You're not rambling. I am sure the OP appreciates to know that she's not the only one out there with issues.
Trust me, the best way to learn not to get ahead of your horse, is to have a horse that will stop dead in his/her tracks at the base of the fence.
You must learn to stay behind your horse always.
Yes, there are amazing lesson horses out there who do a great job, doing their job - regardless of the errors their riders throw at them continuously while over fences. These horses keep going and keep their rider safe, regardless.
These horses deserve alot of praise and these horses do serve their purpose.
But, it is those other horses out there, who don't cover their riders butt's when their rider makes a mistake or mistakes while over fences. These horses stop, veer, knock over the fence - what have you - because their riders made a mistake.
These are the horses, that I feel, teach you what you do wrong, so you can go back and correct it.
It are the GOOD RIDERS who say "My horse refused, because I did......." or "My horse veered out, because I was not doing......."
The BAD RIDERS are the one's who lay fault in their horses. "My horse refused the fence, stupid horse" *sorry, but it is the stupid riders fault*
LOL, me? Not rambling? I never thought I'd hear someone say that XD
I absolutely agree with you there, horses that stop are invaluable to teaching a rider to wait. I've seen it work before. If the rider can handle having a horse refuse every time they get ahead, then it's perfect.
However, if you aren't careful it can get to the point where said horse is destroying the rider's confidence and actually making the problem worse...this is what happened with me and Leo. I got ahead of him/stop riding/'turtle' up, and he'd stop. We'd come back to the jump and I'd panic about him stopping, get ahead of him/stop riding/'turtle' up, and he'd stop. Then the next time I rode him, I would panic before I even got on him, having him act up both on the flat and over fences. It was a nasty, vicious cycle that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I needed to ride a few horses like you described - those who wouldn't stop for anything, to get my confidence somewhere close to what it was before the Leo ordeal.
Of course, now that I'm more confident and really need to learn how to support my horse all the way through the fence, Leo is perfect for me.
Again, I agree with you! (shocker, right? Hah) Whenever something bad happens, I'm usually laughing and going "I was stupid because [insert mistake here]". It really irks me when people in my lesson have a refusal and then get angry at the horse.