I think I'd have to agree with Allyson/Endiku on the "bringing the goats" idea - Atti would probably be fine, but I think it might be too much stress for Hazel. The only time I've ever seen her hold weight well or be really happy has been now, after Lacey's gone. I have to guess that something about Lacey [Haze had never been around a horse, ever, until I brought them home] or something about the constant stream of people in and out didn't inspire her to feel safe.
And Lacey was the gentlest horse evvvver. She was dominant over Hazel, but she wasn't mean and Hazel could easily get away. A different horse=potentially not so much.
There's also the fact that Atti tends to get aggressive if he gets overly stressed. I can avoid incidents with him cuz I know him, but I wouldn't feel safe leaving him around other people who don't know him or think he'll "get over it," you know?
And he really doesn't have to be cornered to get mean, he just has to feel cornered - ie, someone repeatedly trying to touch him after he tried to get away once, etc. He's not vicious-mean, it's just "I'm really scared and you aren't listening when I ask you to give me space so maybe you'll get the message if I use my horns."
Anyway, I don't really think either one of them would do super well in a busy scenario unless there was a reliable pattern and they were surrounded by "safe" people.
I hope that Atti will get better as he sees more of life and meets more people...but, right now, he could end up being really dangerous if the wrong things happened.
It's mostly due to his "upbringing" - before I got him at 6 months old, he was basically unhandled except for when he was wethered/neutered. Goats and dogs have a similar "young life trajectory" - there's various socialization periods they go through and after about 3 or 4 months, it becomes much more difficult to have well-adjusted animal.
It's not impossible, of course, it's just way harder.
Many people will bottlefeed their baby goats just to ensure proper socialization and friendliness...if that gives you any idea. haha
So Atti is doing incredibly, given where he started....but he IS "special."
But that is a great idea!
I haven't heard from the people at all. So I'm thinking I probably didn't get the job.
AND THAT'S OK!!
I'm going to start my Lacey-book this summer, go to more counseling, maybe paint, maybe sew, find somewhere to ride, paint my parent's basement [I'm great at that - they ASKED ME TO! Dream come trueeee!] work with the goats - go on some hikes?
I realized that I might have been trying to run away with that job.
With Lacey passing 3 days before a new term at school, I have spent very little time processing that like I need to. I really haven't just let myself stop and deal with things...cuz I can't! I need to finish school, pass my classes...so far there's no room for feeling the feels.
And if I had gotten/taken that job, I would have gone straight from an intense term at school to an intense job and I would have just hidden from my feelings more.
So it's probably a good thing.
I tend to avoid my feelings whenever possible and throw myself into whatever I can find to avoid thinking about the things that hurt, so it would be good for me to stop a little and deal with stuff more effectively.
And the Lacey-book! That has got to happen and what better way to deal with sadness than to relive every good moment?
So, really, either way will work out ok.
But I doubt that job will call me. They told me I'd hear from them in 48 hours and it's been wayyyy longer than that=I'm not holding my breath.
I wanted the answer to be clear and maybe this is clearly the answer! I can't make the wrong choice if I don't get a choice!!
In other news, I found out yesterday that my Sign Language prof's name is Rusty Wales. Not even kidding. Rusty Wales.
[in ASL, when you're pretty terrible at it like I am...well, ok, I might not be 100% terrible anymore - I can successfully figure out how to say pretty much whatever I need to say but it's way harder to understand what someone else is saying...anyway, when understanding what someone's saying is hard, you pretty much never figure out what anyone's name is. Ever. haha]
Anyway, with a name like that, a picture HAD to happen.