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Best Days with Sky!

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        06-14-2012, 05:53 PM
      #131
    Green Broke
    Sky,

    You get up in the morning, look in the mirror, and decide if you're going to be happy or sad.

    Ever think about maybe it's time to leave the nest and make a life of your own? Not sure how old you are, but if you're unhappy with living where you are then do you have other options?

    I still think your a bit home sick.

    Hang in there young lady, this to will work it's self out.
    RunSlideStop likes this.
         
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        06-15-2012, 01:09 AM
      #132
    Showing
    This is going to be the biggest rant I've ever thrown.

    I can't drop this degree, my parents would kill me and I'd kill my chance at a good job in the states. That's what hurts the most. God I'd drop it all to go clean stalls at a horse barn all day, even if it kills my back.

    I hate feeling like this, I hate pity, I hate being stuck. It's so frustrating not being able to DO anything about it. Waiting for this job to start.. I wanted to ask the ambassador of NZ if I would be allowed to volunteer and perhaps work but my parents said "Nope we aren't giving you permission because you'll get taxed for working here"

    Well no ****ing ****, Sherlock. But at least I'd be able to DO something, LEARN something. Be useful!

    Life how I want it: Just me and Sky, in the middle of nowhere, seeing him every morning, working my ass off till 5pm at a job, coming home and spending time with him. Maybe another little horse so he's not lonely. But that sounds so blissful to me.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by gunslinger    
    Sky,

    You get up in the morning, look in the mirror, and decide if you're going to be happy or sad.

    Ever think about maybe it's time to leave the nest and make a life of your own? Not sure how old you are, but if you're unhappy with living where you are then do you have other options?

    I still think your a bit home sick.

    Hang in there young lady, this to will work it's self out.
    I am terribly home sick and the bold sentence I have been trying since I turned 18. I've been trying so hard to move out, my parents won't let me. I don't make enough to make it without falling on my ass. I worked two jobs and nearly made it but then my friend who I was going to move out with up and moved states, the other one decided she was happy living with her dad so I got dragged along.

    I try to choose happy, I really do. But it's very hard, and I hate living like this.

    When I get back I can get a better job now because of my security clearance alone, plus my experience and progress with my degree.. so I'm worth more. But honestly I just want to be on my own. My parents just.. they won't let me go. Not even if I made 80k a year would they let me go.

    You know my brother still lives with us, he's turning 21. Never had a job in his life. Spoiled rotten, a jackass, doesn't help with anything (you can tell that sores me to talk about, right?) so I figure when he leaves, I'll be able to leave. And that may never happen.

    But I'm trying! I've been trying. May need to move states to somewhere a little more affordable so I can make that happen sooner.

    Man that was quite the rant :/
         
        06-15-2012, 01:18 AM
      #133
    Weanling
    *hugs* I have been in a very similar situation. Finally took a job at a live in 8 week summer camp and ended up moving in with a guy I met there (horrible mistake, I ended up hating him. Still, we dated 6 months and for that time I had a high end apt to live in one block from work and two blocks from campus).

    Although that all fell through and I hated all of it, I am in a better situation now and doing well. Just takes the final slamming your foot down and dealing with discomfort (living on top ramen as a roommate in some house with college kids, or whatever) until you can move up in life.

    For now, work on not engaging in conversation with your thoughts, and trying not to physically manifest the way you feel if it is negative. I know the weather is not the best there at the moment, however, perhaps you can take up going for walks alone around the neighbourhood, sitting outside alone to listen to the birds, etc? Being stuck in a house will get you down real fast!

    Hugs for you!
         
        06-15-2012, 01:24 AM
      #134
    Showing
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by RunSlideStop    
    Being stuck in a house will get you down real fast!

    Hugs for you!
    Amen for that, and thanks for the hugs. I think I will. We have some nice hills in the neighborhood too so it'll be a nice hike. Will just have to go without telling my mom or she'll freak out.

    :)

    I have noticed, though, everything I have ever planned or taken care of myself has had no real issues. Sky is doing amazing right now; my parents have NO role in that. I had to really encourage my parents to do taxes so I could do it (first time, we didn't learn in school) and they were complaining that it's difficult and will be a huge deal and it only took us one day.. mine took me 20 minutes.

    Just.. they complicate things. Yes if I move out it won't be perfect but I do a pretty **** fine job on my own.
    RunSlideStop likes this.
         
        06-15-2012, 01:42 AM
      #135
    Weanling
    That is a great attitude to have. My mother has a way of being rhetorical to the point that it is depressing (she and my dad split up when I was in school, and she would always rant and rave about how much she hated him, always rhetorically: ie "Doesn't he know he's losing his children? Can't he see he is such a loser?!" etc). When I would want to learn to drive, she would refuse to teach me and come up with a million reasons why her car was unsafe for me to drive. When I would want to find a job, she would rhetorically nag me constantly to the point that I didn't want to do it any more. She and my dad sold my horses for rent under the guise that I would be getting the money, but alas, no.

    When I left, I managed to work out an extra commission at my job. At school I got nominated for the National Society of Collegiate Scholars. At my new job I managed to get shifts and in turn extra money when others would call in sick. All it took was saying I'm done, I am an adult and I am moving out, regardless.

    Some parents won't accept that, and it is tricky to do without burning bridges. I am sure you will find the process that works for you. Just stay resolute and be proud of your accomplishments. You will get there soon!
    Skyseternalangel likes this.
         
        06-15-2012, 01:50 AM
      #136
    Showing
    Gunslinger, I am 19 turning 20 in September. I'm WAY overdue to move out.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by RunSlideStop    
    Some parents won't accept that, and it is tricky to do without burning bridges. I am sure you will find the process that works for you. Just stay resolute and be proud of your accomplishments. You will get there soon!
    Thank you, Ash.

    Sincerely,
    Maggie
         
        06-15-2012, 08:07 AM
      #137
    Green Broke
    Well Sky, you're a young woman with a lot of trails left to ride.

    Focus on finishing that degree. I won't take long if you set your mind to it and push hard.

    Get there, and then your life opens up a bit.

    How many hours do you have left to finish your degree?

    Now, about home sickness. I worked in China 18 months back in the early 1990's. The first few months were hell. Christmas of 1990 was about the lowest low I've ever had. Stuck in the Shangli oil field, only me and one other foreigner working 12 on, 12 off. There is no cure for homesickness, only time cures it.

    Long walks help. Go dancing, move around and get out in the sun!
    RunSlideStop likes this.
         
        06-16-2012, 07:11 AM
      #138
    Showing
    That is very true, thank you. I have 91 credits left. 7 classes this term which is 4 more than last. They're all busy work classes so next term will be even harder. Gotta keep pushing on. Just like Joey plowing the field.

    6/16/2012

    Sky's feet aren't doing too well. They aren't being trimmed to their prime so having a chat with my farrier rather than jumping to conclusions.

    Oh as for an update, no more hives. We are not sure if it was the flyspray (using Bite-Free) so we are giving it a few days and trying again. Hopefully it was some freak incident though.

    He rode beautifully for RandysWifey (my lessee) :) Which I'm very happy about! They just get better and better, which pleases me to no end.

    On another note, finally watched War Horse and it was a good movie. It made me miss Sky so much and I ended up watching some videos I taped of him and I training. I am now in tears, but they aren't sad tears. Tears of joy mixed with tears of missing him dearly. Joy because he's doing amazing, and missing him and wishing I were there to watch him progress further. But that's selfish of me; I've got a lot of work to do here before I can support the both of us properly. Sacrifices must be made, though they will pay off soon.

    Going to get this outline done tonight if it tires me out. I need to move onto my next assignment so I can get through 7 classes by August (oh boy..) Wish me luck!

    Hope everyone is well :) Thank you all for your kind encouragement.
         
        06-16-2012, 08:04 AM
      #139
    Green Broke
    Don't lose sight of your goal. You're almost there. Now Get-r-done.....
         
        06-17-2012, 09:16 AM
      #140
    Showing
    6/17/12 but kind of 6/18/12 since it's 1:11

    I had a wonderful day :) I woke up in a fabulous mood, I got my project done last night as self-promised and submitted it this morning (the site was down) and begun my next project which is a rough draft of everything I've been researching and learning about: Chicken welfare and enriched caging.

    And I began to sing out loud again. I stopped doing this because my brother used to yell at me to shut up when I was little.. so I haven't sung out loud for no reason in many.. MANY years and I made up a song about tank tops. It was pretty lame but it was fun hearing myself and how much my voice has changed!

    I then had dinner with a friend and it was amazing.. and we had so much to talk about. It was a lot of fun, and nice to get out of the house a little. It's been raining for days and days, so I've not been able to do everything as planned but I still got a lot of things done :)

    Prayers for my lessee though, someone near and dear to her isn't doing well :(

    Haven't heard from Sky but I bet he's doing wonderfully! Still gotta work on shipping these supplements from here to there.. $13 shipping fee. Blehh...

    Oh had a chat with my farrier and we're putting Sky on a 5 week trim schedule, with possible sooner appointments if they are available since he comes from out of town. We'll see...!

    Now I'm just listening to music and seeing if my friend is about to check in with her..

    Hope everyone is doing well :)
    QHriderKE and RunSlideStop like this.
         

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