options

    Register Now

    In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

    Already have a Horse Forum account?
    Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

    New to the Horse Forum?
    Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

    User Name:
    Password
    Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
    Password:
    Confirm Password:
    Email Address
    Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
    Email Address:

    Log-in

    Human Verification

    In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


    Old Thread Warning
    This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

    Thread Tools

    Similar Threads
    Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
    redneck horse names exp35post912 Horse Talk 18 09-21-2008 01:14 PM
    You might be a Redneck if you.... Brandon General Off Topic Discussion 26 07-08-2008 12:09 PM



    All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:10 AM.


    Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
    Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
    Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0