Sorry for any inconvenience, but several posts that did not further the OP's goal of receiving constructive criticism in this thread were removed, and references to those posts were removed from other posts.
When members ask for critique and then receive it, please be sure to respect the members who spend their time offering help. You are of course free to disagree with any advice given, but if so you have to post your disagreement tactfully and recommend helpful alternatives to the OP who is looking for advice. After all, we would not have much of a critique section if members were dissuaded from offering constructive criticism in fear that others might respond harshly towards them simply because they disagree.
Please do not respond to this post here, but pm me with any questions, comments, or concerns so that this thread can remain dedicated to offering the OP advice.