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Adventures of a re-rider: breaking through the fear

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    01-06-2014, 10:36 AM
Super Moderator
It sounds like a great idea - but please be sure that you are going to feel OK with other people riding him once he becomes your very own horse because I've seen those sort of arrangements end badly
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    01-12-2014, 11:01 PM
Obie and I are back in training.

He was ridden in a dressage saddle for the first time today and did well. Gave a tiny crowhop but since he's been out of training for over a month we expected him to be a bit fresh.

I rode General in a lesson. It was my second time cantering in an English saddle.

I almost fell off.

I just got out of position and forgot what to do, but I remembered and recovered after a few seconds. It was a good feeling.

We did a lot of two point work today. Going to be sore tomorrow!
Golden Horse, jaydee and L8rg8r like this.
    01-13-2014, 12:22 AM
Wow, you sound like me. I also bought a horse that was too much for me. He also took off on me when I first got on him....gave a buck & galloped around the outdoor ring. Boy, did that scare me....I'm also a re-rider & being older it was scared after that & wanted to return him. Well, they didn't have a horse tall enough for me...I'm 6' so I brought him back to board at where I bought him to get him some sound like me....I was very scared!! Thought he would run away with me....wanted to sell him, didn't want to sell him. Had him sold & changed my mind....wanted to keep him....then he started spooking a scared again. He was a nice horse too!! Very friendly, & lots of personality! But he was very sensitive & too much horse for me.....then the weather changed & he got scared again so I called the buyer back & her daughter still wanted him...she has a Dressage trainer & he will get more training than I could afford. Also, I was having the assistant trainer ride him also. So I was paying people to ride him & I wasn't even riding him. So I had him for a year & it was quite an experience!! Now I'm looking for a School Master horse that has "been there, done that"! Good luck with your horse...I'm sure you will make the right decision for yourself. It is very hard to make that decision. Loved reading your posts...glad that someone else feels the same way!!
nikelodeon79 and L8rg8r like this.
    01-18-2014, 12:54 AM
I was supposed to have a lesson yesterday, but when I arrived at the barn I found out the lesson had been cancelled due to cold. My trainer told me I could ride her horse if I wanted, since I'd driven all the way out there.

Riding General just for fun made me think of how awesome it would be to be able to drive out to the barn any time I wanted and ride a horse... MY horse.

So, the questions remain: buy General and keep Obie? Buy General and try to sell Obie? Suck it up and get up the nerve to ride Obie? Lease General?

Did I mention that I hate decisions?
L8rg8r likes this.
    01-18-2014, 01:34 PM
Super Moderator
I think that a horse should be for your pleasure and if you're having to overcome fear then that doesn't sound like pleasure - it sounds like stress and anxiety
I know we've talked this round in circles but if you get pleasure out of riding General then buy him - whether or not you keep Obie is down to finances though if you can find the right home for him I would let him go myself - for what you save in boarding costs if the do want a more challenging horse somewhere along the line you can go out and buy one
    01-18-2014, 04:08 PM
I have Obie listed for sale but had no serious inquiries. Now with his injury... I just don't know if I'll be able to sell him. :( The only inquiries I had on him were people looking for a barrel horse, which he is not (and, to be honest, I'm just not fond of the barrel racing discipline as a whole and don't want him going to a home where that is the primary goal).

I can't really afford to board two horses while Obie continues in training (I'm paying around $380 per month for training, plus $285 for board). Another option I have is to bring Obie to my parents' and put him out to pasture, which seems like a shame. :(

After hubby and I figure out how much income taxes are going to set us back, we plan to make a decision.
L8rg8r likes this.
    01-19-2014, 12:48 PM
Super Moderator
Is he still lame from that injury? If he is turning him out for a while might be a good idea - and you might then sell him better in the summer
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    01-19-2014, 01:39 PM
Originally Posted by jaydee    
I think that a horse should be for your pleasure and if you're having to overcome fear then that doesn't sound like pleasure - it sounds like stress and anxiety
I know we've talked this round in circles but if you get pleasure out of riding General then buy him - whether or not you keep Obie is down to finances though if you can find the right home for him I would let him go myself - for what you save in boarding costs if the do want a more challenging horse somewhere along the line you can go out and buy one

I so agree, I wish that I had sold Ben before I got hurt, because it just wasn't fun anymore. I should have taken notice when my trainer watched me ride my little fast, looky Arab, and said "You have a great big smile on your face, I don't see that when you ride Ben"

I have had to reconsider my horsey future now, not only did the big guy go, but I am also selling the filly that I bred, that was everything that I wanted, whose Sire and Dam I love, who was to be my last horse. Why am I selling her? Because I really don't enjoy the challenge that she gives me, nothing wrong with her, she is going to be everything that I want, I just no longer enjoy the hassle.

My herd now will be 3 gorgeous Arab mares, one who is retired, and her two daughters who I may or may not ride in the future, but I just enjoy having them around, and Gibbs who will be my go to horse.

Riding should be fun, if you enjoy the challenge, if the ups and downs are fun, then keep Obie, but don't feel you have to, life is too short, and my thought is there is probably someone else out there for who this horse will be a perfect partner, no shame in admitting that it isn't you, and letting them go.
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    01-19-2014, 02:55 PM
He's no longer lame but there us scarring, which will probably drop his price. He is a bit stiff when he first gets going, but works out of it quickly.
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L8rg8r likes this.
    01-26-2014, 02:30 PM
I'm a re-rider myself. I'm 47 and I haven't ridden a horse in over 10 years. I understand your pain and fear all too well.

This is my story...

I was a wild child with my horse growing up. Fast wasn't fast enough, jumping in a bareback pad, riding backwards, in shorts and flip flops. I'm amazed I survived.
I didn't ride for 15 years and decided I really needed to have a horse in my life again, so I bought a stunningly beautiful Arab. Dark bay with a long wavy black mane and tail. After struggling with him for about a year, 2 concussions, a broken rib, I decided I had to sell him. But it killed me because he was the horse I always dreamed of having as a child. But logic won out and I sold him to a girl who could get him to do things I never could. She rode dressage and he floated across the ground with her. I then bought an older mare who was very easy to ride and I wasn't scared to ride her at all. She blew out a tendon after 4 years and became a pasture horse. We moved from California to Texas and I shipped her out here because I couldn't think of being without her. A few months after being in Texas, I bought a gorgeous Percheron. I spent months working on ground work and getting a great bond with him. We clicked. I finally rode him in the round pen and he was an angel. The next week he was poisoned by nightshade that was growing in his field and he passed away. I was devastated. He truly was my soul mate.Two days later, my mare came down with the same thing (we had moved them to an area where there were no weeds or grass, just sand) and she survived, but between the poison and all the meds, she was not the same horse. Several months later, she ran through a fence impaled herself on a fence post. Once again, my heart was crushed.
I ended up buying another horse and it turned out she was pregnant, and was a tad green, so I didn't ride her at all. She had the most beautiful foal that I had the privilege to help him being born and he grabbed my heart the first time he looked at me with those big trusting eyes. I worked with him a lot and he was doing really well. When he was 6 months old I received a phone call from my barn owner. He had hurt himself badly. When I got there they held me back from seeing him and told me that he had broken his neck. I started sobbing and went out to be with him. It was horrific. The vet came and said there was nothing that could be done and I had to make the decision to euthanize my baby. In 18 months I had lost 3 horses to horrible deaths. I was done with horses. I gave my mare away to my farrier and couldn't even think of horses without my heart aching.
Five years later, my brother passed away suddenly and the only thing I could think of was the solace a horse has always given me. That I need that again, that peace and calmness whenever I am with a horse. So I found another horse. Everyone who sees her comments on how beautiful she is, she is a 17.2 pure black Percheron. I let my heart lead with her. She has major trust issues, she has some bad habits, and I'm scared to ride her. I will not ride her until we gain trust in each other on the ground and we would make some progress, and then take a step back again.
In fact, in about an hour I have a trainer coming out for our very first session.

I'm so excited. She deserves to be loved...and so do I.

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