Lost a little of my confidence today.

So I was in my lesson and my horse was jumping great we were jumping 2'-2'6 and he was doing awesome! Then my trainer made an oxer, and it was sorta my horse's first time and last time he jumped one he refused. So it looked as if he was going to jump it and then he refused.

He kept refusing and I lost my confidence, and we had to follow my friends horse over a staight,(because I landed on the jump and broke the cups) and he almost refused that too but didnt.

So im just eh now, Im afraid he will get on a refusing spree, I did not get physically hurt, just mentally if that makes sense. I don't know why I'm afraid. Any advice? Has this happened to you? What did you do to build your horses and your confidence back?

Thanks :) I plan to jump a little lower and free jump him oxers instead.

I just bring the jumps down a little and do them until they look small. Then I put them back up. Most likely, the only reason your horse refused was because you were not 100% committed to jumping. Once your committed, end of problem. Curious to know if the oxer appeared bigger to you than the comparable height verticals?

Oh yes this has happened to me! And it sucks I know. But you have to look past that lesson and realize even the best riders have 'off' days. Last summer my horse and I went on a refusing spree. I lost some of my confidence and wanted to give up but I knew I couldnt. I kept pushing myself to get through that phase, and I had some amazing friends to help me. I did however, start lowering the fences, to slowly build my confidence back up. It worked, very well. And now jumping, is forever, and always will be my most favorite thing to do.
For you, lowering the fences is a great idea. Keep them as low as you want until you believe you are ready to start hitting the higher jumps. Just ALWAYS keep a positive mind set and never give up. Remember, if you get frustrated, un-focused, or lose your confidence, your horse will to. Always keep your head up, good things will happen!
Good luck. Keep us updated!

It has happened to me as well as to people I've known, though it's been some time since I did any jumping!

It helps to just go back to a smaller height, and make some lower jumps of different geometries, and then go back to the height later.

I think that you're at a point where a lot of people tend to get tense. I think it's kind of a mental barrier, getting into more complex obstacles, a little higher etc.

I think it's important to just give yourself time and not put a ton of pressure on yourself. I think your horse won't be tense if you aren't tense.

Or...I COULD do one of those Milton Erikson things....he felt people responded to language in amazing ways, so he'd say, 'These things don't get solved OVERNIGHT, they don't go away INSTANTLY, or in THREE DAYS, you can't expect these PROBLEMS to just DISAPPEAR'...and the person would usually go back and their fear would have disappeared, 'like magic'....LOL.

Well said MyBoyPuck, and I completely agree.