Lacey, Fabio and Me: The Neverending Story - Page 77 - The Horse Forum
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post #761 of 1967 Old 12-18-2013, 08:00 PM Thread Starter
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I think it's a good thing, Caroline! At least, according to a variety of credible and non-credible sources... I guess the thinking is that you don't naturally turn yourself and another person into a "we" unless you feel pretty comfortable with them - "we" implies a continuing/future relationship. The thing is the "naturally" bit though - obviously, if you're working together with someone on something or otherwise HAVING to work with someone, you're going to generally say "we" about the situation.
I don't know though. I'm no expert on humanity!

Lacey is looooooving her massages still! She's getting another one tomorrow at 10am - it'll be her third! I think I might hop on her on Friday and ride around the pasture a little, just to see if I can 'feel' it..
But in any case, she's feeling SO much better! I'm really absolutely impressed.
For instance, since she messed up her leg/pastern in the Fall of 2012 and then re-injured herself this last Fall, she's pretty much always "pointed" that leg/toe just a little bit when she's standing around or eating. It ws never all that dramatic, but she definitely hasn't been bearing even pressure on both legs.
Since the second massage on Monday, I haven't seen her point that toe once. She's been evenly standing on BOTH front legs.
She's even resting her hinds less! She usually always stands with a hind leg cocked, but with these massages, she's been standing really square MUCH more often.

I'm all around really really impressed. And really thankful I was able to get these massages for her! She's been so much happier, and she just LOVES getting massaged. The lady who's doing it told me last time that she's never a horse that was "so sweetly grateful". Awwwwwww!

Maybe, if she continues on this trajectory of comfort, we'll be able to go for a trail ride one of these days! I don't want to be toooo optimistic, but maybe part of her discomfort after a longer ride has been due to long-term bodily tension?

In any case, I'm thrilled that this can happen for her.
And see, guys? I have no way to explain it but I'm pretty sure God loves Lacey a lot a lot and makes it really easy for me to care for her "right". I mean, I've never had to pay to board her somewhere in 5 years of ownership, she loves kids and is perfect for lessons = paying for all her food/supplement needs, free massages, 'free' goats, she's never been really sick or really injured - chronic illnesses and her leg thing, sure, but nothing really bad...the list goes on. I just can't explain it any other way.
I'm SO eternally grateful because she really deserves a certain level of care and if I were to try to pay out of pocket for all those things she just "magically" gets...well, lets just be quite assured that there would be absolutely no way. And I would feel terrible cuz she's my baby and, at her age, deserves the very best.

On the goat-front, guess who's learning to bow? Atticus! He's picking it up pretty well too!
I started on it yesterday and he's already beginning to look for treat between his front legs [I'm training this one with the "luring" technique since it's not something he would naturally do - I hold a treat between his front legs and give it to him when he stretches his front legs+head down] when I say "prize"!
I'm using the word "prize" for it because it would be hilarious to eventually be able to say "what do you do when you get a prize?" and have him bow.
Anyway, it'll probably be a few more days before that one is "good enough" for a video but I'll get one! Then you guys will see how much better he is at his other ones too! We've also been working on "stay". "Stay" is a little hard with goat, I find, because, for instance, with a dog, you would have them lay down, then stay. Or sit, then stay. That way it's more immediately obvious when they're thinking about leaving and there's just a titch of extra effort they have to put into leaving. However, for Atti, since goats don't lay down often or sit, it's been hard for him to understand really what I want when I say "stay" since he's just standing - and it's been hard for me to catch him before he moves. Anyway, so far he's staying for longer when I tell him "stay", but it's hard to know WHY he's staying. I'm not sure if he's really put the action together with the word yet.
Basically, we've been working on it when I feed him. I tell him "stay", back off, have him stand for 10, or so, seconds, then say "ok", and let him eat. He definitely knows that "ok" is his release word though!!

Picture time!!

Llamas make me laugh.

Lacey was SO happy to be let out of her stall on Monday morning! haha

Fog pony.
We've been basically living in a cloud for the last week. I can barely remember what the sky looks like.


Last night.

This morning.
Atti REALLY wanted Hazel to play with him.
Hazel REALLY did not want to play.

I hope you guy are doing superbly!!
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Fabio - 13 year old Arabian/Lipizzan gelding

Rest peacefully, Lacey.
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post #762 of 1967 Old 12-19-2013, 02:49 AM
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Hazel and Atti are like my 2 dogs. Roverandom, the male, wants to play with old Tara, the female. However, Tara is almost 12, and Rover is just 3.5, Tara is totally not into games with him anymore. She loves to play with me, so does he, but Tara refuses to play those dog brutal games

I am so happy with how the massages are going. They did mirracles for Teddy too, and I am thinking about asking the girl to massage Grand too - I did see him fall down once, and he was lame due a foreleg and a hindleg this year, so it might be helpful.
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post #763 of 1967 Old 12-19-2013, 10:08 PM Thread Starter
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Haha that's too funny, Cherri! That's exactly how Atti and Hazel are!

Nothing much to report, just checking in.

Lacey was SO naughty for her massage today though. BOO. BAD PONY.
But really. So so naughty. We actually had to end early because she was not cooperating.
She wouldn't stand still, was throwing her head all around, and was just generally being a pill.
It turned out later that she probably needed to pee [she refuses to pee when humans are near her and she went to pee within 3 minutes of being let go] but I would really wish she would have behaved, despite whatever her need was. In any case, the massage-lady wasn't frustrated or anything but it frustrated me!

I made her stand until she relaxed before I let her go, so we ended on a "good note"..but still.

She's getting her next massage on Monday, later in the day. Today's was at 10am and we decided that maybe she just needs more time to "settle" after being stalled all night. The other massages have been in the afternoon and she was a gem for all of them so...fingers crossed!

On the other hand, Lacey and Miss Hazel got their hooves trimmed today by the hoof trimmer. Lacey, mysteriously, behaved perfectly for that.
Actually though, she was a little energetic for that too. Like a Border Collie who's been told "stay" but desperately wants to to checking evvvverything out.
Maybe she DOES need to go for a trail ride...get some of that energy out of her system. I wish there was a way to exercise her *enough* in a low-key enough manner that there was no risk to her leg. Boo.

Huh. Anyway, that was our day!

Fabio - 13 year old Arabian/Lipizzan gelding

Rest peacefully, Lacey.
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post #764 of 1967 Old 12-22-2013, 12:22 AM Thread Starter
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Random Emily blah-blah time:

1. I had a nice thing happen on Thursday! I went out to buy hay, thinking I only had a bale and a half left [about 4, maybe 5, days of hay]. I spent my last $50 buying hay and, though I'm never one to worry about money really, it was mildly worrisome. One of my lesson kids decided to cancel her lessons during the holidays so we only have $20/week coming in...which is ok since I'm really not driving anywhere=don't need gas=$20 can work..but it's less than ideal.
Anyway, spent my last $50 buying 5 bales of local grass hay and a bale of alfalfa. 5 bales of local will last 15-20 days and the alfalfa will last a solid 2-3 months. Add that to what I had at home and I was thinking I might make it 3 weeks before needing to buy hay which is how I like to keep it - I try to keep a week's stockpile of hay around, just in case something happens and I'm not able to get to the feedstore "on schedule".
Anyway, got home, was unloading all the hay and stacking in in the shed when I discovered that I had ANOTHER BALE OF LOCAL hiding under some of Lacey's blankets!
So I have a solid month of hay right now. Talk about a blessing!
I do my best to make hay stretch and not waste it, but they have to eat what they have to eat!

So that was really great. I have 8 bales of hay in my hay storage area=literally stuffed full, and it's wonderful.

2. I'm kind of doing hat you guys have been telling me to do with Gman. Kiiiind of.
Basically, I'm not telling him "that I like him" but I'm also trying to not censor my liking of him out of what I say. Previously I've tried really hard to be "cool" and not really give it away...but I'm going for it right now.
I decided that he's going along with me enough that either something is happening, he's REALLY dumb/oblivious, or he's a huge jerk and knows all of this and is leading me on because he thinks it's funny. HOWEVER, he probably couldn't be more intelligent, he's the most sensitive guy I've ever met [in a GOOD way!], AND, I know for a 10000% fact, he would absolutely never lead me on if he knew but didn't feel the same way.
That basically leaves us with 2 options: him feeling the same way and being unsure of how I feel, or him just being oblivious.
But how oblivious could he possibly be? I mean, the guy is "liking" practically every status I ever post on Facebook [and yes, I maaaay "observe" his close lady friends on Facebook and exactly 0% of them have as much Gman action on evvverything like I do - even his BEST lady friend. #creepin'], FB messaging me allll the time+responding to my texts for as long as I keep responding to him, making time to see me practically every Sunday if he can, and basically seems to believe that I could practically fly if I tried...I don't know what could possibly be going on, if he's just an oblivious bystander...
Of course, he could just think that we've suddenly become BFFs over the last year..but really?

Anyhoo, I'm "doing it." I've been being really, what I feel like, "over the top" with evvvverything. For instance, last night after he posted a picture of him with his guy+girl besties after they picked guy bestie up at the airport, I commented on it about how I felt weird that I couldn't help but smile "back" at them and that the photo made me smile. It was just sickeningly sappy. Something I would have thought and not said, ever. But I said it. And he liked it.
Then I posted a video on his FB wall today of a frolicking baby elk and he loved that even more [he assumed I took the video. AHAHA. Yeah, while I was in my cabin in...Colorado..a million miles from here. Ha. I worry that he has way too high of an impression of me. haha].
And I'm taking him a cupcake at church tomorrow.

Basically, I don't know HOW I could be more obvious..without saying it. I really want him to say it first, I feel like I..I don't know, I guess kind of "run" our relationship and he's so good-natured that he'll just go along with whatever I say. I just have that kind of "take charge"-type personality where, if I want something, very little will stop me in my "quest"....and I feel like that could sometimes steamroll his opinion since he'll nearly go along with whatever.
Basically, I don't want to tell him I like him and have him feel at all obligated to like me back.
This is way mellow-dramatic of me, but, as a girl, my mind has gone there: if we got married one day, I don't think I would ever be satisfied if there was any element of feeling like *I* had coerced him into being with me.
Obviously completely silly - I DOUBT I would be worried about that, at that point! But at the same time..
And he did half-tease me once, a long long time ago, telling me that I should take my "favorite guy" out to Starbucks...maybe he WANTS me to do something. He IS allllllll about "female empowerment". Oh geez.


N O .
We'll give this more time. But I AM going to commit to being less "oh no! You think he knows I like him?? PANICCC." and more "Holla' ya'll. This guy."
Saying what I think and not overthinking that "someone might figure it out". I WANT someone to figure it out.
...then they can tell him and he can ask me out.

*big thoughts from today*

Fabio - 13 year old Arabian/Lipizzan gelding

Rest peacefully, Lacey.

Last edited by Wallaby; 12-22-2013 at 12:27 AM.
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post #765 of 1967 Old 12-22-2013, 12:44 AM
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that reminded me of my first boyfriend, and how frustrating it was wishing HE'd make the first move. Gosh, I'd forgotten all about that.
I think this social expectation of the guy taking the initiative is just a big myth. almost every relationship I know (mine and friends and sibs), it's the GIRL who takes the initiative. the guy will just go along, and go along, and go along, if you let him.
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post #766 of 1967 Old 12-22-2013, 08:03 AM
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I know I haven't commented on this thread, but I enjoy reading it. :) My horse is 20 and I hope she is doing as well as Lacey when she is in her late 20s (and you and I have the same first name ;) )

My advice re boys: (1) Facebook and text messaging are probably the worst thing to have ever happened to relationships. I can't say that the experience of psychoanalysing Facebook posts (or likes) and texts when trying to figure out whether someone is or isn't that into you has ever been a positive one.

(2) Be even more straightforward with him. Don't dance around or hope that he will one day be able to psychoanalyse your texts and Facebook messages. Even the ones that you think are bleedingly obvious. Meet up with him over a drink or a coffee or whatever it is you do and say, "I have such a great time when we hang out together and I think we make a fantastic team, but to be honest, I need to know, is this going anywhere? Where would you like it to go?" Give him a prod, telling him (tactfully) that he needs to man up and figure it out.

It's a bit more of a high stakes game, as it runs the risk of making your friendship really awkward should his reaction be, "Oh, I thought we were just good friends." But I think it's needed because the status quo (from what I read here) is driving you a little bonkers.

(3) Buy yourself a copy of "He's Not That Into You." I'm normally quite cynical about self-help type books, but this one is very funny and gives you a great perspective on relationships and what your expectations should be.
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post #767 of 1967 Old 12-22-2013, 11:56 AM
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So, I've started following this little bloggie-journaley thing more closely...

I want to make sure I'm clear. Gman is a crush, you two aren't in a relationship?

Personally, I don't think texting/messaging is /so/ bad... It gives more time for communication and stuff. Just be careful not to read too much into anything.

The sensitivity of the internet baffles me.
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post #768 of 1967 Old 12-22-2013, 01:37 PM
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Agreed on the texting/FBing is the worst thing to happen to relationships.. honestly agree all the way. It's so easy to psychoanalyze, which you have definitely been doing regarding him not liking something one day, and then consistently liking things other days. A like is what it is described as.. he liked what he read (or if it's pics, he likes what he sees)

I adore someone on my FB but I don't like EVERYTHING of theirs all the time.. just the things I like lol. If I don't like something, then I don't like it.. and I hope that person doesn't think I suddenly hate them or am upset with them haha!

Texting.. good grief the tone is absent and life continues so responses aren't always immediate. That same person I adore would get irritated with me when I wouldn't text him back :P Truth is I never really had my phone with me 24/7 and explained that to him lol. People get so wrapped up in it

Here is my advice, you may take it only if you wish:

Be direct, but not intense, with him. Tell him you enjoy the times you talk together and spend together and that he is very dear to you. I honestly wouldn't ask him if it's going anywhere, per say.. that sounds like you're being impatient or putting pressure on him. He may have no clue that you want a different type of relationship with him. You can be clear without adding pressure.

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #769 of 1967 Old 12-22-2013, 04:44 PM Thread Starter
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Well, everyone, get ready to laugh SO SO SO HARD.

Gman. Yes, Gman. Just told me that he is not interested in women. He's not gay and he's not going to come out as gay, he's just not "defined by his sexuality" or interested in women.


A++++++ for Emily.
However, plus side, this makes our friendship WAY more awesome. So holla at that.

I'm really bummed though...but at the same time, he's the one guy I've ever been close to 'in love' with and, on a scale of "How to be let down easy", this is probably the least hurtful thing that could have occurred. So I'm grateful for that.
And in all honesty, the main emotion I'm feeling is relief. Solid, pure, relief.

Anyway, I don't know what else to say. But that's over.
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Fabio - 13 year old Arabian/Lipizzan gelding

Rest peacefully, Lacey.
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post #770 of 1967 Old 12-22-2013, 05:08 PM
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I admit, I did laugh. At least you now know and can have a normal friendship with the guy and not worry about what his Facebook "likes" mean.

It is a bummer, but clarity is good and there will be other fish in the sea.
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