RIGHT, Muumi?! But really, how do you say "oh, so in case you're interested and remember what I said, over 3 years ago, about not dating a person until I've known them for 5 years...you'd be a exception, if you wanted to be." Hah! That wouldn't be an awkward discussion!
and I brought it on myself.
Thanks Christy! :)
Awww, thanks Caroline. :) [love your new avatar, btw!] Good thinking about Atti's training! I'll have to think about some different movements/signals that I could use. I think you're probably super right about that being why he's confused.
I've tested it by just doing verbal cues a few times and he has a much higher ratio of "rightness" with just the verbal...but his response is a whole lot slower. If that makes sense.
Well ya'll, had my first day of school today!
It actually went really super well. My first class was at 8am so I was up at 4:30am to get myself/the animals ready for the day. I was on the train to school by 6:30 and at school by 7:30, it was perfect. Though I realllllly don't know why I'm still up right now, at 8pm. I am so tired. So if this doesn't really make sense, that's why.
I have 4 classes on M/W and one on Friday. 2 back to back [with 10 minutes in between], 45 minute break, then 2 more back to back [10 minutes between].
And I survived day 1.
Go me. Haha
Only 3 more [this 'current' term included] terms to go until graduation!
Today has been something else. But I survived and that's what counts. :)
On the Gentleman Friend front, from last night, = ..........
You guys are going to love this:
So I bought a shirt that says "Alpacalypse" on it because alpacas/llamas are one of our eternal inside jokes [he's the one who got me those llama stamps so so long ago]. He finallllly saw it last night and nearly passed out, he was laughing so hard.
He told me that "that is the greatest tshirt ever"
And I, being a smooooth operator, was all "if they ever go on sale, I'll buy you one!!"
He was like "oh geez, you shouldn't"
And I, continuing with my smooth operation, was all "only if they go on sale, [digging a hole] I'd spend money on you...but only on sale money. Not as much as I paid for this. Oh my gosh, what am I saying? I am the meanest. But really, I'd spend money on you! Just not as much as I paid..." and on for a few more sentences until I forced myself to shut the heck up.
WHAT THE HECK IS WROOOOOONG WITH ME. I should just never speak again.
Luckily he's seen me at worst than this so I don't think he was too hurt or whatever...BUT REALLY. On a list of mean+hurtful things to say, way to hit like the top 10, Emily!!
So that wasn't great. At all. I should just not speak.
Luckily he stuck around for longer than that and I said that in the first couple of minutes we were together, out of probably 10, and I figured out my words better after that. Haha
But, in life developments, his job with the old ladies is apparently ending pretty soon and he's planning to move into Downtown Portland...and who goes to school downtown? Oh yeah, that'd be ME!
I was all "that's awesome! We could hang out for reals!!" and he was all "YEAH! We could get lunch all the time!" and I was all "well...I really don't have a lunch break...." and he was all "oh....then, I'll just come over and walk with you to class!"
Who knows if it would actually happen but, if you recall, this is the same guy who has never actually done anything with me 1:1 and never previously offered to do anything with me 1:1. Besides these church hangouts. The church 'friend-time' is literally the first time I've ever had with just him, us talking without anyone we really know-know super close by, in our entire friendship.
He's always been VERY careful to wrangle another mutual friend/acquaintance to be with us at all times, except for maybe a few 30 second intervals when said friend stepped away or whatever.
Which of course makes me feel...sort of special. I mean in any case, regardless of his 'real' goal, he's making sure there's never any question of anything that could be asked and that he's being really respectful of me! Adorable.
It used to be really frustrating, like "what about me is so repulsive that you can't stand to be alone with me??!", but then I realized that guys who don't care don't act like that. And whether it's friend-caring or other-caring, it's really respectful and it doesn't feel bad to be cared about like that. :)
Anyway, we talked some more, then we parted ways. And I was proud of myself - on parting I gave him a REAL hug. Not just "arms up by shoulders"-hug but an "arms wrapped around the other person"-hug. Those are hard for me and he's basically a professional at them. He knows they're hard for me, he knows that he's 'special' to be getting one hug, let alone 2, from me! Haha But, don't tell anyone, I actually really like hugs from him. They make me feel safe.
I think he got the point, on parting he said "I'm really glad we got to see each other, Emily."
And he NEVER says my name. Ok, he does but it's rare. I rarely call him by name too...how weird is that. Haha
Also, other "Emily should stop writing, she's too tired" point I noticed, when he said my name:
He used to say my name like the soft E-sound [like "embezzle"] was an soft I-sound [like the I sound in "milk"]. Like 'Immm'-ily.
And I HATE that so much when people do that to my name. I don't know why but it makes me feel queasy, not even kidding. Haha
I never said anything to him about it because I know some people just can't hear the difference and I didn't want to make him feel bad about ever saying my name. And I figured I could probably get used to do if that was ever necessary.
But now he's saying my name the "right" way, the way I like, with a soft E-sound. Like 'Ehhh'-mily.
This has happened the last 2 times he's said my name. Before that [see, it happens so little I can remember the times. Lame, I know. Haha], it was 'Immmm'-ily alllllways.
Weird, right? But I'm ok with that!!
Anyhoo. 'Going-to-bed'-time for me, before I share any more "brilliant" insights with the world.
And 2 pictures.
Lacey, at 5am.
White horse in a blackout!
Lacey this evening.
"whatever do you mean, 'don't eat that thistle'? I most certainly can and WILL eat this thistle! And I'll LIKE IT."