Thank you so much for your reply, Copperhead, it truly does mean a lot. I appreciate all the support and advice I have gotten here more than words can describe.
The analysis of my dream brought more than a few tears to my eyes. I know my instructor told me she was incredibly proud of how well I took care of her and said I gave Indie the best few months of her life, which I hope I did, because when it comes down to it... she was going to die that night no matter where she was, and I'm glad she spent those months being loved unconditionally rather than just sitting in a muddy, grass-less pasture.
As for what happened to her, here is the thread I posted before heading to the barn after going to my lesson to find her on IV fluids getting her nose wiped from the blood: http://www.horseforum.com/horse-heal...r-baby-144276/
She really was so special, and I can't emphasize that enough when I talk about her. Sometimes I bring her up at lessons but usually it's just a small thing and I stop before the water works start. There was just so much trust. I'm sure had we waited for spring and for her to put even more weight on, she'd have been more energetic... but she was so
quiet, and even after her week off following a leg injury, I felt completely safe getting on her and walking/trotting her around. On any other horse, I'd have insisted on lungeing them just in case, considering the horses were no longer outside 24/7.
I guess it was almost ironic in a way, I was so upset over her leg... and after people started suggesting cellulitis, I was completely freaking out. But in retrospect, I would've taken anything over what happened. Even if she was only able to be a pasture ornament, I'd still have been happy although I know I would've been upset.
I think in general, the comforts outweight the regrets, because I know I did my best to take care of her. I was down there at least four to five days a week, I spent usually five to six hours each Saturday/Sunday riding/grooming/doing a "spa" session with the full forelock/tail braiding and trimming, etc. I spent the week leading up to her death at the barn, wrapping her legs and cold hosing them and making sure she had a whole big bunch of hay to eat for when I left an hour or so later. I always fed her half an apple after a ride, and I always rewarded her for the simplest little things. (stand still for the farrier = apple, pick up correct lead at canter = ginormous rub on neck and walk break)
I try my hardest not to forget exactly what she looked like, I can still remember every little detail about her almost. How some of her little hives at the top of her neck had yet to go away, the pin firing marks on her two fronts legs (although the right leg wasn't missing as much hair), the two splints on her front legs (and the one on the left leg was a bit lower and not as far back)... her feminine face... how her tail was almost black aside from the faded red top... her crooked stripe going down her face... the scabs around her hind pasterns that I was applying diaper rash cream too (it was working too!)... her perfect mane that always laid to the right and was nice and silky.
I remember how she looked when she first came to the barn... covered in hives, didn't have too much life in her eyes, had rusty steel shoes (were replaced with nice aluminum ones to benefit her joints) and had a slightly dull coat. She basically did a 180 and I was so excited for her to put on weight and for spring to come so that she could get rid of her winter woolies and show everyone at the barn how far she had come. She was such a smart horse and quick learner.
I remember the farrier loved her. After he did her feet, he said "I was once told to always be careful when doing a Thoroughbred's feet for the first time, and I am pleasantly surprised with how well-behaved she was". A man who was into Standardbreds and was sending a couple down to Ontario even stopped by and complimented her calm demeanor and commented on her resemblance to Secretariat.