I know of a barn in my area that will NOT let anyone under 18 jump over 18 inches and they won't let you jump period until you're 14+. I can understand not letting someone jump if they don't have the basic knowledge needed to jump a fence, but if you're a good solid rider on the flat and know the needed information and can apply the skills, then why not let someone start over little jumps? I've never understood that.
Sounds to me like you might need to switch to someone different then the two trainers you're with (or been with in this case). If you want to learn how to jump, then find someone who can meet your needs. But if the trainer does not think you're physically ready to jump, then I would take his/her word for it. If that makes sense :)
After all, you're the one paying the bills! Good luck to you!
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