Okay, so I've been doing basic EQ and dressage with my horse for a couple of months now, since about mid April, we haven't been jumping a lot at all, mainly because we both needed to get stronger and work on my basics. Fast forward to now we are starting to incorporate x rails back into it, so we can work up to gymnastics. And even though its a tiny x rail, and my horse can trot over them and we've jumped 1'6 before (I know, I'm a total noob) I turn to jello. I mean shaking, all the muscles in my arms go limp, my core completely disengages and I end up looking like a wet noodle and falling on my horses neck. Its hugely embarrassing.
I had a pretty bad fall the last time we were jumping, we went over a 2' x rail and my horse bucked upon landing sending me flying off sideways and he took off. At a show no less. So now every time I jump I think about that and fall to pieces. Even though I know I'm much much better rider and have a much more secure seat I can't seem to get past my fear. Anyone have any pointers on how to get my courage back?