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Come Ride with Me and Tessa D

80K views 2K replies 36 participants last post by  jaydee 
#1 ·
I've been in awe and loved horses since the very first time I saw one in person at age 7. Loved their movement, and the way they smell, and the sound their hooves make every time they hit the ground. I never got to actually ride until I was 14 or 15, and it was on a QH ranch with dead broke horses. My main instruction had been, "Get on, you got the steering wheel, now kick!" lol. While my friends were out partying on the weekends and getting into shenanigans, I was at the ranch riding a palamino gelding, named Dancer, bareback and imagining I was a Cheyenne indian on the Great Plains. :)

Fast forward 25 years, I finally got back into riding in March of this year. Started at a H/J barn, but for various reason, I ended up moving to a Dressage/Eventing barn only 2 months later. I LOVE dressage and leased a draft cross for several months, but it quickly became evident that she would never be a horse I could continue to learn on in Dressage.

I really ended up with Tessa through a challenge. I wasn't seriously looking, but who can stop looking at the sale ads when you don't have a horse to ride??
A local woman was selling a 14 yr old Friesian mare for $12K. I knew her friend and she was trying to convince me that this was a good price for a 14yr old green horse that was a bit spooky and had put the seller's mother in the hospital once. I visited the horse once and she was pushy on the ground and the seller had trouble in the saddle getting her to cooperate and ride simple circles. I instantly knew she was not for me and that she was being sold on breed alone. Far as I know, she has never sold...

The girl's last remark to me was, "I've never seen a Friesian priced less than $13K!" Oh, really?? I found 3 pages of them on Dreamhorse.com, most priced under $10K, and that's how I found my Tessa D. :) The thread that lead up to all this is located here:

http://www.horseforum.com/horse-conformation-critique/conformation-friesian-mare-638210/

She arrived Saturday, Dec. 5th, 2015 and I was overwhelmed with joy. Yesterday has been a week since I've had her and so far, she has been everything I've hoped for and more. In the saddle, we are both fairly green to dressage, but like me, she picks up on things quickly and really works hard to figure out what you're asking her. She never gets flustered or upset, she just pushed through it, and that's what I love about her.

My trainer thinks we make an excellent team, and will be riding 1st level in no time. We already have 3 clinics scheduled at my barn over the next several months. I look forward to sharing my experience with all of you. I am FINALLY in my Happy Place again. :loveshower::loveshower:







 
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#6 ·
It's been just over a week since she has arrived, and again, I can't help but marvel at this horse and feel so incredibly lucky to have her.

I took a break from riding yesterday. I think we both needed a day off. I was getting frustrated with myself in my greenie attempts to get her consistently on the bit and bending properly. I consulted with my "dressage guru/support" on the forum and got some really great tips, advice, and videos to watch. Most importantly, I had to tell myself to SLOW DOWN. I am eager and excited and simply can't wait to do more with my girl. I had to remind myself that she's been ridden by a small child for the past several years, and that now I needed to "un-teach" a lot of the wrong she picked up from being ridden inconsistently and without real guidance.

The best part is that she's a true champ. She listens well, especially to verbal cues, and tries very hard to please. So tonight, I decided to just go slow and focus on one thing at a time and not move forward until I felt she was getting it and I was being clear. It was a MUCH better ride. :D

We stayed at the walk for most of it and amazingly enough, I found that when I focused more on ME - my seat, my hands, my cues, she automatically followed through with what I was wanting. I replayed the words in my head - "work from legs to hand", "keep your hands steady and even", "open your hips, tighten your core, and push forward with your seat". Each time I corrected myself, I watched her fall on to the bit and lengthen her stride and lift her back. It was amazing and I absolutely glowed on the inside and gave lots of verbal praise and pats on the neck and she responded well to it.

We definitely need more work at the trot, but I know this is more me than her and being able to keep that steady contact while in motion and posting.

The best part in all of this is that when we're done with our ride, she is still content with just being near me, dropping her head into me for rubs and praise. One of the most important things to me when horse shopping was finding a horse that I felt safe on, could bond with, and still enjoy the ride. I never have to worry that I will do the wrong thing and tick her off and she come unglued and try to kill me. Lol. She just takes everything in stride and if she gets confused, she'll simply halt and wait for you to tell her the next step. The other part is that even though she's **** near bombproof, she still has that light in her eyes and spunk in her step. She will go from a walk to canter at the first signal with ease. I've seen a lot of horses advertised as bombproof, but they also look like the walking dead. Lol.

So yea, today was just another confirmation that I made the right choice with this one. We have another lesson on Thursday and I can't wait for my trainer to see what we've accomplished this week. Next week will be with my trainer's trainer and I just adore her and can't wait for her to meet Tessa either.

Thanks for sharing another ride with us. I'm sure it will only get better! :):gallop:
 
#7 ·
Okay...now I'm really annoyed... As soon as I make this post, I go and look at my phone and I have a text from one of the girls that work at my barn. She says she has a lesson with my trainer tomorrow and wants to know if she can ride Tessa for her lesson.:eek:mg:

I'm not even kidding, but in a WEEK, I've had 3 people at my barn ask about riding her and now this. Seriously?? I've had her 5 minutes and she is NOT gonna be a lesson horse! I haven't even responded. I don't wanna be mean, but really?? If someone gets a new car, do you ask if you can drive it??
 
#8 ·
I think at this point it would be pretty easy to say no, with excuses such as "she's still adjusting", "I want her to get used to me first", etc. and not have to worry about being mean. Those are reasonable and I think most people would understand that. But she is your horse - you never have to let anyone else ride her unless you want to. :)

You might want to tell your trainer that you don't want anyone else riding her, and then she could pass that along to her students so they wouldn't even have to ask you.
 
#9 ·
I responded and told her I always ride after work, but wouldn't be able to if she took a lesson because it would be too much for Tessa. She was literally dripping sweat after my lesson last week. She's been out of work for a year and a half and my trainer makes you WORK during a lesson. My trainer has 3 lesson horses. Tessa is not one of them! Lol.
 
#10 ·
Just be careful. I wouldn't make excuses that open it up to being asked over and over again. I'd just be direct, tell them you're flattered, but she's a one person horse and won't be used in lessons. I'd also reinforce that with your trainer, so she doesn't hear from one of the barn girls, "Tessa's mom said it would be fine if I rode her as long as she has a long enough break so that she's ready to be ridden in her mom's lesson too."
 
#13 ·
Lesson #2

I gotta say, I was not at all happy with my lesson tonight, but not Tessa or my trainer's fault at all. My trainer was very happy with our progress and said she did not expect to see our performance tonight for at least another 3 weeks to a month. She said we made great progress in only a week, but I still keep letting myself get frustrated.

Advanced riders make dressage look so easy!

Right now I am working hard to correct all the wrong things that this little girl did with my horse. And she's trying, REALLY trying, but like my trainer says, it's like she's trying to show me there's an easier way than the way I'm trying to teach her. Like going deep and bending in the corners. If she could talk when we're riding, she say, "Look, Mom, it's easier if I just counterbend and cut straight across the corners!" I swear, we'd get it on one corner, and then the next corner she was cutting through again, and then I'd get frustrated.

I'm also having to teach her to listen to my leg aids more so than my hands. She's accustomed to be driven by the reins, so again, I'm fighting to make her understand.

We did have our good moments as she's getting more and more consistent with staying on the bit. At the end of our first lesson, she had sweat pouring off her. This time just under her saddle and girth line, which tells me she is getting stronger already.

I don't know what else to say except that - I wish I were a better rider. I wish I were a better rider. I wish...
 
#14 ·
don't get down about your horse. Enjoy the fact that you are improving her. Yes its hard- view every ride like its the first, slow things down. Do them walk, do them on the ground too so you can see how to position her. you guys are new to each other and you both have probably realized how inexperienced you seem one to another. Insist on the right thing bit reward profusely. I find mares like pats and hugs and praise more than geldings. Also don't forget to have fun. Don't worry about getting to a certain point or level- get caught up in enjoying your ride and having that perfect happy lightness- that is totally like crack to a dressage rider. Good luck and congratulations on Tessa.
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#15 ·
You guys sound like you are doing great. I wouldn't get too down about mistakes (yours or hers), it's a work in progress.
Yeah, I wouldn't let other people ride her either. I wouldn't make lame excuses either that would indicate that maybe at a later date they can ask again. I would just say "No, I don't want her to be a lesson horse, I only want her to be ridden by only me or the instructor and that's it". I would tell them that you want her to understand your cues and that can't happen with a bunch of other people riding her as well. And then, get ready for the barn drama. Especially if there's teens involved. I may be projecting things, but I've been there.
 
#16 ·
Thanks ladies. I try to praise her a lot when I ride, but inside I just wanna punch myself! Lol. We worked on canter, and even though she's very uphill, I still have the tendency to draw my legs up, lean forward, and hunch my back at takeoff. Once my trainer fixed my positioning, it was so much easier and lovely, and she's become very easy to get forward off my leg. I just need to fix my directional controls!

Next week I have a lesson with my trainer's trainer and she is awesome as well. She has a great way of getting me through these type things and I can't wait for her to meet Tessa.

I also spoke with my trainer and she agreed that other people should not be riding my horse when I'm not there. She also agreed that we have a lot of work to do together and it wouldn't help to have other people riding her and giving her mixed cues.

I think that eventually, we will make a great team, and I have to remind myself that we're both still just trying to figure things out. She's a very willing partner, so I think the journey will be very rewarding in the end. :)
 
#18 ·
I think that eventually, we will make a great team, and I have to remind myself that we're both still just trying to figure things out. She's a very willing partner, so I think the journey will be very rewarding in the end. :)
Yes, that's what you want to keep in your head, keep and not get strung up over little hiccups. Every horse and rider partnership has to work through a ton of them, and you both learn a lot about each other in the process. The important thing is to not get impatient to "arrive" and be getting things perfect so soon or you'll lose out on the fun of the journey. You'll both get where you want to be in due course, you look like a talented pair and I'm sure you'll shine together.

I must admit that I can't really understand this business of people wanting to ride your horse for lessons. Tessa is YOUR horse, not your trainer's, right? And you haven't been saying around the barn that she's available for other riders, right? I guess I don't know what your barn situation is like, but it sounds a bit as if Tessa would slide into being a lesson horse if you're not on your guard and quite explicit about things. Which I don't understand seeing as she is your horse. You should just be able to say no, without feeling the need to justify yourself. Sounds very presumptive of people to think you'd let anyone use her for their lessons.
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#20 ·
We Did It!!

I almost didn't go to the barn tonight after work because of how frustrated I felt after my lesson last night. I thought maybe I needed to take another night off and just leave it be. I told a coworker I was thinking about skipping it and he said, "Are you nuts?? The weather is perfect! It's cool out and a great night to ride!" So I went! Lol.

It was incredible! I FINALLY got through to her! We were ON THE RAIL and BENDING deep in the corners! I couldn't believe it, but at the end of my lesson, my trainer stayed and talked things through with me for about 15 min. Telling me what I needed to focus on to get her to understand and yield better to my aids. I asked lots of questions and she was happy to answer. Tonight I took all of the things she told me, but we took it slow. Started in one direction at the walk and first I focused on getting her on the bit and staying consistent. It was our best yet and I could see that she finally understood what I was asking with my inside leg and half halts to the outside rein. Once she got consistent, we focused on bending and riding straight into the corners instead of cutting across. Whenever she tried to cut across, I would make her to a small circle or two in that corner. Once we were solid at the walk, then we went to the trot. Then started over in the other direction. She did amazing!

The other thing I discovered is that she's VERY in tune to verbal cues. So when she did well, I'd say, "Good girl, Tessa!" or when we were off, I'd say "Aaah!" and she'd instantly pick up on it. It made it a lot easier to make her understand.

I think the issue last night is that we are on a time limit during our lesson, so my trainer is trying to get as much in as possible. We don't spend much time at the walk and go straight into our exercises at the trot. I had to rush to get there after work so we didn't get a lot of warm up time either. I could tell during the whole lesson that Tessa was confused and discombobulated (sp? lol).

It was much easier tonight to work with her at a slower pace, get her warmed up, and then coincide our movements with verbal cues. I was just SO proud of her and how hard she works for me. I honestly don't think I could've picked a better match for me. :loveshower::loveshower:
 
#22 ·
Today made 2 weeks since I got my beautiful Tessa D. and was another testament to the absolute marvel temperament of this mare. I finally got her a stall blanket and brought it to the barn to try it out on her. I put her in cross ties and then, like a newbie, proceeded to rip it out of the huge plastic bag, toss the bag in front of her, shake out the huge blanket, and then throw the blanket on her without a second thought. I was halfway through the buckles when I realized what I'd just done. Had this been another horse, I could have had a serious situation on my hands. I didn't even take the time to show her what I was doing or check out the huge blanket I was throwing over her. She just stood there cool as a cucumber letting me do as I wished and occasionally checking me to see if I was hiding treats! Lol.
When we're walking, I don't even have to hold her. I just say, "Come on, Tess," and she stays in step with me keeping her head close to my shoulder. I love this mare SO much! She is like chicken soup for my soul. :love:
 
#23 ·
I think when we do something like you opening your blanket in front of Tessa without stopping to think you should show her the package, open it carefully, etcetc, our own confident body language transmits confidence to the horse. An action that could be frightening to them in other circumstances becomes no problem, because they sense their human is totally blasé about what's going on. I wonder if going over the top with showing new stuff cautiously to your horse can actually make them more nervous? That is, if the human is nervous or hesitant about the horse's possible reaction and transmits this with their body language.

I know Tessa is a champ and not likely to react to something as old hat as a blanket anyway :) but I'm sure your attitude influences her too.
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#26 ·
I definitely think that it can be. I did this with my laptop though when I brought it with me to record my ride, but only because she huffed a little when I opened it up. Bright lights and funny sounds and everything. lol. But generally, I try to ignore things in our environment that might make her nervous. The other night someone was popping fireworks on the land next door. No reaction. Same thing with gunshots.

I made a comment regarding her breed and temperament and my blanketing situation on a Friesian forum and her former trainer remarked, "She will also stick her head right thru a closed front if you just hold it in front of her. Not fair to judge the whole breed by her actions...she is truly a magnificent mind...don't assume all Friesians are like her.":D
 
#27 ·
Had a great lesson on Wednesday with our senior trainer and left on a total high as it was the first time I'd managed to get Tessa on the bit, head dropped and lifted back at the trot. Weather here has been bad and with Christmas I regretfully took a couple days off from riding.

Tonight was not a great ride. We struggled in some things, but we will get back on track this week. I also picked a bad time to ride. Not long after we got started in the arena, the horses were brought in for pm feeding, and she was VERY distracted and I'm sure ready to eat as well. Tomorrow, I will head out a bit earlier.

As I was leaving the barn, I was stopped by one of the girls that works there cleaning stalls and what not. She asked if I would like to do shared lessons with her. This is the same girl that asked if she could use Tessa in a lesson the first week I got her. Also the same girl who said she had white horse boots I could have, so I offered to trade and gave her my $80 black boots, cause I wanted the white ones for Tess. I wasn't there, but when she brought them, she said they were too small for Tess and left me some white polo wraps instead. Not a great swap since polo wraps are SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper than boots, but I didn't make a stink about it, and am using them until I can buy the boots I want.

So anyways, now she wants me to do shared lessons with her. I already do weekly private lessons with my trainer @ $35 a lesson. She said she can't afford private lessons, but can do shared lessons which are $25 per person. I didn't know what to say because she put me on the spot and just said, "Sure, just let me know."

This is not ideal for me. I'm going to save $10 a lesson to get half the focus on my riding. I also have the same time and day scheduled every week, and if I do shared lessons, then it's likely she is going to want to change times. I've done a shared lesson before with a different trainer and ended up spending more than half the time on the sideline because the other rider and I were on different levels and they had different things to work on and she had to be somewhere.

I really hate being put on the spot like this, but at the same time don't want to come off as mean. The girl is always super friendly when I talk to her, but then there is something about her that seems kinda off and I'm not sure if I wanna be that involved with her. For one, my trainer told me she is working off old board that she owes, so that she can start boarding there again. Not sure how long ago it's from because I've been there since May and she has only recently started working there again. Today she told me that she's been keeping her horse at a friend's place, but they haven't been feeding her and she's lost a ton of weight. In my head I'm thinking, "Are you buying the food they need to keep her fed?? Or are you just expecting them to feed her?" And then on top of all that, I'm wondering how she's going to afford board if she can't afford the $35 lessons? I've only known this girl a few weeks, but I feel like this is just the beginning of things to come if I continue any kind of relations with her.:neutral:
 
#28 ·
Sounds like a situation I'd want no part of. I understand being caught off guard, but it's easily remedied. Next time you see her, if she brings it up again, you'll be prepared. And you can say, "you know, with a new horse to work on, I'm not interested in doing semi-private lessons. I'm going to stick with my current schedule." And that's it. Her problems aren't yours unless you let them be.

You don't need to be mean about it, but being clear that you are focused on you is the only way this girl is going to leave you alone.
 
#29 ·
I'm going to bring it up with my trainer/BO today as well. She knows this girl a lot better than me and could probably give me some good feedback on it.
 
#30 · (Edited)
I say listen to your gut. Seriously, the only time I've ran into trouble with people is when I didn't listen to my gut because I didn't want to be mean. It is not mean to say no.
It sounds to me like you just want to do your own thing with Tess. If someone catches me off guard like that, I just say "I'm not sure if that is what I want to do, but I'll think about it". You can't be anymore fare than that. If you don't want to do it, tell her that Tess still needs a lot of work and so do you so you would rather pay for the private lesson and get the attention that she needs.
Besides, a shared lesson for 25 bucks doesn't sound like a better deal anyway.

On a side note. I would be asking for my black boots back as well and give her back the polo wraps. She sounds like a pain.
 
#31 ·
I say listen to your gut. Seriously, the only time I've ran into trouble with people is when I didn't listen to my gut because I didn't want to be mean. It is not mean to say no.
It sounds to me like you just want to do your own thing with Tess. If someone catches me off guard like that, I just say "I'm not sure if that is what I want to do, but I'll think about it". You can't be anymore fare than that. If you don't want to do it, tell her that Tess still needs a lot of work and so do you so you would rather pay for the private lesson and get the attention that she needs.
Besides, a shared lesson for 25 bucks doesn't sound like a better deal anyway.
Right! My trainer gets $50 instead of $35 for a lesson with the same amount of time split between 2 riders. I think her private lessons at $35 are more than reasonable and I'm basically getting more for my money than with a shared lesson.

I've expressed to this girl before that Tessa needs a lot of work when she asked me about using her for a lesson. From what I understand, she's a jumper, so I don't see how doing a lesson together would benefit either of us since we're in completely different disciplines.
 
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#32 ·
Something just occurred to me. I realized that you said her horse is not there. Did she mean a shared lesson on your horse? Sounds to me that she's just asking for a lesson on your horse again from another angle. Only now, you get to pay for part of it.

Facepalm
 
#33 ·
She would definitely NOT be riding my horse! Her horse is not there and can't be ridden right now as it has an abscess. She also mentioned that it needs front shoes, but she can't afford the $85 to have it done right now. I'm guessing she would ride one of the lesson horses. Either way, still not something I'm interested in doing.
 
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#34 ·
Today we had a good session and Tessa worked very hard for me, but I am now faced with another dilemma. The week I got her, temps dropped down in the 30s, which is pretty cold for our area. It only lasted a few days, but Tessa's coat naturally got thicker. Since then, temps have been in the 70s and even hit 80 degrees today. Next week is supposed to be mid 60s, but its still too warm for the coat she's carrying and the regular work we're doing. I got worried today because she was panting pretty heavily when we were done even though we only worked at W/T.

I asked my trainer today if I should clip her and she mentioned someone from an hour away that was offering to come down and clip horses if enough people were willing to pay her for it to make extra money. I don't want to have to pay someone to clip my horse! I'd rather just do it myself. I've watched a several videos on youtube and I think I can handle it. I've also got friends at the barn that clip their horses and can give me some advice as well. I just don't want to leave Tess with all this fur and keep working her in this warm weather.
 
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