04-23-2013, 06:38 PM
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You're definitely right about that Gunslinger... worry does make you old fast. I feel like I've aged so much in the past few months!
The only thing is that I really can't find anything in my life right now that I can just let go of or not worry about. I've sort of become the glue that holds a lot of things together over the years and if I just quit because things have gotten tough, it will unravel and there will be no one to blame to myself. Its that way in mutiple things, namely where I volunteer and in my youth group.
I've just taken on too much, I think. I'm taking 8 1/2 credits this year, two of those credits being AP and one being dual credit- and I was elected the president of our yearbook. I'm trying to care for Sour and Kenzie while also managing our therapy program, dealing with some very difficult people, and trying to preserve my sanity. I'm trying to find a job so that I'll be able to afford college, and raising my little brother. And then I'm being pressured to take on even more things, and its hard for me to say no which sounds ridiculous, but its true! Normally I can handle things like this well enough, but theres just some days...or weeks, when it all seems to sort of reach its peak and try smothering me. My classes are getting harder and harder (organic chemistry especially...ICK) and my health has deteriorated a lot lately too with all of my GI and migraine problems, so I'm just not feeling 100% either. Its definitely stolen my joy away from me if nothing else. I've just completely exhausted myself...and its my fault for taking it all on in the first place! XD
And I know so many people have it much worse than I do, and I really should be grateful, which makes me feel horrible for feeling horrible if that makes sense! Lol