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A Marines Girlfriend's Journal...

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        06-21-2009, 01:02 AM
      #11
    Green Broke
    I'm so tired. I just got back from a rodeo with Brett. He didn't make his 8. Which means wasted money. He needs more practice. Tomorrow I'm going to start a new workout and eating plan. I have decided I need to shed a few pounds for my health. I don't want to be young and useless.
         
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        06-21-2009, 09:42 AM
      #12
    Green Broke
    Brett called me this morning saying he was having dreams that I would cheat on him when he goes to boot camp. I don't know how to console him as we have been over this before. I have told him a hundred times that I could never do that to him. It hurts me for him to think that I would. I'm really at a loss here. I don't know. He has got to trust me. It's almost like he wants me to hurt him as much as he brings it up that I will. And it hurts me every time he does. I'm so worried that he's going to start thinking "I'm going to hurt her before she hurts me." that's what is scaring me the most. I don't know what I'd do if I lost him.
         
        06-23-2009, 02:44 AM
      #13
    Green Broke
    Well it's been a while since I wrote. Been kinda busy. Brett and I went to the movies last night and tonight we just stayed in and chilled. I think I liked that better. We are doing good. One thing is that his mother moved back in with her husband so no more mooching off brett, at least not as much. He got a $1500 check a while back and she made him give her $1000 of it. Idk why. It's not my business but I can't stand the woman for this and other reasons. She is a very rude person. Brett is everything to me. I can't seem to get over the fact that he is mine.
         
        06-24-2009, 12:56 PM
      #14
    Green Broke
    Well last night was interesting to say the least. We were at Bretts cousins house and they were a few people there, at first it was all good. But people started getting drunk and all hell broke lose. One guy (X) was mad bc the girl he liked wouldnt give him the time of day.... I was talking to X to calm him down and Brett came over thinking that X was trying to hit on me so Brett tried to fight but X walked away. Brett apologised later on. Then the girl that X likes tripped and maybe pulled a ligament in her knee....X tried helping her but she wouldnt let him. He was mad about that as well. Brett was makning me mad so I went inside to get away for a little while, but he followed me in and we got in an arguement. I ended up crying over something he said. I tried to leave but he wouldnt let me. We went into a bedroom to talk and he acused me of cheating again. I swear if he can't learn to trust me idk what I'll do. I don't want to leave him, I can't see that. But getting accused every 5 minutes is really getting old. I have talked to him about it but it's like he doesn't hear me. Maybe I need to take action..............
         
        06-26-2009, 01:35 AM
      #15
    Green Broke
    I'm going to New Braunsfels to tube on the guadalupe river tomorrow! Im excted. But I wont see brett for 3 days! Im sad. I think that the fighting we have done over the past 2 days has done us good. Its like we got everything out in the open and I feel lighter. Sometimes you just need a good argument. Lol. I love brett!!!!!!
         
        06-29-2009, 01:02 PM
      #16
    Green Broke
    Well I got back from the river yesterday! I had soooo much fun! It did get a little crazy lol. A guy from our group climbed up the rock wall and mooned everybody. Haha. It was pretty much just a big party. I didnt get to see Brett until late last night. He is so scared that I can't/won't be able to handle him leaving. He allways assumes that I'm going to leave him. I have told him over and over that I am strong enough. Him leavung isn't going to change my feelings for him and I will be here when he gets back. And if he doesn't come back? I don't know what I will do. It would kill me. But it's a chance I'm willing to take. I can't see myself without him. He is as much a part of me as my legs, lungs, heart, or hands. He completes me. I had people tell me yesterday (before I got to see brett after I got back) that I didnt seem myself. My 2nd mother (as she calls herself lol) told me "girl, you need to go see Bubba." lol My family calls him bubba. Well I'm going to go to Bretts house. Lol tata for now!
         
        07-02-2009, 12:20 AM
      #17
    Green Broke
    Oh man. Me and brett went and got our tongues peirced today. It hurt a lil bit. Lol. It hurts right now. But I really like the way it looks. I wish I had some pics to post but my camera doesnt work for some unknown reason. My mom doesnt like it lol and my sis doesnt either my dad will be pissed and my other sister knew before I got it done. My brother is in austraila so he don't know...but he wouldnt care. I can't belive I had the balls to do it lol. I have decided the next horse I get will be a draft or draft cross. But that wont be for a long time. Im still trying to decide what to do with my life. I want to do something sciencey...thats what I like to do. Biology...genetics, wildlife studies, micro organisms, maybe even microbiology and work with biological weapontry. Idk............. well im going to take some tylonol and go to sleep.
         
        07-02-2009, 10:01 PM
      #18
    Green Broke
    Ugh. My tongue is so sore. It hurts to eat. But I really like the way it looks and feels. Me and brett did alot of fighting today. Not very good. Most of it was my fault. I just was in a mood I guess. It was like every little stupid thing he did got on my nerves. Idk what it was. But im over it now. I think brett has self confidence issues. I cannot say anything negative and I am allways kidding when I do. I hate hurting him. Though sometimes I don't think before I speak. I cooked spaghetti for us tonight but he doesnt like spaghetti sauce. Weird. It's going to be hard to choose what to eat if we get married. Lol. I wont mind though.
         
        07-04-2009, 11:13 PM
      #19
    Green Broke
    Brett really hurt me today. It's our 3 months and he said we would go out to eat. But I had alot of work to do today and I told him that I wouldnt be there until later. When I finally get done and call him he's drinking with his friends. When he drinks he acts like an idiot. And we ALLWAYS fight when he drinks. So I decided I would go over there with him cause I really wanted to see him. He then asks me to take him and his friedn to alvin to a rodeo. I didnt wnat to but he said there would be a dance afterwards. I love dancing. Well we get there and the rodoe is pretty much over and there is no dance. I have yet to tell him that im mad bc he didnt wait on me for our dinner plans. He chats it up and has a good time while I sit in the truck. I finally tell him that I don't want to be there and I want to leave. So he goes and finds his frind to tell him that he's leaving. 45 mins later he comes back. All the way home we fight. About how he didnt think of me about how im allways angry about how he didnt wait for me, and then he says this "You're just like everybody else" it brings tears to my eyes just to think about it. That hurt me so much. I have never been hurt by a guy as much as that hurt me. I couldnt think I could barely breathe, it hit like a train. I honestly can't remeber what was said the rest of the ride home. He apologised for it, but I still havent completly forgiven him. I admit that I have done wrong and yelled at him when I shouldnt have. I know that i'm not perfect and I probably don't deserve him but he shouldnt have said that. And he should have waited for me. I mean its our anniversary. Kinda. Lol. I hate it when he talks himself down. It bothers me alot. I have alot jumbled in my head right now so its taking me forever to type this. Im over being mad. Im still kinda hurt. And I hate it when he accuses me of cheating. It's getting really old. Well my head hurts so im done for now.
         
        07-04-2009, 11:16 PM
      #20
    Green Broke
    Im sorry
         

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