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My Journey in Becoming a Strong Leader

340K views 5K replies 85 participants last post by  Hoofpic 
#1 ·
Yes I am starting my journal. Here we go.

I titled this thread as is, because this is essentially what I've been told by many people to what my mare needs, a "Strong Leader" which is 100% true. So this is my ultimate goal with my mare, to become as strong of a leader as I am capable of being.

Riding my mare this Friday. :D
 
#7 ·
Good luck on Friday!

I just had one comment from your thread (no, I'm not starting anything!!)

You mentioned maybe getting a Back On Track pad for her. I know @Wallaby has one for Fabs. He apparently likes it, but if I remember correctly it can be very overwhelming when first starting out. I just don't want to see your exciting day go badly because she got overwhelmed at the saddle pad!

Also, what is your mares name? I don't think I've seen it mentioned :lol:
 
#10 ·
Thanks, I love it too! When I first got her, I remember one of the boarders at the old barn asked me what her name was and I told her. She goes "as in fly on the wall?"....are you going to change it?" Im like "uhh why? I love her name".:icon_rolleyes:
 
#18 · (Edited)
I had another great lesson today with my outside trainer.

The only thing I find is the most difficult learning from a Parelli trainer is that they are so specific in the techniques. Like when you do it after, it has to be bang on.

Because of this, some times Ive had difficulty comprehending instructions as its taken me a bit longer to learn and grasp on but once I do, its good as gold.

I dont know what it is, but I find my body language is more on edge when working with instructors when it comes to groundwork (its because I know I have a set of eyes on me that are analyzing me), but once Im on my own, Im almost like a completely different person. I felt this on Monday night when I brought my mare into the arena (just her and I) and I did some groundwork with her and I tell you, over the past few weeks, things (that havent before) have started to now feel natural to me. I think its my confidence. I have more confidence today than I did a month ago and I can feel it.

She told me again today that she truly believes I shouldnt be riding my mare on Friday because my mare is very green and green + green = black and blue. She just said that "shes not good enough on the ground"...."This is why Pat always says, before getting on a horse, that horse must have this, this, this checked off meaning they're solid on the ground"....."Your mare has some check marks, but not enough".

She said shes just looking out for my safety and I told her that I appreciate her looking out for me.

But I also told her, Im just going by my gut feeling. I told her that Im confident and I will be recording it and I will show it to her after. She said she cant wait to see it. I want nothing more than to prove her wrong that I am capable riding my mare.
 
#24 ·
She told me again today that she truly believes I shouldnt be riding my mare on Friday because my mare is very green and green + green = black and blue. She just said that "shes not good enough on the ground".... I want nothing more than to prove her wrong that I am capable riding my mare.
Remember that you HAVE ridden Fly before!!

I don't agree with the Parelli notion that everything has to be "good enough" on the ground before moving on to riding. It's not like you expect to be riding a Grand Prix dressage test tomorrow! And until someone is sitting on your mare, she will continue to be green under saddle - no amount of groundwork changes that.

Take a deep breath, get on, grin like a fool, and enjoy every moment of riding Fly.
 
#20 ·
Hoofpic, I think you're more than ready for Fly! Just get on her & forget about being watched (I know how that feels, it does make a difference, but try to put it out of your head...just you, and your horse...just BE THERE).

Good thoughts sent to you for Friday!
 
#21 ·
Thanks. Im confident that Im ready. I know its hard for my outside trainer to judge me as a rider because shes never seen me ride before, which is why I cant be upset with her for saying I shouldnt be riding my mare.

She said shes not upset that Ive decided to ride her, but she still strongly feels that my mare is nowhere even close to having anyone on her back (which IMO she is wrong on this one). If anything, she needs to be ridden right NOW. Not a month later, not even two weeks later. Now. Shes more curious to see how I do and I am going to surprise her. She's doubting me in that Im a capable rider to ride my mare and I will prove her wrong.
 
#22 ·
To me this parelli trainer may have helped you in beginning but think now is hindering your advancement & confidence.:icon_rolleyes: Too much listening to her groundwork & babying you along...you are not using your own instinct & observation when interacting with your mare. Got to do more listening to your horse, less to her & you will click/communicate better!!! I really think YOU have that in you! to read your horse without someone telling you different & ultimately making your doubt yourself & your mare's ability. Need to trust in yourself & your horse you will succeed:wink:
 
#28 ·
Well I dont think shes holding me back, shes helping me out immensely but I just think shes a bit limited in what she thinks I can do with my mare and that is because she hasnt seen me ride before. But once I show her the video this weekend, hopefully it will change her opinion.
 
#23 ·
I agree, you are READY to ride your horse. And ride her tomorrow. I have full faith you will do fine! And you know what, sometimes green and green doesn't turn out as bad as a lot of us know it can be. Below is a picture of my husband on my mare. She was just freshly broke, only steering from the reins since we ground drove her all over the farm. My husband only did guided trail rides prior to this. The difference is I was right there with him. And your trainer will be right there with you. You can do this! I KNOW you can!

 
#29 ·
Thanks Tazzie. Sounds like your hubby did great. No looking down at the ears!.:D Is that a bike helmet he is wearing? Looks very sporty for a riding helmet

Remember that you HAVE ridden Fly before!!

I don't agree with the Parelli notion that everything has to be "good enough" on the ground before moving on to riding. It's not like you expect to be riding a Grand Prix dressage test tomorrow! And until someone is sitting on your mare, she will continue to be green under saddle - no amount of groundwork changes that.

Take a deep breath, get on, grin like a fool, and enjoy every moment of riding Fly.
Though really brief (and at bareback), yes I have rode my mare before I bought her

I agree with you that if I want my mare to become less green, she needs to be ridden.

When I was talking with my riding coach last weekend, she said "Yes she is green, but shes not as green as you think she is"....simply cause shes had the training last fall from her and she felt shes made huge progress during that time, plus me as a rider.
 
#25 ·
I just want to add my words of encouragement as well. I think you will find that the bond with your horse only deepens once you start riding her. I lost my gelding 1 month ago - he was born here at our place and was 13 when he passed away. I got a new horse pretty quickly as I am an avid trail rider. Her ground manners are terrible! And I was second guessing myself. I have ridden her a few times now and she is great under saddle. The more I ride her the better her ground manners are getting.

I think you may find this with Fly as well. Really looking forward to hearing how your ride goes.

We are all rooting for you!
 
#26 ·
This is an old picture, but it is my youngest learning to ride on a just-broke to ride Arabian mare:



Notice the fire-breathing green-broke mare trying to hurt her very green rider? Neither do I. Lilly was a total sweetheart. Tell her "Please" and "Thank you", and she would give you everything she had!

There are horses that will try to do things wrong, but I think they may be more common as very experienced and arena sour lesson horses than as green broke horses. They can spook, but any horse on any given day CAN spook. I hope to get a ride in this morning before the winds pick up (predicted 40 mph this afternoon). My horse could spook.

Mia spooked on me when I first started riding. I got her stopped, tried to dismount before her mind was back, and she exploded in mid-dismount. It was my one fall, and did this:



That soft tissue damage still aches several times a week, after 7 years. So yes, you can get hurt. My horse could slip on the pavement today, and I'll be hurt.

Risk free means never riding. It also means no groundwork with horses. I've hit the ground far more times while standing near a horse than from their backs. For complete safety, don't go near a horse.

Parelli has an obsession with ground work. I've seen no more than 50% of groundwork carry over to behavior under saddle. At best. If someone tried to do a Parelli ground work test with Bandit, they would say he was unrideable. Totally unready to ride. Even though he has years of riding on him. And I think too much ground work annoys a horse. Horses like purpose. They like DOING things together. And none of mine see any purpose in doing circles, or being poked or having a lead rope shook in their face.
.
"...There is another thing to be considered with regard to the horse's character - it loves to exercise its powers, and it possesses a great spirit of emulation; it likes variety of scene and amusement; and under a rider that understands how to indulge it in all this without overtaxing its powers, will work willingly to the last gasp,which is what entitles it to the name of a noble and generous animal...

...Horses don't like to be ennuye, and will rather stick at home than go out to be bored ; they like amusement, variety, and society : give them their share of these, but never in a pedantic way, and avoid getting into a groove of any kind, either as to time or place, especially with young animals
."


- On Seats and Saddles, by Francis Dwyer, Major of Hussars in the Imperial Austrian Service (1868)
.
Written 148 years ago by a military officer. It has more to do with building a bond with your horse than anything I've found in Parelli's book. Now, in fairness to Parelli, a lot of people have been helped by his methods. But no one becomes a horseman by using a cookie-cutter approach to horses. When you trust your instinct, you will sometimes be wrong and may get hurt - but there is no other path to learning how to work with horses. IMHO. But no one would ever pay me for advice...
 
#32 ·
This is an old picture, but it is my youngest learning to ride on a just-broke to ride Arabian mare:



Notice the fire-breathing green-broke mare trying to hurt her very green rider? Neither do I. Lilly was a total sweetheart. Tell her "Please" and "Thank you", and she would give you everything she had!

There are horses that will try to do things wrong, but I think they may be more common as very experienced and arena sour lesson horses than as green broke horses. They can spook, but any horse on any given day CAN spook. I hope to get a ride in this morning before the winds pick up (predicted 40 mph this afternoon). My horse could spook.

Mia spooked on me when I first started riding. I got her stopped, tried to dismount before her mind was back, and she exploded in mid-dismount. It was my one fall, and did this:



That soft tissue damage still aches several times a week, after 7 years. So yes, you can get hurt. My horse could slip on the pavement today, and I'll be hurt.

Risk free means never riding. It also means no groundwork with horses. I've hit the ground far more times while standing near a horse than from their backs. For complete safety, don't go near a horse. Thursday, May 5, 2016
Ouch that looks very painful.:sad: I agree that there is risk with everything. If you dont want any risk, dont be around horses at all. Im willing to take the risk, I never once was doubting whether or not I should. Obviously my outside trainer doesnt think I should take the risk.

Parelli has an obsession with ground work. I've seen no more than 50% of groundwork carry over to behavior under saddle. At best. If someone tried to do a Parelli ground work test with Bandit, they would say he was unrideable. Totally unready to ride. Even though he has years of riding on him. And I think too much ground work annoys a horse. Horses like purpose. They like DOING things together. And none of mine see any purpose in doing circles, or being poked or having a lead rope shook in their face.
.
"...There is another thing to be considered with regard to the horse's character - it loves to exercise its powers, and it possesses a great spirit of emulation; it likes variety of scene and amusement; and under a rider that understands how to indulge it in all this without overtaxing its powers, will work willingly to the last gasp,which is what entitles it to the name of a noble and generous animal...

...Horses don't like to be ennuye, and will rather stick at home than go out to be bored ; they like amusement, variety, and society : give them their share of these, but never in a pedantic way, and avoid getting into a groove of any kind, either as to time or place, especially with young animals
."


- On Seats and Saddles, by Francis Dwyer, Major of Hussars in the Imperial Austrian Service (1868)
.
Written 148 years ago by a military officer. It has more to do with building a bond with your horse than anything I've found in Parelli's book. Now, in fairness to Parelli, a lot of people have been helped by his methods. But no one becomes a horseman by using a cookie-cutter approach to horses. When you trust your instinct, you will sometimes be wrong and may get hurt - but there is no other path to learning how to work with horses. IMHO. But no one would ever pay me for advice...
I agree with this. I do think that groundwork can only achieve so much and that horses are more annoyed by it and getting poked by the carrot stick more than anything.
 
#30 ·
Looking forward to following your journey c:

You seem to defend your Parelli trainer a lot. Can I ask what you're hoping to gain and learn from continuing lessons with her? --This is a genuine question, not trying to be snarky D: <3<3
 
#35 ·
Im hoping to learn to become the best leader that Im capable being. And she gives me a lot of confidence. I can tell that she has very high standards from when she just teaches me but Ive already seen the benefits and started to feel the rewards soon after re-connecting with her. I cant even explain it in words just how much shes been to me so far.
 
#33 ·
I jist picked up my saddle pad. Finally the store got a 3/4" contour diamond pad at 28" length.

Fly cant take anything longer than a 28" not even a 30".

And i wanted 3/4" over 1".

But the dollar went up and the prices on these diamonds are crazy now. If i went with the 1" pad version, it would be $210cdn. But the 3/4" is $100 more. So i paid $310cdn for this pad. Wow. Not happy about the price but because i wanted diamond so bad and needes these measurements, i have no choice
 
#42 ·
He's only gotten better. I let him trail ride that horse where ever he wants to go. I'm always right by him.

And he seems to like it! Shame they are pricey up there :sad: it's one of the more affordable ones here. And he doesn't ride a lot, so he didn't need a crazy expensive one. I have a Tipperary, and I love it! My husband used to whine I made him ride in a helmet, since a lot of our friends don't. I said I love him, and he doesn't need a bigger injury from falling. He doesn't whine anymore since I've also never ridden without a helmet.
 
#43 ·
My husband used to whine I made him ride in a helmet, since a lot of our friends don't. I said I love him, and he doesn't need a bigger injury from falling. He doesn't whine anymore since I've also never ridden without a helmet.
I was very surprised that my husband, who is a former Marine and not always the most safety-conscious :icon_rolleyes: , insisted that when he starts riding and taking lessons, he wants a helmet. I'm pretty sure this is the look I had on my face: :shock: . :lol: However, he's smart about it. He has a TBI and three titanium plates in his face, so he knows that a fall could, in reality, kill him.
 
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