I've decided to let myself make a journal here about my journey in training Boots and his big sister, April. As you may have guessed, it'll be mostly about little Boots. He was born May of 2011. I arrived 45 minutes after his birth. He was beautiful and adorable, and needless to say it was insta-love I couldn't permit myself to fall for. Recently, though, a sliver of an oppurtunity has presented itself. I have not yet decided if I'm absolutely sure that I'll buy him.
My parents pay my phone bill and car insurance. They tell me my car is about $100 - I often wonder if they are just tying to scare me with it. My papa has told me I don't deserve a horse until I can pay those bills myself. I could agree if it wasn't for my mental health - something my papa seems to have a hard time accepting. I suffer heavily from depression and nearly anything can trigger it or my suicidal behavior. I have a hard time holding back the need to drive myself into the trees some days. I'm also perma-stressed and have people anxiety so bad that work is rather difficult. I manage, but barely.
Horses have always made me forget my worries. To me, I have never had a human/animal partnership like me with a horse. I'm not saying I'm amazing, great, or even good with horses. I'm saying horses are amazing, great and good with me. They make my heart complete. I have rats who I love dearly, but not even they can fill that little hole.
The reasons I have given you are my reasons for seriously considering purchasing Boots while my parents are not looking. It's wrong, but it'll feel right. I don't care if I lose my phone, and I'll worry about my car when that bridge arrives. I need this - I need him.
So here it is. The journal of me, Boots, and the story we write.