For whatever reason I happened to pop in here today and I just want you to know that I can SO relate to the feeling of inviting everyone to do things...and never getting invited yourself.
The same thing has happened to me my entire life and, at age 23, continues to happen. I don't know what to say that'll make it feel better and I don't know how to solve it either.
The one thing I've found that makes me feel better about it is to look at how people respond to invitations or how they reciprocate our friendship, if that makes sense. I've found that if someone seems standoffish about hanging out, it doesn't necessarily mean they don't like ME.
I've found that, for one of my closest friends, the fact that he'll ALWAYS text me back, no matter what, is much bigger than the fact that he seems to 'avoid' one on one or even group time if it doesn't have a 'real' purpose. He goes out of his way to make sure I always feel cared about, even if he doesn't really have the time. After nearly 3 years of friendship, we've gotten to the point of 'hanging out' for 5 minutes every week or so when we happen to cross paths...but getting time outside that would be unlikely. Time in the form of texts and letters though, YES.
For another of my closest friends, she's always ready to hear it if I need someone to talk to. She'll listen to me moan about everything, then take the time to talk with me until I cheer up. She'll spend hours crafting letters and texts that she knows will cheer my heart. She knows some of my deepest hurts and loves me for it. I know I could tell her anything and she wouldn't be shocked, she'd love me more. I could invite her to do things allll day and she would never be able to do anything with me. But I know she cares.
I only have one friend that will actually hang out with me whenever I want to hang out. But you know what? I actually sort of end up dreading spending time with her because she wants to just discuss superficial things and complain, without any kind of hope for a better future.
I've learned to judge my friends by the effort they put into our relationship, besides the "hanging out" stuff. I learned that while hanging out is a huge deal to me, to others it's those texts, or a "hey you look lonely, can I sit with you?", or a really thoughtful post on your Facebook wall. To someone where hanging out doesn't 'matter', it doesn't even cross their mind that we might be hurt to not be invited or that we might like to be invited! Even once they know us well.
Anyway, all I'm saying is hang in there. And take a look at the people around you. Who IS that person who came to sit with you? Who's making an effort, any effort, to be there for you? Get to know those people.
And don't be afraid to 'invite yourself'! I mean, be polite, of course, but don't be afraid to share that you'd like to be invited. I know for myself, most of my friends know I don't like to be out late or for more than a couple of hours so they just don't invite me to go out after things. If I would like to go out, I say something like "oh hey, are you going to ___? I'd like to come along sometime!" before they go and I'll often find myself invited along.
It seems that my introverted desire for quiet-time can't coincide with "hanging out" inside the brains of many of my friends. Therefore, it's important to let them know that I DO want to hang out sometimes.
Hang in there. I can count on one hand the times someone, who I wanted to invite my somewhere, actually has invited me somewhere. I can't say it ever feels better to not be invited but remember to count the little things. Often the little things count for more than the big ones do.
And sorry for how long this is. I'm overly wordy allll the time and I was hoping to make you feel less alone = so.many.words...
I hope tomorrow is better.