Since I moved to the new barn I am at, I've been working an amazing Trainer who competes at the GP Level. He's been able to get me past my mental block and fears of doing stadium fences.
I've been jumping with him since March, and I've found that my heart doesn't race anymore, nor do I make excuses to not do the fences, and I don't end up in fetal position, terrified and blocked. I've finally found a Coach who is able to see my issues and target them, and a Coach who has given me tools, to ride my stadium with confidence.
So, here is the video of Nelson and I doing 2'11" and 3'3". YAY ME! Excuse the inbetween part - throughout the lesson the cavaletti's were part of our "course" - he forgot to tell me to not do them the last round....
No fear, no hesitation! I'm extactic!