All About Indie -- Progress Journal - Page 34
   

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All About Indie -- Progress Journal

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        02-04-2013, 07:00 AM
      #331
    Yearling
    The Saturday was just a makeup day because there had been a storm on Wednesday so the lesson was cancelled. I go tomorrow and Wednesday though and I'll be riding Roger unless he is in another bad mood. But, maybe on Wednesday, I could ask for a lesson on lungeing/groundwork with him so that if I came down on the weekend, I'd be more comfortable with it. I get more comfortable riding him each time though, although at times, I still get kind of nervous. I'm still getting used to his personality. With Indie, her response to too much leg was go faster (although we fixed that with time) instead of kick out and grind her teeth like Roger. He'll learn though. :)
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        02-04-2013, 10:18 AM
      #332
    Green Broke
    He's telling you what I keep telling you, girl......I'm not half as straight forward as he is, tho
         
        02-05-2013, 07:43 PM
      #333
    Yearling
    I took everyone's advice and brought Roger a carrot (we didn't have any apples). We ended up having a barn lesson but I gave it to him anyways after telling him that it was my attempt at bribery. :P Before our lesson, we all groomed Zoey, the pasture pony who was in some major need of TLC. We braided up her tail and I braided her forelock, trimmed a bridle path and trimmed up her mane. She looked so much better!

    Also, does anyone believe in spirits and meanings behind dreams?

    Indie was in the last part of my dream last night. I was at the barn with friends and Indie had recently died, but when I peeked into the very last stall on the right... there she was. But, honestly, she almost looked like a zombie horse. She had two stall bandages on and was super underweight, and just looked so sickly. I told my mom to call the vet because I knew she needed to be put down and that's what would be best for her.

    Before the vet came, I brought her out and fed her mushed apples/carrots and walked her around. Weirdly enough, when I looked back in the dream, she looked perfect. Shiny chestnut coat, healthy weight and alert eyes. Before I woke up from the dream, the vet had arrived and we were going to talk about what was best for her.

    I feel like I've just been carrying so much regret and guilt over that night. I feel guilty about not bringing her an apple, I feel guilty about hoping she'd make it and not making the decision of putting her down to save her from the panic as she reared up and toppled over, I feel so guilty about just hoping she'd make it because if I knew what would've happened, I'd have handled the situation so differently. I'd have gotten my mom to wipe her nose while I groomed her one last time, gave her an apple and just hugged her once more. And I'd have sat there with her as the vet put her down, because I feel like it would've been much more calm without the panic and shock of rearing up and her legs giving out like that.

    I wonder if animal psychics are the real deal though... I'd love to some day talk or meet with one, just to hear that Indie knew I loved her and that she forgives me.
         
        02-07-2013, 12:19 PM
      #334
    Yearling
    Oh, honey. I am so sorry. I have been away for the last couple months and had no idea Indie was gone. I thought about her frequently though since she was a favorite horse of mine on this forum. Out of all the journals, I only read Indie's.

    I tried looking around to see exactly what happened but I haven't found a thread yet that explained how she went (unless I am missing something...which I probably am).

    She was such a special horse. I could feel it all the way over here on my side of the screen and I celebrated every progression and rooted for you two. I'm devistated that she is no longer with us.

    I don't know what happened, but I can tell you my idea about your dream. In your dream, Indie was ill and you found her and showed her a kindness. She thanks you for that and is very happy to have been your horse. Zombie horse turning into a beautiful horse after a treat from your hand is a transformation for good because you showed her love.

    That dream tells me that she hasn't forgotten you and she wants you to feel better about what happened. She's not hurting anymore (zombie transformed into beauty) and she is still with you.

    It also sends another message. She was a zombie horse when you got there. You looked back after giving her a treat and leading her, and she was beautiful. She's telling you that YOU were the key factor in bringing her life when you were around her, and that she trusted you fully in knowing what was best for her. When she was around you, she was her true beautiful self and you saw that beauty, regardless of what anyone else said about her.

    Please don't feel too guilty. We never know what will happen in life and often have regrets over not doing something differently when we couldn't have known the outcome.

    I believe animal psychics are real. If it gives you any peace of mind, it would be worth looking into.
         
        02-08-2013, 05:19 PM
      #335
    Yearling
    Thank you so much for your reply, Copperhead, it truly does mean a lot. I appreciate all the support and advice I have gotten here more than words can describe.

    The analysis of my dream brought more than a few tears to my eyes. I know my instructor told me she was incredibly proud of how well I took care of her and said I gave Indie the best few months of her life, which I hope I did, because when it comes down to it... she was going to die that night no matter where she was, and I'm glad she spent those months being loved unconditionally rather than just sitting in a muddy, grass-less pasture.

    As for what happened to her, here is the thread I posted before heading to the barn after going to my lesson to find her on IV fluids getting her nose wiped from the blood:

    http://www.horseforum.com/horse-heal...r-baby-144276/

    She really was so special, and I can't emphasize that enough when I talk about her. Sometimes I bring her up at lessons but usually it's just a small thing and I stop before the water works start. There was just so much trust. I'm sure had we waited for spring and for her to put even more weight on, she'd have been more energetic... but she was so quiet, and even after her week off following a leg injury, I felt completely safe getting on her and walking/trotting her around. On any other horse, I'd have insisted on lungeing them just in case, considering the horses were no longer outside 24/7.

    I guess it was almost ironic in a way, I was so upset over her leg... and after people started suggesting cellulitis, I was completely freaking out. But in retrospect, I would've taken anything over what happened. Even if she was only able to be a pasture ornament, I'd still have been happy although I know I would've been upset.

    I think in general, the comforts outweight the regrets, because I know I did my best to take care of her. I was down there at least four to five days a week, I spent usually five to six hours each Saturday/Sunday riding/grooming/doing a "spa" session with the full forelock/tail braiding and trimming, etc. I spent the week leading up to her death at the barn, wrapping her legs and cold hosing them and making sure she had a whole big bunch of hay to eat for when I left an hour or so later. I always fed her half an apple after a ride, and I always rewarded her for the simplest little things. (stand still for the farrier = apple, pick up correct lead at canter = ginormous rub on neck and walk break)

    I try my hardest not to forget exactly what she looked like, I can still remember every little detail about her almost. How some of her little hives at the top of her neck had yet to go away, the pin firing marks on her two fronts legs (although the right leg wasn't missing as much hair), the two splints on her front legs (and the one on the left leg was a bit lower and not as far back)... her feminine face... how her tail was almost black aside from the faded red top... her crooked stripe going down her face... the scabs around her hind pasterns that I was applying diaper rash cream too (it was working too!)... her perfect mane that always laid to the right and was nice and silky.

    I remember how she looked when she first came to the barn... covered in hives, didn't have too much life in her eyes, had rusty steel shoes (were replaced with nice aluminum ones to benefit her joints) and had a slightly dull coat. She basically did a 180 and I was so excited for her to put on weight and for spring to come so that she could get rid of her winter woolies and show everyone at the barn how far she had come. She was such a smart horse and quick learner.

    I remember the farrier loved her. After he did her feet, he said "I was once told to always be careful when doing a Thoroughbred's feet for the first time, and I am pleasantly surprised with how well-behaved she was". A man who was into Standardbreds and was sending a couple down to Ontario even stopped by and complimented her calm demeanor and commented on her resemblance to Secretariat.
         
        03-29-2013, 09:58 AM
      #336
    Yearling
    I decided I'd post a quick update for everyone.

    School-wise, I am doing really good... I think my average this term is a little bit over 90.

    I got my driver's license and we just picked up my new car yesterday night.

    Horse-wise, I still take two lessons a week and I still am planning on getting another horse some day.
    gunslinger likes this.
         
        03-29-2013, 10:16 AM
      #337
    Green Broke
    I was wondering where you were
    Wow, driver's licence AND car. You got it going on
    Good to hear you're still taking lessons, what's the progress? Fill us in, please!!
         
        03-29-2013, 10:27 AM
      #338
    Green Broke
    Thanks for the update. Glad that your grades are good & happy to hear you have your license & a car! Pretty exciting stuff! Also, I'm happy to know that you are continuing w/your lessons & having time at the barn. Is Roger doing better for you?
         
        03-29-2013, 04:05 PM
      #339
    Yearling
    Yes, life is going a lot better! I will be honest and say I still shed a tear of Indie, but I've realized that basically, life goes on and I know Indie would be happy to know that I'm doing well. :) I'm finally able to drive myself places without having to borrow my mom's car so that's a plus, my instructor was pretty excited when I pulled in with it.

    I haven't been riding Roger lately because my instructor is in the midst of finding a good farrier for him because his feet aren't too great lately. I've been riding Major the last month or so, and he's going well... very out of shape but he's still a star. He showed us how out of shape he really was this afternoon because after only an hour, he was completely out of breath and you could see his pulse easily. He also forgot how to pick up his feet today and tripped... he was able to lift himself back up though thankfully and I only twisted my back a little trying to keep my balance so he could.

    My position has improved though, I'm concentrating more on myself and less on Major... because he doesn't need to many "touch ups" because he's an easy ride for me. Definitely reason to see if I'll be able to work with Roger for maybe one of my lessons. It'd give me a nice balance between a "relaxation ride" and a "you have to work now ride".

    I basically have my next few years of life planned out too. I'm going to get my undergraduate degree in psychology (might study criminal justice/psychology somewhat as well) within the province and live in residence for one year then move in with my dad, because he's going to be buying a house in that area this year. Then, I am wanting to work towards a Ph.D in Ontario. I think psychology would kill two birds with one stone for me, 1) I find it so incredibly interesting and 2) psychologists make a pretty good salary. Plus, my mom has her Master's in Counseling Psychology and she always said her dad wanted her to be a doctor of some sort.

    No horse in the near future, but I've accepted that, and my dad said that when the time comes to get another, he'll help me out with it. Still intending on an OTTB and will hopefully find a nice barn in Ontario.

    Oh, forgot to add about Roger. A well-known instructor in Ontario actually displayed interest in him for one of his students looking to upgrade from a pony. I don't know if it is going to work out or not, because the girl is very attached to her pony, but the trainer and her parents want her to move onto the bigger jumping circuit. They were basically going to trade her $25 000 pony for Roger if they ended up going through with it, but I couldn't blame the girl if she wasn't ready to "upgrade". It just seems like such a bad word choice for something like that, since horses aren't comparable to a car because you form such a bond.
         
        03-29-2013, 10:06 PM
      #340
    Started
    It's great to hear you're doing well. My 18 year old Nissan finally got to the point where I needed another car myself.....bought a 2013 Nissan Altima yesterday....hated to spend the money and I agonized over new or used and finally decided.....used, but with only 4,000 miles....

    So Roger's worth $25,000.....interesting....I knew he as a jewel in the rough.....I'm pretty sure in a few short years, you'll be rolling in dough and own a pasture full of horses......keep studying, focus on what you want, and go get it.
    deserthorsewoman likes this.
         

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