LOL - so the jumps that fall down when you hit them scare you, but the solid ones that end in ditches are cool! A true eventer at heart. :)
Kudos to you for facing your fears. You probably already thought of this, but I'll bet it isn't the jumps you are scared of, it is your reaction or lack thereof that you fear. You messed up and had a bad fall and now you're afraid you'll do it again.
Right now, your videos look like you are just a passenger (albeit a competent one), taking whatever spots you arrive at, probably because you don't trust yourself to make a decision. I agree about working on your eye and your distances - poles, cavellittis, bounces, in-and-outs. I'd work a lot on small single jumps and changing up your distances, taking longer and shorter spots and noticing which ones you get. Once you're solid smaller, move up. Knowing that you can see the distances and move or check to take them will make you more confident with your ability to safely and effectively navigate a stadium course. Remember, if you don't see a spot several strides out, do something (move up, slow down) to make one.
Can't wait to see more videos as you progress - Good Luck!!!