As someone once said, take this with a big steaming pile of FWIW: I know for myself, when I first met/was hanging out with Gentleman Friend, everything was just different...felt weightier. I still don't know why, maybe it's because he's someone I could actually see myself ending up with? But in any case, I worked soooooo hard to just push him away...but at the same time, I was trying to pull him in too! Poor guy was probably so confused.
Anyway, he'd compliment me and I'd go off on how wrong he was, he'd be there for me and I would half-mock him for being there, the whole deal. In the moment, those things would come out of my mouth and I remember consciously thinking "WHY am I being like this?! WHAT is wrong with me!!???" and I'd have no answer. One time he hugged me, before he knew I didn't like being touched by just anyone, and though I LOVED getting a hug from him, I literally WENT OFF on him. After that, he still touched me all the time, but it was always with permission!
It was ridiculous. Like I was angry PMS-ing EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Anyway, I realized that for me, it's just my defense mechanism against him. I could/can see how easy it was for him to get my heart inextricably wrapped around his finger, easier and deeper than any other guy I've met, and I was scared of being hurt. I'm still scared of being hurt but I'm not freaking out on him about it...as much.
On the steamy dream front: much better than nightmares!!
If it makes you feel better, I've seen Mr. Gman sans shirt ONCE and that image is BURNED into my mind. Like I can't even think about it without getting..........happy.
So I work really hard not to think about it. I'm totally fine with shirtless guys in general, not a huge fan of it to be honest but it doesn't get distracting. Mr. Gman on the other hand.........
In any case: Maggie likes a boy! Maggie likes a boy! *group sigh*