Lacey, Fabio and Me: The Neverending Story - Page 101
 
 

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Lacey, Fabio and Me: The Neverending Story

This is a discussion on Lacey, Fabio and Me: The Neverending Story within the Member Journals forums, part of the The Horse Forum Community category

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        04-28-2014, 07:39 PM
      #1001
    Super Moderator
    Shoot! She beat me to it! What was the prize, Roper?

    Wallaby, don't get distracted with NG. I know that sounds blunt, but if he is far away, a relationship like that will be too "cosy" for you. You'd love nothing more than a relationship with the safety of being carried on via texting/letters; the distant security of text, as opposed to the reality of flesh.

    With Lacey's passing, you have a great opportunity to take the time and energy to focus on yourself. It's a kind of momentum that can be lost in comfortable familiarity. Move outward, with gusto.
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        04-28-2014, 07:54 PM
      #1002
    Super Moderator
    Christy! Yay!
    He might be..though I know they clicker train the goats at the zoo here so maybe not? But the zoo-goats tricks are things like pushing a button/standing on their hind legs - that sort of thing.
    I'm certainly training him differently than I've ever seen a goat be trained! 1 point for me! Haha

    I agree, Caroline! So so much!
    Like you said, a long distance relationship could be really comfortable for me BUT it wouldn't be all that good for me. I'm aware of that..as much as I want to be blissfully unaware.
    Who knows what a year from now will hold, but right now I'm finding me. :)
    Change is scary, but don't worry, I'm falling headlong into change. I'm choosing everything that isn't the easy way...or trying to choose almost every choice that isn't precisely comfortable.
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        04-28-2014, 08:26 PM
      #1003
    Super Moderator
    Who's worried? Not me.
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        04-28-2014, 08:34 PM
      #1004
    Teen Forum Moderator
    Oh geez, typical guy. I don't know why they can't just come out and say important things, but they can't! Or at least, some of them can't. I had the same general thing happen with me last year. My best friend in the world (who happened to be awkward and kind of geeky but the best) found out that his family was moving to LONDON of all places before the end of the school year, for two years- or possibly forever. He was super excited because he aspires to be a musician and got accepted into a prestigious music academy there, but he didn't know how to break the news to me apparently. He literally told everyone except me, and I had nooo idea until one of our teachers asking me why he wasn't in class, and another friend who he wasn't as close to mentioned him packing. So I called him, practically pried the information from him, and found out he was leaving in 3 weeks and he 'meant to tell me but didn't know how because its awful'. So I can kind of relate. And honestly, we'd both liked each other for a while but after I realized how bad he was at just TELLING me things, and then that he was moving for a long time...or forever, I realized it just wouldn't have worked. We're still friends, but it sort of put things in perspective for me, you know? It helped me realize what I'm really looking for if that makes sense, and I've had a lot more time to focus on growing me than on working on a relationship of sorts.

    That doesn't totally apply to you, but whatever xD you're a super strong person and I definitely respect your ability to make choices with your eyes open and to see the good in every outcome. That is such a great way to be. I was so upset about my friend leaving for a while, but it is really neat to see the WHY in things that happen, down the road. Makes you go 'oh, that makes so much sense!'

    By the way, you seriously do need to train seeing eye goats. It would be so perfect. They're way more agile than horses!
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        04-30-2014, 08:42 PM
      #1005
    Super Moderator
    Oh good, Caroline.

    HA! Allyson! I totally get that story.
    It really reminded me of my brother - we've always been super close but, I don't know, I guess he really doesn't want me to ever be disappointed in him? Anyway, he was dating this girl named Emily and knew I didn't really like her, but that I liked her because he liked her [not to mention the whole "Emily" debacle..]. He never told me how serious things were so I just kind of assumed she was a passing thing.

    Then he asked her to marry him and she said yes.
    He didn't know how to tell me that he had gotten engaged so, even though he was still living at home with our parents and I, HE DIDN'T TELL ME FOR FOUR MONTHS!!
    I actually found out from MUTUAL FRIENDS that my own brother was ENGAGED.

    At the time, man, it hurt. A lot. But, looking back, I can see why he didn't tell me. I'm sure he was worried I'd freak out and he didn't want to have to chose between his sister or his future-wife [which, for the record, would not have happened]...but dang.
    Oh men. Haha


    Speaking of "oh men"...

    Poor NG. He's done. I'm not even going to use any more energy on that one. I'm still going to be his friend...for the next month, but yeahhh.

    I mean, I am in no way perfect and I can accept a multitude of faults, but dear ol' NG was already skating on thin ice post-church-ignoring-debacle and lunch yesterday was bad.

    I don't know, I feel terrrible saying that, but I think I need to draw the line somewhere. Otherwise, I'm just going to chase every Tom, Dick, and Harry that might be nice to me because "they could turn around" or whatever. I can make excuses for other people's behavior for days, but sometimes it's probably important to stop making excuses for others and say "this isn't right."

    And that's what I'm doing here.

    He's a SUPER nice guy...just super immature.

    He was late to lunch because "a cool band was playing in the park and he got distracted", and he tried to rectify that by RUNNING to meet me [which, granted, was really adorable].

    Then he kept making those...you know half-compliments that people say? Where they're thinking something and it comes out really bad but they commit to trying to tell you that it's realllly a good thing?
    I mean, I do that alll the time too...but two people who do that probably aren't the best mix.

    For instance, he said to me "this is going to sound terrible...but I really don't mean it like that: you're really funny in person, but you're TEN TIMES funnier in writing. I really want you to write a book so I can read it."
    [which was, granted, really funny to me..and it's really accurate. Buuuuut still not really something someone wants to hear: "you're kind of a letdown in person..."]

    Then, I was asking him about what people, in his experience, wore to the racetrack for a race and he said to me "well, some people wear gowns and fancy stuff. Other people look like they've just been rolling around in mud. I know you would never dress up though! You're probablyyy going to wear those Converse, jeans, and some really cool t-shirt that has something really funny on it"


    Which, ok, after typing all these things out, they really don't sound thattt bad. BUT he has me in such a box. Maybe that's just what people do, but I'm always getting shoved into the "funny girl who never dresses up" box and I just don't feel like I fit there!

    I don't know, I guess it really goes back to the fact that I want people to see that I love nature, that animals make me happy, that being funny is just a front for who I really am, that I love a good pun more than anything, that I love colors, that I don't dress up because I hate dressing up...I LOVE dresses..I don't dress up because I can see all the things I dislike about myself when I do/I end up feeling like I tried, and failed, to be pretty.

    Anyway, that went really sideways of where I had been going..but it's still accurate.
    I feel like NG has me situated in a tidy little box inside his head and I'm not going to get out of that box without a LOT more effort than it's probably worth.

    Then, a little after 1pm, he checked his phone and was all "DARN. I was supposed to meet someone at 1! Gotta go!" and he pretty much ran off.

    I guess it made me feel like that was a pity-lunch, instead of something he actually wanted to do.

    And you know me, nothing I hate more than being a passing entertainment/subject of pity.
    But really.

    The thing is that, at church, he acts SO mature and grown up....but every time I've seen him completely removed from all church business, it's like this big switch flips and he turns into a 15 year old boy. I DON'T GET IT.

    For the record - I was talking like a huge ditz yesterday too and I probably said some things I shouldn't have, but still. At least I'm "hilarious in writing and wear cool tshirts"

    Oh well.



    On the plus side of all this:
    1. At least he IS going away in a month. That means I can be friendly until he leaves and no hard feelings if we never speak again. That would certainly be sad, I like him as a person, but it is convenient.

    2. This all has helped get me thoroughly over Gman. I love Gman like a brother now, but that's really it. No more co-dependency there, I'm over it.


    So I dunno, this whole thing with NG really bums me out but it's for the best.

    On the plus side, the next couple of days are supposed to be BEAUTIFUL weather and I baked brownies to take to the beach on Friday! Haha
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        05-01-2014, 12:41 PM
      #1006
    Started
    Hey Emily, I didn't meet the right guy till my mid-30s. Knowing that would have freaked me out in my early 20s, when I used to think life ended at 30. Looking back, I had to figure out who I was and learn to live with myself before I could be in the kind of relationship I was aspiring to. I lived in my head too much when I was young, and went round in circles and second-guessed myself and over-analysed things and didn't trust my observations or gut reactions (which were actually in hindsight usually correct), and it made me vulnerable to putting up with quite a bit of BS in my personal sphere. You've got lots of time, and you'll probably be a lot happier still in your 40s than in your 20s! And you'll still be you essentially, not a boring person, as teenagers like to think all people over 30 must necessarily be (because they don't think Justin Bieber can sing, or some such equally convincing reason! ).
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        05-01-2014, 03:23 PM
      #1007
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wallaby    
    Then, I was asking him about what people, in his experience, wore to the racetrack for a race and he said to me "well, some people wear gowns and fancy stuff. Other people look like they've just been rolling around in mud. I know you would never dress up though! You're probablyyy going to wear those Converse, jeans, and some really cool t-shirt that has something really funny on it"
    EW. WHO SAYS THAT?! Time to have some YOU time...the beach sounds like a perfect place for it...and brownies. Brownies solve everything.
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        05-01-2014, 07:16 PM
      #1008
    Green Broke
    I think the problem is you're putting all your eggs in one basket.

    I suggest having 3 or 4 interesting young fellows instead of one. That way you won't have time to worry about the mannerism's of an individual suitor......it's called playing the field.....
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        05-01-2014, 07:17 PM
      #1009
    Teen Forum Moderator
    Wowwwww o.o I'm pretty sure my Dad's brother did something similar to your brother- decided to get married, got married, said nothing about it for months...haha. I'm starting to think there is a trend here.

    Guys. Who needs 'em? Not us!
    Well ok maybe. You know, for squashing roaches and loading hay...stuff like that! :)

    If it makes you feel any better I'm again practically your twin- I don't not dress up because I hate it, I don't dress up because I feel weird/gangly in anything but my t-shirts. Oh, and I'm definitely more interesting to talk to via computer than in real life, because I always think of funny things AFTER the conversation has passed otherwise...hahaha.
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        05-01-2014, 11:37 PM
      #1010
    Super Moderator
    Thanks Sue [can I just call you Sue, is Sue your name? Haha :) ] !! That helps me have some perspective. I appreciate it. :)

    RIGHT, Julia??!!! I know he was probably "just" trying to be funny, BUT STILL. Not respectful and NOT OK. Definitely time for some me-time!!

    Ha, gunslinger, if onlyyyy it were that easy. I'm sure you're right though, I'm sure that would help.
    However, I'm not the type of girl that has multiple guys interested in her at any given time. I've never had a boyfriend, and good ol' NG here is about as close to real "dating" as I've ever gotten.
    I've had a couple of guys hit me up to see how "easy" I'd be, but that was years ago and they, clearly, got shut downnnn.
    It seems like guys are traditionally more interested in me before they know me. And I really don't know why that is. I don't thinkkkk I have any major personality flaws that would cause that to be the case - at least, my friends who I've known for years and would tell it like it is, claim that the guy is "never good enough" or some such thing and the guy knew it=why he backed off.

    I've been told that I'm "intimidating"...but I really don't mean to be? I'm simply nice, polite, tell jokes, and bake people stuff. I've also heard that I'm "too perfect" but I'm reallllly not?
    And I guess I don't really have that "vibe" that some girls have...that vibe that the girls/women who attract men have......

    ANYWAY. Having more than one interested party is a great idea..but I don't think that'll ever happen to me. Haha But great idea. I'll think more on it. Maybe I'm accidentally shutting down interest because I'm focused in one area too much...


    HA!!!! ALLYSON!!! How are we so similar??!!!! THE BEST.
    I'm exactly the same way on the computer. The only reason I can be really funny in writing is that I've spent 15 minutes revising everything into the "perfect" thing!




    GUYS.
    The pasture owners gave me Lacey's finished grave marker today.

    I LOVE IT.
    It couldn't be more perfect.

    They did the embellishments up at the top as a surprise and they're perfect. Intertwined horseshoes, intertwined like our hearts, pointing up to "hold" our luck?

    PERFECT.
    I can't even.

         

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