Getting back on after bad accident

My friend does have experience!! she fell off a horse called remi! She broke her arm and got a metal plate. After that was fixed she got on to ride him and he bucked her off and she broke her nose. She thought that she would never even get on a horse again!! She is much better now with a horse called Karoo! he is gorgeous and means the world to her!

I've been ridding her on and off. Some days are great and some aren't so much. We did have a pretty big set back when the saddle went sideways on her. Thank God I wasn't on her. It slid as I got off. She stood there for a second, but when I reacted, yelling at my husband so she wouldn't jump on him, she started bucking. She bucked and bucked and bucked...and then came back to me and asked for help. I know it probably sounds rediculous, but it scared me pretty bad to see her do that. I was comfortable with the thought that she just wouldnt' ever buck.
I've gotten back on her after that, but it did set me back a little.
I also had a screw taken out last week. I can't wait until I can do more then just walk again.

yea i no how it feels i shattered 3 ribs on one of my horse a while ago and it still hurts. They shattered because my horse reared up and came over on me but it wasn't that that did it, it was the saddle horn coming down on my ribs that shattered them. And when u go to rodeos and you see them cowboys come off i have seen the good the bad and the ugly out come of it. one of my friends has a scare on his back from getting stabbed, another one just got stepped on and the last one ended up with broken leg and arm from the bull. When they say it doesnt hurt dont believe em their just lying cause it hurts like heck. But most of them at some rodeos i have gone to just drink the pain away and end up in the hospital for alcohol poisoning and the whatever happened with the bull

I rode her off the property today. We went ridding in a little open area and it was great. Then, we went down the road...along the fence which wasn't a smart idea. A car come up behind us and she noticed it before I did. I panicked, but worked REALLY hard on keeping my body relaxed. She got nervous and sidestepped a little bit, but did good. After that I got off when a car was coming. What a helpless, horrible feeling. I remember thinking...it could happen again and there's nothing I can do about it. AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I want this to end. I want to get on her and ride her and love it and enjoy it. A friend was with me and rode her first. She Was cantering throught he field having a blast. I am so JELOUSE! Why can't I do that? Everyone that meets Gracie asks, "this is the horse that hurt you?" because she is so calm and slow and easy going. Why can't I get over that?

Gracie and I have been ridding pretty routinly lately if the weather allows it and things aren't going well. I could use some advice.
Gracie knows I'm scared of her. My husband gets on her and she side passes, turns the minute he asks, does eveything he asks perfectly. I get on her and I'm fighting her the whole time. The last few rides have been terrible. I got off mad and frusterated.
She also spooked at some kids and spun. I shut down. I thought, "here it goes again" froze up and just waited to fall. This is not safe or productive because then she feeds off of my fear.
I've been offered a gelding I know and have ridden for free. He's a sweet older guy that I could trust over anything. But I can't afford another horse. Plus, I don't want 2 ridding horses. One won't get the ridding time he/she needs.
I can't ride Gracie alone. I have to wait until my husband is off work, so during the week she isn't getting the ridding time.
But...on the other hand...this is my girl. On the ground I love her and can't imagine life without her. When I ride her we don't get along at all and I'm worried it's going to cause another accident. I always wanted a horse that I could braid their mane and tail and I've always wanted a halfinger even as a kid. I'm starting to think these are not reasons to keep her. She could be happier with someone that can ride her and enjoy her.
What are your opinions? What would you do in my situation? I also worry about loosing all the money I put into her training because the market is so bad.

I think don't push yourself. Change your course of action. Instead of going back to where you were, start over. Do small circles, don't hit the rail and don't go on trail. You arent ready. Get on her, do small circles at the walk. Back, turn pivot, small stuff. When you feel like things are good, pick up the trot. Don't worry about what you could do before. Worry about getting that confidence back.

The reason I say do small circles, pivots, figure 8's and serpentines is because it forces her to focus on your every request. By not letting her just walk in a straight line she has to listen to you the whole time you are on her, wondering... what is she going to do next? And with you constantly telling her to turn this way, halt back, turn that way trot 5 strides halt walk that circle and back... you arent giving YOURSELF time to let your mind wander. If that doesnt work then I would enroll in lessons and let someone tell you what to do for a while.

You are on the right track, just keep it up. If you feel terrified, have someone walk beside you on the ground. Fear is a powerful thing. It's really hard to conquer. Just don't give up.

OR...

I didn't type this at first because you probably don't want to hear it. I have a mare that I adore on the ground but I can't get along with in the saddle. I call her a "flaming witch, but with a B". She calls me the hired help, I am there to feed her and groom her but I am not worthy enough to ride her. She chooses who can ride her and I am not a chosen one.

It may be that you should consider letting her go and settling for something more suitable. It sucks but it may be that she will be happier with a teenager that has no fear and does crazy stuff then with a "fuddy duddy" like yourself... (Don't feel bad, I'm a fuddy duddy too these days)....

Just something to THINK about.

Farmpony84 I am with you all the way. You didn't hurt my feelings. The instructions you gave me in the fist post are what I have been doing. I can't ride her out of the arena becuase it scares me. Even doing little circles and figure 8s she doesn't listen. She's feeding off of my insecurity. All that money I spent on training is going down the tubes because I'm letting her get away with it.
You validating what I've been thinking (the whole teenager thing and me being a fuddy duddy) makes me feel better. I just feel like I'm letting her down when I think about selling her. I told her this would be her forever home and that I would always make sure she was taken care of. I guess maybe the best way to do that is to let her go. What a hard dicison to make!

Some horses are made for teenagers. It's like they feed off that desire that is within a young rider. If you take your time and sell her to an approved home, if that's the decision you make, then you won't be letting her down.

SFW
I have written a longer version of this but I decided to paraphrase it.
To sell or not to sell? - that is the question.
The problem is that the horse is not broken - the rider is.
The cure for you lies with you in:
re schooling yourself - back to basics + physiotherapy + Pilates.
and
removing the spurs, buying a riding hat and learning patience and persistence.
Getting you back into the saddle will take time - a lot of time - a length of time as yet undetermined. You will need courage. You have already discovered that it is tension and fear you have to conquer. You have an uphill mental battle to face as well as a physical battle.

It can be done - others with broken backs have done it. You will need help and encouragement.
Have you got the bottle?

But there are three simple question which you must answer first:
what happens if the horse treads on your injured foot /ankle???
what happens if you fall again?
can you get to enjoy riding again?

What you do with your Haffie depends on the answers you give to those questions.

Sit down with a piece of paper. Ask yourself the questions.
Write down the answers. Make the decision
OR
wait and see if the passage of time changes your mind.

Be honest with yourself.

Barry