Lacey had a lesson which she did FANTASTICALLY for! I'm so proud of her AND her lesson kid today. The girl who comes today has been riding with Lacey+me for nearly 3 years and she's really a natural. I really don't have a lot to teach her anymore but she+her family don't want to move up to a new instructor...which is super sweet. So now she just gets to ride/work with Lacey and I nitpick.
Anyway, today they did really well.
Then, I went to work.
And things went half downhill. Basically it was all fine but my boss was picking at me so much for the way I do things with the crop/stick [she thinks the horse should see it+"run into" it for a correction - I think it should be more out of sight so the horse doesn't end up only behaving when you have said crop/stick] and, since a lot of the way I do it comes from how my hands function, I had to tell her about it. And I feel like a huge cop-out.
Basically, I have a condition called "Mirror Dystonia" [overview article: Page not found | Stuff You Should Know
] which, luckily for me, only affects my hands and my toes. I move one toe, that same toe on the other foot moves identically. I move a hand in a certain way, my other hand moves the same. You can see it really clearly in the end of Atticus' "Bye-bye" video when I'm scratching his head - my other hand is going nuts! Haha
For reference, here it is cued up to the right spot [ETA: just kidding on the cuing, it starts at 59 seconds in]:
Anyway, it influences how I hold the crop/stick since, if I let the horse "run into the stick", I'm also cuing their face with my opposite hand as I shift the stick around = confusing signals.
And I had to tell her about it. And I feel terrible. She seemed really interested in the condition and sort of almost lit up, like I was some kind of new "subject" of study. I really don't think of it as a "disability" or anything like that...it's just another funny little quirk of mine = I hated that I had to literally say "I CAN'T
because ____." "Can't" is the opposite of everything I believe. I mean, to me, "can't" means "can" is in disguise and we just need to help "can't" be comfortable enough to de-"'t" itself and become "can".
But in this case, I literally CAN NOT. And I so dearly wish I could.
I never tell anyone about my Mirror Dystonia because 1. People want me to do "party tricks" with it [I can write with both hands at once, left hand writes perfectly backwards], 2. They feel "bad" for me, 3. Again with the "can't" - if no one knows, I can't blame anything on it/no one else can blame anything I do on it and THAT is how I want it.
Anyway, that was frustrating. I wish she could just accept/trust that we have different ways of doing stuff and both of our ways are ok. Hopefully she will in a few months, after all she really doesn't know me at all at this point! If I were in her shoes, I think I would need few months.
I do come across as kind of "intense" sometimes, especially with horses. I don't mean to be intense, of course, but I really am sometimes. Basically I'm either babbling on, never shutting up, or I come across as "too intense". Need to find that happy medium!
I just run a tight ship.
Anyway, happy thoughts of the day:
1. I got new Converse Hi-Tops! They basically last 2 years per pair when I use them as "summer horse shoes" and my last pair were disintegrating into sandals. So now I have spiffing new ones!!
AND! I used to wear 7.5-8's in Converse, pre-gluten-free, because my feet were "SO wide". Length-wise, my feet are tiny but they were basically little squares with toes attache, so I had to size-up to fit the width.
Post-gluten-free, I haven't gotten new shoes until today. And you know what I discovered??
I knew that my feet were much narrower since going GF but I didn't know how much narrower: these new shoes are SIXES. SIZE freaking 6!! I lost 1 1/2 or even 2 whole shoe sizes all from going gluten free!!! HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN. And these 6's are 100% perfect. Maybe even the tiniest bit big. What.
2. Gentleman Friend returned yesterday. He uploaded photos from his adventure this morning onto Facebook and tagged me in two that he and his besties took specifically because "they thought they were really funny and that I would appreciate them" [it was absolutely hilarious - a stuffed llama had been put into a dinosaur exhibit]. I was the only person tagged in the album too! So it wasn't like everybody was getting tagged.
I thought that was really really sweet.
And it was right after I had spent some time doubting our friendship and being all "Psh, he says the right words but never DOES anything unless I ask him to. Actions speak louder than words, ya'll."
I am telling you: 1. He has a serious KNACK for doing/saying the right thing at the right time. 2. HOW on earth do I, little doubter me, deserve to be friends with people who, as a group, care about me enough to think of me when they're having time together after not seeing each other for months? I seriously know how Peter felt after denying Jesus in the Bible!
Dear Emily, STOP BEING A TOOL.
But I can say that I'm better than I used to be [when I was a teen, I would TELL people about this^ and basically freak out to their face. It was bad. I lost friends and I had no idea that that^ was the issue!] and being conscious of this trait is the first step towards becoming better! I'll get there....one day.
And Gentleman Friend is sure helping me learn about how to trust that someone cares deeply, even if they aren't talking to you daily or "liking" the "correct" number of posts on Facebook or whatever. That someone can care deeply AND be independent.
Also, tomorrow is the goats' "Gotcha' Day"!!! I'm excited! Lacey's lesson kid today brought Lacey+the G's a big bag of treats as a present.
Last night Lacey and Hazel wore blankets for the first time since Spring! It was raining ridiculously a lot last night and the poor girls were shivering. So they got blankies. :)