Adventures of a re-rider: breaking through the fear - Page 3

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Adventures of a re-rider: breaking through the fear

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        10-31-2013, 03:42 PM
    I've really enjoyed following your story. I'm sort of a rerider myself having had a Shetland pony as a child and now in my mid 40's with horses again with my 9 year old daughter. I never did much with the Shetland as at that age I prefered a dirt bike. My daughter has been in lessons 4-5 years now and I'm sure I've learned as much as she has. I look forward to the weekly lessons as much as she does as the instructor allows me to bring one of my horses and ride along with the kids but out of the way. We have 4 horses and I enjoy riding each of them. Neither is perfect but they are all good. Being novices I was careful in selecting well broke middle aged horses. My hope was if we didn't know what we were doing maybe the horse would. While I commend you on facing your fears it sounds like you have more horse than you can handle at this point in your life. Maybe you should sell Obie and buy a more suitable horse so that riding is fun for you again. I hate to say it but my back isn't as good as it once was so I ride gaited horses.
    nikelodeon79 and L8rg8r like this.
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        10-31-2013, 04:20 PM
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    Originally Posted by nikelodeon79    
    I've told people at the barn my asking price and that he's for sale, but haven't officially listed him. We are going to get some videos soon and work on an ad.

    The person who sold him to me has right of first refusal but I doubt she wants him at the price I'm asking. I'll offer, though.
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    The worst part is all the thinking about it - I cried when my 'mistake horse' went, I'm such a fool and she was quite a stand-offish thing when she came to us but had really learnt to want to be around me so it made it feel worse but once she'd gone it was almost like a feeling of relief that I didn't have to get on her again.
    Good luck with working through this
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        10-31-2013, 06:03 PM
    I love reading your posts. As previously stated, you are a great writer! And I feel like I can really relate to what you're going through even tho my story is a bit different. But I know very well the fear you've described and how hard it is to get over. It sounds like you are doing a great job! Good luck with your decision!
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        10-31-2013, 07:14 PM
    Well, at least you've still got time to make a decision, then. (:
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        10-31-2013, 09:46 PM
    Sorry if you've said, but have you done other groundwork besides longe him? Groundwork comes first, imo. You learn to be the leader, to move the horse's different body parts, & to partner up with horse, which transfers to saddle time.

    I must add that I think your trainer's been too "stiff upper lip, fake it till you make it" with you & your fear: fake it till you make it doesn't work with horses, since they're masters at reading emotion & intent. Guess you know that, because after mounting up all those times that you didn't want to, you're now wanting to sell him. Better if you'd developed a conversation with him via groundwork, which'd've upped your confidence for riding.

    Before you sell him, I'd get some groundwork instruction, like Parelli 7 Games, & learn those with him. Best of luck, & I think that poor OB has done really well, being so green & having to deal with a green owner, & ridiculous visions like sheep costumes!
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        10-31-2013, 10:18 PM
    My trainer has done a lot of ground work with him but I have not. Honestly I think we're just starting to form a bond.

    I think you're right... I need to go out to the barn and do things with him other than ride.

    And as far as my trainer is concerned, I think you're right and I she realizes it, now. I don't know that she knew just how terrified I am... But now that I had my little breakdown she it's telling me to wait to ride him until she and Helen have ridden him more. I can continue riding the school horses and build confidence that way. It makes me feel good that she thinks I can handle him but now she also says that's have to WANT to handle it, as well.

    It's so easy for me to sit here all comfortable in my house and want to get on but actually being there, watching him act up and getting up on that mounting block is a whole different story.

    I talked to my vet tonight about Obie and he recommended getting the chiropractor out and also doing a blood test for Lyme. He said he saw a couple horses with similar issues that ended up testing positive. It's worth a shot, anyway.
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        11-01-2013, 05:27 AM
    Yes, there's the first fear threshold, which you learn to tolerate till the fear lessens, thus the threshold is pushed farther out, then there's the second threshold, which you don't want to hit, which is intolerable to you.

    Just now watching Parelli with Linda saying, "There'll come a time when you'll have enough savvy that you'll get BORED when your horse goes like clockwork: you'll LOOK for horses who have issues/holes in their training."

    I"d love to see you get to that point & enjoy educating & BEING taught by OB! I hope it works out, since there's always the possibility of a horse falling through the cracks when he's sold.
    nikelodeon79 and L8rg8r like this.
        11-01-2013, 05:51 AM
    I'm a re-rider as well. I rode for 4 years then have basically had 8 years off and I'm taking lessons. And holy ****, THE FEAR! On the ground and dismounting. The horse I ride now is scary. She basically doesn't like people, but she's usually semi happy to see me, she'll whinny when she sees me and comes to the gate. She's easy to catch, however she will not stand nicely through grooming. Or saddling. I usually let her graze while I groom. Then once she's done, she gets tied, I have to make sure she knows she has reins around her neck or she'll take off. Once she's bridled THEN I can Saddle her. Gotta keep the rein on her opposite taught so she can't bite. And watch her back leg.

    But I love her <3 She's a dream to ride, great teacher. Never spooks. Even as safe as Abby is I'm still scared of dismounting. I prob hang their for a few extra seconds everytime to make sure she isn't going to do something. I'm riding another horse too, he's a love bug, but dismounting still scares me. But YET, give me a bucking rearing horse while I'm in the saddle and I'm okay.

    I think it's because you know it's dangerous and the possibilities with horses is always their!

    He's a pretty boy! Least he's teaching you lots!
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        11-02-2013, 12:53 PM
    Been thinking a lot about doing more actual groundwork with him but am not entirely sure where to begin.

    I should mention that I have an irrational dislike for all things Parelli. It really isn't fair... I know so very little about the actual nuts and bolts of the training style and am likely judging it based on greenhorns that have somehow mucked it up. All I know is that I see someone wiggle a lead rope and I want to roll my eyes.

    So... please help me to get over my prejudice and/or suggest alternatives.
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        11-07-2013, 12:31 AM
    I listed Obie for sale today.

    Part of me feels relieved, but the other part wants to curl into a ball and cry.

    Still, I think it's the right thing to do, and my trainer agrees. So now I guess we'll see. We'll leave it in the hands of God... if he sells I look for something new but if he doesn't, his training continues and I try to get over this big mental block.

    I had another great lesson on Sunday on Tuck, a sweet Haflinger gelding. He's a bit on the lazy side so it's an extra challenge (and a bit of a workout!) to keep him going. My trainer feels I'm ready to move beyond the beginner groups so that's exciting. This weekend she's out of town at a clinic but said I can ride one of the school horses if I want to ride this weekend.

    Next week it's on to novice classes.
    L8rg8r likes this.

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