All About Indie -- Progress Journal - Page 14

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All About Indie -- Progress Journal

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        11-23-2012, 04:19 PM
    PS, feel free to come back. I miss you more than words can describe and it hasn't quite been 48 hours yet.

    PPS, Laura said I can come exercise her horses whenever I want.. just gotta call and ask. I don't know if and when I'll ever take her up on her offer, but I promise to continue with my weekly lesson although I probably won't go this Tuesday. It won't be the same without you.
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        11-23-2012, 04:29 PM
    Green Broke
    The gravesite looks very nice & it will give you a place to go while you regroup.I know your heart is sad,but you have lots of support here & at your home & barn-I hope you feel better soon & continue riding & keep your heart open for another horse someday that you can forge a new bond with.
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        11-23-2012, 04:40 PM
    Thanks, I hope she likes it. I'm almost excited for spring so that we can plant a bunch of flowers and maybe try to grow grass.. maybe get some nice rocks and make a fence sort of thing.. maybe get a bench. Still so hard to believe she's gone. A woman from the barn got me a card but I think the whole world could send me a sympathy card and I still couldn't believe this.
        11-23-2012, 04:55 PM
    Her resting place is looking nice, Jore. I'm sure she appreciates it. All that blue is very calming.

    Whenever I talk to my mother about our pets she always has to walk away from the conversation because I'm that crazy person who wants to get them far she's only agreed to that for my mouse. *shrugs* That's sort of humorous in a creepy way.

    If you'd like, we can try to make arrangements for that painting to be sent over (I'm vaguely annoyed that I couldn't get the color just perfect). I don't want to seem like too much of a creeper, so I could do a better scan/picture that you could get as a print instead.

    Love always <3
        11-23-2012, 05:04 PM
    Green Broke
    Yep the grave site looks so nice......It just breaks my heart to watch you go though all this.

    How's your mom and dad taking all this?
        11-23-2012, 05:09 PM
    Thanks, I tried getting everything in turquoise/light blue. We have a blue feather pendant hanging from the branch. I was trying to find a dream catcher but I couldn't find one.

    Reno Bay, maybe a scan would work better.. that way no shipping charges and then my mom and I could take it to a printing company and get it blown up as a poster perhaps. I couldn't get the colour just right either, which is why I left mine greyscale.

    Gunslinger, they're taking it better than I am. I don't know about my dad, since he doesn't live with us... but he came over to visit for awhile and messaged me. I didn't really talk to him though, as I'm not really up for talking to anyone lately it seems. I think the hardest part for him is that he knows how much I loved her and I think he secretly was kind of attached to her too. My mom says that her heart breaks for both Indie and I.. she was crying more than I was at one point, but I think I'm still in such disbelief that I spend half my time forgetting that Indie has passed on.

    I found the pictures on my mom's phone today of my hand on Indie's shoulder and just of Indie from that night. I might try posting them at one point, but they upset me too much now. I had her take those two pictures in hopes that they would provide me with some sort of comfort at one point.
        11-23-2012, 07:51 PM
    November 23, 2012

    I've never gone three days without seeing you, Indie. It's been two days now, almost. Tomorrow will be the first Saturday in a long time that I'm not getting up early just to go see you. Excluding two weeks ago when I was at a concert, but I'd give back that experience to have just one more day with you.

    I am sitting curled up on the couch watching Say Yes to the Dress, with your cooler keeping me nice and warm. I don't think I will ever not use it. We were watching The Watch until Rogers decided to malfunction so now we're stuck watching this show, where the bridezilla is on the loose. I think if I ever get married, I will have a turquoise colour palate.

    It's comforting to write to you in here.. even if I'd still love to think I was going to take you on a nice ride tomorrow. Ya know, work on impulsion and try getting that hind end under you. You had a natural way of moving.

    I wondered today about your son, Tucker. I bet he's beautiful just like his mama. Maybe some day, I'll meet him when he's all grown up. When I took you for our first test ride, I remember him prancing around the pasture. He was so full of spirit, just like you, and you were a trooper until the end.

    I wish I had known what was wrong with you so that we maybe could have saved you. You never really showed pain except for the first day of your leg injury. Had I known what was coming, I wouldn't have gotten my knickers in a knot over something so minor.
    I looked at the picture of my hand on your shoulder today, and I hope you felt it. That hand, although scared as could be, was radiating love... just for you. Never in my life did I wish for something more than I did that night. You had tricked me that you'd pull through and as everyone watched the vet check your breathing, I kept insisting you were pulling my leg. I mean, you were always such a goof.

    I don't think I will ever understand why God took you away from me so soon, but I will trust that He will take amazing care of you until we meet again. I hope you loved the decorations we made today, wait until spring, we'll plant flowers and hopefully grow grass. I don't think I will ever be the same, but thank you for teaching me what dedication truly means and how to love without hesitation.

    Love always and forever,
    Your best friend Hayley
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        11-23-2012, 08:57 PM
    Green Broke
    Oh, girl, you bring tears to my eyes. I am so sad for you & your family. I'm glad you have her blanket to warm you & that you are able to put your feelings into a love letter to your horse. You forged such a strong bond in the little time you had her, but you did give her a good life, never doubt that.
        11-23-2012, 09:18 PM
    It helped to write out that little letter, so I think I might try to write one each day.

    Tomorrow is my mom's birthday which I almost forgot about due to all this, so I have to figure that all out and study for math at the same time. I only missed two days, but I'll have to hope Indie helps me catch up and make it through the school day. I know she will though.

    I still am struggling to accept this though.
    Posted via Mobile Device
        11-23-2012, 09:58 PM
    I used to always get anxious while outside in the dark, but tonight... not so much. I just reminded myself that I have a guardian angel to call my own, as much as I'd prefer her to still be here.
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