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    02-05-2011, 06:16 PM
I am so very tired and stressed right now. My wrist is not getting any better. I'm pretty sure this is going on 2 months now that it's been bothering me this time. Far longer than it's ever lasted before. I'm the only one who thinks this is a problem (well, my friends think it's a problem but they can't do anthing about it). My parents keep saying just give it time it will heal. Well, no actually, it won't heal because in order for tendonitis to heal you have to rest the area completely for 3 weeks, at least. And there is absolutly nothing about my life that will allow me to not use my wrist for 3 weeks. Maybe it would be a little more possible if it were my non dominant hand, but alas this is not the case. Even if it was, that wouldn't allow for complete rest, just slightly more than my right wrist. Someone suggested I get a cortizone shot. I didn;t knwo if that would help or not becasue I thought that was just for arthritis. My sister told me it is for inflamation in general and that it would help with the pain but wouldn't make it heal. Well, 2 things: one, it's cronic tendonitis. It's never going away. It might stop hurting for awhile, but it will always be there just waiting to flare up again. Two, since it will never go away completely and I can't rest to allow it to heal anyway, wouldn't you think the next best option would be to try and make it less painful for me? I think it would be. I think that's a fantastic option. But my parents (who are in charge of whether or not I go to the doctor since it's their insurance and whatnot) think it's fine. Just suck it up and it will go away eventually. It's getting WORSE people!!! As in the opposite of going away!!! So maybe you should help me do something about it before it's too late and I have to have surgery on my freaking wrist!!! Then I will really be screwed.

Apparently Lucas reared in the isle the other day and almost kicked someone in the head. This is because my friend's mom thinks she knows enough to handle him. On a good day this may be true, if Lucas is on his very best behavior. When he has been on more than a month of stall rest, this is not true. He also knows he can get away with things because she can't handle him. He never pulls that crap with me or anyone else at the barn who handles him. Also, my friend's mom decided to call the vet and ask if I could start riding him a bit. I don't know what she said to the vet, but she sure as hell didn't tell her the truth. I got a voice mail from friend's mom saying the vet said I could ride him for 15 mins a day, with a nice long walk to warm up and then I could trot him down the long sides of the arena. Now, last time I talked to friend's mom I told her that I didn't feel any heat in Lucas' leg AT THAT MOMENT. That it had still been a bit warm that morning and the previous day, etc. She asked if she could tell the vet that there was no heat anymore. I said you can tell her that there was no heat Monday evening but that there was some Monday morning and that we don;t know for sure that it will be staying cool as this is the frist time there's been no heat. I think if the vet had gotten all of that info, she wouldn't have ok-ed riding him. I'm going to give the vet a call and ask if that's the info she got and if she still thinks it is fine to ride him. She is coming on the 16th to do spring shots so she will look at him then. I'm not hopeful for a good outcome. There was still quite a bit of heat today.

I need a third job. I don't really want a third job. It's going to be a huge PITA. I'm tired when I finally finish classes and working my two other jobs. Yeah I get home around 3:30-4ish, but I've been up since 6 with absolutly no break. I barely have time to eat. I've got 15 mins between classes so I can eat then. But that's it. I don't have time to go buy food so it has to be whatever I can bring with me. And even though there is a microwave near by, by the time I'm done standing in the line to use it and cook whatever I won't have time to eat it all. And sometimes that line is so long I wouldn't have time to eat at all. I really hate that they made the rule that you can't eat in class anymore. And that teachers are listening to it. So, I have breakfast around 7, then I get whatever I can eat in 15 minutes, and that's it til 3. At the earliest. If I get another job who knows when I'll be able to eat. Of course, I don't necessarily need another job. But I would really love to show this summer so I would need it for the money to show. I could always not show. But that would suck. I'm really getting into it so I'd llike to be able to keep going. Plus, I really don't make very good money write now. I'll have to do the math and see if I'm even making enough to cover gas. I wouldn't be suprised if I'm not. Life really kind of sucks right now.
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    02-05-2011, 10:53 PM
You've found yourself another fan... :)
I've been reading from post one for about an hour now! I hope your wrist manages to feel better (I know, not really possible because it's chronic, but all the same). I hope all works out with money. I'm actaully super impressed with you! School, 2 jobs and a horse! Wow!
Keep your head up, things will get better! :)
    02-24-2011, 07:13 AM
Originally Posted by AislingxXx1234    
You've found yourself another fan... :)
I've been reading from post one for about an hour now! I hope your wrist manages to feel better (I know, not really possible because it's chronic, but all the same). I hope all works out with money. I'm actaully super impressed with you! School, 2 jobs and a horse! Wow!
Keep your head up, things will get better! :)
Haha thanks! I actually feel like no one reads this and it's just here for me to vent. My life seems pretty boring to me lol. My wrist is doing pretty ok at the moment. I managing without the brace but it's still sore being moved certain ways. I'm learning to work around it.

So, Lucas is leaving. I'm sad to say it didn't really come as a shock. Because that's just the kind of people his owners are. They decide to move him and not tell me and when I do find out, I'm not even suprised. I got to the barn a few weeks ago and my trainer asks if I have anything to tell her (in a way that suggests I should have something to tell her). I said no so she asks if I knew Lucas was being moved. She figured since I hadn't mentioned it, I didn't know. And I didn't. I saw my "friend's" mom later that week and she high-tailed it out of there without saying anything to me. I unfriended my "friend" on facebook and so she messaged me asking if it was because Lucas was moving. Said she didn't know a thing about it, it was all her mom's idea. Blah blah blah. I'm done with it. To much drama and crap that I don't need. In a way, I'm happy this happened. I could see this was going no where good. They gave me an easy out, spared me from having to sit them down and say I wouldn't be leasing him anymore. Anyways, the whole thing is just done. He leaves on Sunday. Although, considering they didn't have the money to move him to my barn in the first place I don't know how they think they're goning to get him out of there... we'll see I guess. He's supposed to be leaving on Sunday.

I'm still in need of a third job. I'm going to be showing wiht my barn this summer and it's expensive so I need another job to pay for it. Truth be told, I need a better paying job than the one that I have, so if I find something better I might just drop the dog walking once I've paid for the shows. It really doesn't pay well enough for what I need. Plus I've gotten 2 tickets since I started working there. It's the area that it's in. They're super ticket-happy. The only tickets I've ever gotten in my life! Very annoying. I hate job hunting...

I had a show this past weekend. I got ribbons in all my classes. In that one show I doubled the amount of ribbons I've gotten for the entire season. So that was good. I don;t have a whole lot to say right now. The big thing was Lucas leaving. And I'm really excited to show this summer. I'm supposed to be writing a paper for class that I have in a few hours. I've been up all night not writing it... Sometimes I really fail at life.
    02-24-2011, 09:03 PM
I read through this whole thread today, so you can count me as another person reading this!
    02-26-2011, 03:23 AM
Originally Posted by Cinder    
I read through this whole thread today, so you can count me as another person reading this!
Thanks! It's always nice to know people are interested in what I have to say.

I have been having some really great rides lately. I don't think anything particularly good has been happening... I've just been feeling really good about ridingthis past week. Which is really awesome. I have a lesson tomorrow and I'm so excited for it. Not that I'm not usually excited to ride, but now it's just so much more. A girl I'm friends with at my barn went on vacation this past weel and asked if I would ride her horse for her while she was gone. I was happy to do it. With Lucas leaving I'm only getting to ride twice a week, so any oppurtunity to do more is great. Her horse is pretty fun too. He's a little green but he really wants to be good. I really like him. And every day I rode him I could feel things getting a little better. I know some of it was me getting used to him and figuring him out. I'd ridden him a couple times before in lessons, but it's different when you don't have someone telling you what to do. The last 2 times I rode him we got this beautiful canter going. It's the best I've ever felt him go. I think those rides on him have a lot to do with how good I've been feeling. And I got to ride my favorite horse last night and had a fun lesson with some of my favorite people. I feel like I don't usually post much positive stuff here. But right now I don't have anything negative to say. It's a good feeling!
    03-29-2011, 07:18 PM
Oh let's see... What has been going on lately...

I dropped all of my classes and am taking the rest of the semester off. I don't really want to go into reasons right now. It's a very emotional subject and I don't feel like crying over it today. So, no school right now. I got another job so that makes 3. I'm considering taking on another but I haven't called the woman back about it so I don't know if I will do that. It would probably be a good idea. I could use the money and then I might be able to drop the dog walking since I am really not enjoying that very much. It seems like it would be an ok job but it is actually very stressful. The dogs need to be walked in a certain time frame so there is no time to sit for a minute and just breathe. It only takes about 3 hours for me to do all my walks but during those 3 hours it's go, go, go and it's extremely tiring. Plus, I have a hard time telling people no, so my boss keeps piling all these new walks on my and I can't tell her I've got enough, I don't want any more walks. So I would really like to be able to quit the walking if at all possible. It would be possible if I persued the possible new job. But I'm having the hardest tiem calling the woman back. I guess the thought of having 4 jobs for any period of time is freaking me out. And I would need to overlap them so there'd be at least a month where I'm working 4. On the plus side, I am working at my vet's office as a receptionist and I'm really enjoying that. It's always interesting because you get different peopel coming in every day. There's also a bit of down time so I can get some reading done which I have not had time to do lately. So that's the situation with work right now.

Some sad news. I am 99% certain that Lucas was put down. I had decided to unfriend his owner on FB since her behavior had shown we clearly weren't friends and I didn't need her drama in my life. But there were some pictures of mine she had commented on before I deleted her so yesterday I clicked on her profile out of curiosity. I wanted to see if she had anything about how Lucas was doing. Well her status from a few days ago was saying good bye to him. There is a very small and unlikely chance that they sold him, but being that it is so small and unlikely, I'm guessing they had him put down. It's sad to know, but they really didn't have any other option. I had been expecting that that might be the outcome of all of this. But still sad.

On another sad note, my best friend's dog had a tumor removed from her face yesterday. There's been no biopsy yet (at least, I haven't heard the results yet) but the vet did not sound at all optomistic. This is a really bad situation. My friend loves that dog so much. They've only had her for about a year (she's only a year old). I told them a while back that they should start saving money in case anything happens to her. She is a Newfoundland so she's likely to have the problems that big dogs do at some point in life. I told them to start saving because one of my dogs died of bloat (we had him put down because it wasn't going to be fixable) and the whole thing was so expensive. My friend doesn't have any savings; she and her bf live paycheck to paycheck. I wanted her to have something put away for Lola in case she bloated or something. Well she didn't listen to me and now they're trying to get donations from people to pay for having to tumor removed. Unless the thing was just some weird benign growth, they aren't going to be able to afford whatever treatment she is going to need. I really hope it turns out to be nothing, but the thing was hard as a rock and based on some brief reseach I did, that means cancer. One of my other friends is also thinking about getting a German Shepard puppy (one of her friend's is trying to sell it to her and her husband) who has the exact same lump on her face. I told my friend to tell the guy he should just give them the puppy because whoever gets her is likely getting some large vet bills so no one is going to be paying him for her (he wants $300 for the puppy). I really hope everything works out ok for both dogs.

Riding is going well still. I've been having really good lessons lately. I got my own saddle. I'm going to be doing more shows this summer. The first one is actually less than 3 weeks away so I'm a little nervous for that. But the winter season went well so I'm trying to think positive thoughts. Not much to say on that front. The picture below is all the ribbons I got for the winter. The champion ribbon is because my barns team got the most points at the finale show so that one wasn't me alone. Not bad for my first ever show season.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg P3220259.jpg (55.2 KB, 78 views)
    04-04-2011, 10:30 PM
OMG I can't believe they put lucas downthat really sux .. I wanna punch that mom poor Lucas :(( 4 jobs dear Lord its hard trying to find 1 where I live seems like your wrist is getting better yes? Nice Ribbons I think it amazing for your first season!!! :))
    06-19-2011, 03:32 PM
Well it certainly has been a while since I've updated this. I go through periods of time where I find it difficult to write. I'm not feeling very up for it at the moment but I feel like my llife might be a little more organized and clear if I write down what's going on.

I'll start with riding because I have the least to say about it. Things have been going pretty well. I've been showing this summer and doing pretty well. Got my first blue ribbon ever last Sunday. I was a little in shock, I didn't really realize they'd called my number at first. Lessons have been kind of iffy. I'll have good days and bad days. My last lesson was really great. The one before that, not so much. I really don't know what is going on. I feel a little like it's luck when I do well, not skill as a rider. Maybe it's just I'm tired and stressed most of the time. I'm spreading myself pretty thin and still being asked for more so I guess it's easy to see why things don't go well very often. But shows are always some of my better rides so that is a plus.

On the subject of being spread thin, I still have three jobs. I only really enjoy one, and I only enjoy it some of the time. I'm not complaining though. I know I'm lucky to have a job I enjoy at all. Still, three part-time jobs is not working out. No one respects my need for time off because I'm only part time at all of my jobs. But if you add all the hours worked at all my jobs it equals full-time. The scheduling is ridiculous. Most days I'm left with an hour here or there that I'm free. Not enough time to actually get anything done because by the time I drive home and get something to eat (if I'm lucky enough to have time to eat) it's time to drive off to another job.

The only free time I really have is at the end of the day. By then I am exhausted. It's usually around 8. At that point I go to my boyfriend's and have dinner and hang out with him. People think I spend too much time with him, which is another source of stress. Friends have said I stopped hanging out with them to be with him. One, I stopped hanging out with them when I started job number three (which happened around the same time we started dating so I can kind of see how it would look that way). Two, they live about an hour away from me, over an hour from any of my jobs. After working all day and getting off at 8, I don't want to do anything but chill. I don't want to drive for forever and a day to hang out for an hour before whoever I'm with decides they want to go to bed. Then I have to drive an hour back home, go to bed super late, and get up and do it all over again. It's some much easier and stress-free to drive 25 minutes to my boyfriend's place (same amount of time it would take to get home) and relax for a bit before heading to bed. But apparently all of that is hard to understand and therefore I have been labled anti-social and am being viewed as one of those girls who dumps her friends for a guy. I get one day off a week, none if I have a show. I'm sorry it's the one day you aren't avaible to hang out. I've seen my best friend once in the last 2 months. Thankfully she is a true best friend and doesn't give me crap for being busy. And she is happy that I've found someone who makes me happy.

That part kind of went in a different direction than I intended. Back on track. I'm on the job hunt again. I want ONE job. Something full-time. The pay doesn't have to be fantastic so long as they offer benefits. My major concern has always been being able to get insurance when I some day move out. I've kept thinking I was going to continue on with school and that I'd be at home for a while. Now I just want to get out of here. I'm never home because I'm working but for some reason my mom thinks I have all this free time to do stuff for her. She actually laughed the other day when I said I don't have any free time. She wants me to clean my room. Well I work on it but sorry I don't have time to get it done in your time frame. She wants help with stuff. Ok I'm here, lets do it. But no, she doesn't want to right now. We'll do it later. Well guess what? I won't be here later to do it. So I want to do it now. I'll even do it myself. No, no. It's a two person job. I couldn't possibly do it alone. So now it won't get done and I'll get yelled at for not being around to help do it. And when I don't have time to do things for her, it's because I'm with my boyfriend too much. No. I am not coming home from a long day of work, only to do more work for you. So even if I wasn't with him, I would be doing the same stuff anyway. Eating, relaxing, sleeping. I will get things done but it's going to be on my time table because I am busy.

I need a vacation. I feel like I'm always saying that. But I never get an actual vacation. Sure I get family vacation which is nice and fun and whatnot. But two weeks of painful sleep on crappy hotel mattresses, getting up at the crack of dawn to go hiking and snorkling everyday, living out of a suitcase... this is not anywhere near my definition of relaxing. At this point I'll settle for slightly less stressful. Which is why I want a plain old 9-5 Monday-Friday job.

That's all for now. I was hoping to make a nice cheesecake for my dad for Father's Day but apparently I should be cleaning my room instead.
    09-28-2011, 11:38 PM
Not sure if anyone still reads this but I have things to say that probably aren't worth starting a thread over. So I shall write them here.

If anyone has seen my most resent thread you know I have recently been on the barn hunt. My old barn has become a really unpleasant place to be. I don't really want to get into any of the reasons why. I'm trying to put that all behind me and start new somewhere else. So I was hunting for a new barn. I checked out my options and found few because of where I'm living. I wanted something 20 miles or less away from me. I found 2 and visited them both. The first was a barn I rode at when I was younger. I had mixed feelings about possibly going back there based on things that happened when I was there before. I was trying to keep an open mind because it is the closest barn to me so I really wanted to like it there. But after visiting I was left feeling like I would have the same issues as before. After a little more searching I found my second option. I visited, had a lesson, and decided that I would sign up for lessons there. I've only had two lessons there so far so I'm still not 100% on how I feel about the place. It's an eventing barn which I am fine with. I've been doing hunters but I don't really prefer one over the other so I have no problem with the switch. Other than that I'm still on the fence about the place. It seems well run, much better than my old barn. But I still don't know. Looking back, I maybe should've signed up for only a month of lessons instead of the 13 week semester. I just didn't think I would find anything else. I searched a lot and hadn't found anything else. I thought this was really my only option.

Yesterday I text from a friend saying she thinks she found a barn for me. She tells me that woman she works with rides at this barn and really likes it. She tells me the name and that I should google it. It's a place I've heard of but never looked int for several reasons. One of them being that my old trainer sort of bad mouthed the place, which I now realize shouldn't have been a reason. Another reason is that when I did my searches they didn't come up in any of my results so they didn't cross my mind as a potential. I decided to look them up at least so that I could tell my friend I had checked them out. I kind of wish I hadn't because the place looks great. It's closer and cheaper than the barn I am at now and my old barn. And from the website it looks really nice. So now I'm committed to 13 weeks at my current barn when I might want to switch to this other place. I emailed to set up a time to go watch some lessons and see the place. Maybe it won't look as good in person as it does on paper. But I doubt it. On the plus side, since they are so cheap I might be able to afford lessons there while I'm still at the current place.
    09-29-2011, 08:05 AM
Boy oh boy, things sure can't be simple for you can they?

Are you going to go to the new place soon? I hope so because it sounds good and like switching to it eventually would let you have less stress in your life. And though it may not seem like it now and I personally doubt it because of your experience there, your old barn may seem very good suddenly when you're trying to get acclimated to the new place. Don't let the temptation get to you and give yourself time to get situated.

Also remember to take a day off every now and then. Your body needs rest and a day of regular, filling foods. The world will not stop turning. Your bosses will probably not fire you (come up with an excuse if you need to). I'm not saying this because I'm a rebel and I think it would be fun for you or something like that, I'm saying it because I think it's important for your health, especially for you personally at this time. A day or two off would give your body time to rest up, time to heal, and help you get less frustrated. If you keep going like this nothing is going to change. Take it from someone who knows- one person can only do so much.

I hope the barn hunt goes well and I hope you get ONE, REGULAR job!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

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