I can't drop this degree, my parents would kill me and I'd kill my chance at a good job in the states. That's what hurts the most. God I'd drop it all to go clean stalls at a horse barn all day, even if it kills my back.
I hate feeling like this, I hate pity, I hate being stuck. It's so frustrating not being able to DO anything about it. Waiting for this job to start.. I wanted to ask the ambassador of NZ if I would be allowed to volunteer and perhaps work but my parents said "Nope we aren't giving you permission because you'll get taxed for working here"
Well no ****ing ****, Sherlock. But at least I'd be able to DO something, LEARN something. Be useful!
Life how I want it: Just me and Sky, in the middle of nowhere, seeing him every morning, working my ass off till 5pm at a job, coming home and spending time with him. Maybe another little horse so he's not lonely. But that sounds so blissful to me.
You get up in the morning, look in the mirror, and decide if you're going to be happy or sad.
Ever think about maybe it's time to leave the nest and make a life of your own? Not sure how old you are, but if you're unhappy with living where you are then do you have other options?
I still think your a bit home sick.
Hang in there young lady, this to will work it's self out.
I am terribly home sick and the bold sentence I have been trying since I turned 18. I've been trying so hard to move out, my parents won't let me. I don't make enough to make it without falling on my ass. I worked two jobs and nearly made it but then my friend who I was going to move out with up and moved states, the other one decided she was happy living with her dad so I got dragged along.
I try to choose happy, I really do. But it's very hard, and I hate living like this.
When I get back I can get a better job now because of my security clearance alone, plus my experience and progress with my degree.. so I'm worth more. But honestly I just want to be on my own. My parents just.. they won't let me go. Not even if I made 80k a year would they let me go.
You know my brother still lives with us, he's turning 21. Never had a job in his life. Spoiled rotten, a jackass, doesn't help with anything (you can tell that sores me to talk about, right?) so I figure when he leaves, I'll be able to leave. And that may never happen.
But I'm trying! I've been trying. May need to move states to somewhere a little more affordable so I can make that happen sooner.
Man that was quite the rant :/