It was my first time EVER jumping stuff like that
Wait, I thought you were on an Eventing Team and have been Eventing for years prior. Didn't you do a Mini Event not that long ago, which means you've had to of jumped CC fences???
Why must you aways get so confrontational whenever peope want to reach out and help you. Joshie was concerned as quite a few others are after seeing that CC vid. You are very insecure in your tack, you have a very insecure seat and you have to realize that you cannot ride like that on a CC course or you will definatley get into allot of trouble.
That's why you came off with Stormy at your little Mini Trial. If you jumped ahead on her like you do throughout that whole video you just posted - it's no wonder you came off of her when she put the breaks on.
Of course being out on the CC course is a blast and great fun - no one wants to take that away from you. And of course you should be proud of what you guys got to do that day on the course with your friends.
We all have to start somewhere and we all realize you are a very green rider and have a long way to go - we all have issues to work on, regardless of how long we've been in the saddle, so it is understandable that Joshie is only trying to be helpful - no one wants to see you get hurt.