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Road Apples

6K views 46 replies 9 participants last post by  jaydee 
#1 · (Edited)
Written by Jenny (dernhelm1984)​
I am 29 years old, female, and have loved and ridden horses since I was a little kid. The end!​
Just kidding. I should mention that I am an Aspie and have also struggled with treatment-resistant major depressive disorders and an anxiety disorder my entire life. Over the past four years I've struggled with my weight due to emotional eating and medications and I am currently on Nutrisystem and trying to get back into shape.​
Horses have always been a gigantic part of my life. They don't care that I am a little different, and that's a beautiful thing. I am sure a lot of you folks taking time to read this understand.​
Anyway as of today, May 20th of 2014, I'd like to record my horse riding experiences for fun and hopefully to learn too!​
As of now I own two Tennessee Walking horses:​
Traveller, a 13 year old, 15.0 hands, stocky bay tobiano with a bit of an attitude. My other TWH is black and white tobiano Reb, who I just bought in December of last year - Reb turned five in March. He is 14.3 hands and very narrow compared to Traveller. He is my "Mr. Congeniality."​
I live in the Texas Panhandle. The last few winters have been pretty brutal. We are in the middle of a huge drought and to top it all off, my city was crowned "America's Windiest City" a few days ago (take that, Chicago! What a minute... that's not a good thing....).​
Although I got a few rides and groundwork sessions in with Reb (Traveller is one of those horses you can leave out in the pasture for two years and then ride him, and he'll act perfectly), I didn't get nearly as many as I wanted the past five months due to weather.​
That changed starting today.​
(Figured I would do a short introductory post - will write about today with Reb later.)​
PS: Why on earth am I not being allowed to space out paragraphs??​
 
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#3 ·
Today was my first time out to actually ride since early April.

My plan was to continue to get acquainted with Reb and vice versa. Since I hadn't been able to spend nearly as much time with him this year thus far due to weather and my other stuff (I shall just try to refer to my Asperger's Syndrome, Major Depressive Disorder, and anxiety disorder as "my other stuff" from now on) happening.

From my past riding/ground work experience with him, Reb had clearly not accepted me as the boss horse in our little herd of two. He had always listened well enough under saddle (and he is a FUN, peppy little guy to ride) but on the ground? Oh, that was a different story.

On the ground Reb would constantly neigh and look around for other horses. I gave him his first bath earlier this month and while he stood still and was a gentleman, he also spent the entire time neighing and looking around for the other horses.

I was irritated. I was giving him a bath and moving around him all over the place, and his attention needed to be on ME and where I was. Not his fault since I hadn't been able to work with him very much before now. I knew basic groundwork was in order but didn't get a chance to do it until earlier today.

Didn't know how well it was going to go, mainly because last week I had a change in my anti-depressants and am still dealing with side effects, including feeling a bit "wired." However I was stable enough by today and have been desperate to get out and work with my new horse so we can start bonding as a team so I got myself out of bed this morning and had my mother drive me out to the barn (I am extremely high functioning when it comes to my Asperger's. I live in my own house. I feed myself. I take care of my pets. I run a little business on eBay even. But when it comes to driving myself places, I space out on the road and just can't do it because it's unsafe. So my mother, who you will be hearing more about if you follow this journal, gets me out there).

Reb and Traveller were mulling around near the gate as usual; Reb immediately came over to see if any treats were to be had. I caught him using my rope halter, groomed him, saddled him, and off we went to the big arena for some serious "I am the one in charge, Reb" work.

The few times I've worked with Reb on the ground before, he would pull that neighing to the others business, stop paying attention to me, and would freak out when I made a move because he wasn't watching. Today was going to be different; I was extremely determined to get this partnership moving and I had walked out of my house with the most dominant, "I am the boss" manner and was ready to get that horse's attention, no matter how long it took.

I know my demeanor made a difference. It's been a while since I've had a newbie and really had to establish dominance with him so I am pretty sure I'd been too lax in the few ground sessions I'd done with Reb before that hadn't gone as well as they needed to. So gold star for me! Yay!

Reb was in the habit of not listening to my verbal commands while on the ground. Under saddle? He listens. But on the ground he just wasn't there yet (again, my fault).

So we started with "whoa." I lunged him around me and would firmly say "whoa" - for the first few times, he would just run even faster around me until I pulled him to a stop to face me. I had my new treat bag (Reb responds really well to treats) and that reinforcement along with stroking his neck got him to catch on quick! I was very happy. He got to the point where he was stopping and letting me move all around his body from the length of the rope without moving.

The best part? He didn't neigh once. His attention was completely on me. I was so proud!! It was like he was a completely different horse than the one I'd last encounter who thought a fly more important than me.

We worked on bending and flexing on the ground for just a little while before I decided to end the groundwork on a good note.

I changed out the halter for the bridle and got on the little ******. We went around the arena several times, and it was clear he was in a very lazy mood... so I decided it would be fun to challenge him by reintroducing a few elements that he balked at on our first trail ride a few months ago. Namely: a big scary decorative plow, a big scary pile of rocks, and some big scary cattle. :-p

He was particularly hesitant at the big scary pile of rocks but soon realized that figure eights and circles were a lot less fun than just going by the rocks without a fuss. Around the cattle he did well - he wasn't sure what to think of the little calves running around which was pretty cute actually. We herded a few of the steers; Reb is still not horribly impressed with them because when I stopped him, he gave me a looong snort.

We also went down a not-very-steep trail because I wanted to see how well he watched his feet. On the way back up, Mr. Reb couldn't decide which path he wanted to take and ran me smack through a tree on accident; it was one of those awkward moments in which your butt lifts out of the saddle and when it lands, it is way too far back in the saddle. I wasn't in danger of falling off, but it was amusing.

Still no neighing for the others! I was thrilled!

We headed back after that; I took him past all of the scary stuff again and he did very well ignoring it. He was clearly ready to go home but he listened when I told him to slow his walk down and relax. I decided not to make it easy for him and we went out of our way to go around some of the buildings and pens between us and his pasture.

By the time we ended the ride, Reb was the most relaxed I've ever seen him. He didn't throw his head up in surprise when I was walking him back to his pasture and reached out to stroke his neck; he simply let me do it. He had his head down, his ears floppy, etc.

So Operation: "I Am the Leader Here, Reb" was a success today! My confidence is up again and I am so proud of Reb. He did fantastically. Our groundwork adventures are not over yet but this was a wonderful start!
 
#4 ·
They're beautiful. I've got a walking horse too...its a little different terrain here in E. Tennessee but hey.....T for Texas...T for Tennessee....:)

Please, keep us updated...
 
#6 ·
Thanks to those who look the time to post here! :)

So the ride on Reb in the last post was the last time I'd ridden this summer until yesterday. That was over two months of no riding! :evil: And the last time I'd ridden Traveller was in April since I'd been getting to know Reb. Needless to say, these past two months have not been the best ever.

What happened? Well, to keep it short my psychiatrist took me off of a strong medication that I'd been taking for a year or two now early in Jun, and I have been going through what has been the WORST withdrawal I'd ever experienced in 16 years of taking antidepressants. It is nearing the end of July, and I am *still* fighting it. It has been hard to even get out of bed.

I had been planning to ride a lot this summer and my plans didn't come to fruition. :cry: It has been green and beautiful here in the Panhandle, probably one of the best summers we have had in a while, and I've been spending it in bed. ARGH! Anyway, I'd seen Reb and Traveller a few times to love on them and check to make sure the fly situation has been under control but hadn't been riding.

One of my biggest concerns was Reb. I know Traveller like the back of my hand and wasn't too worried about him not being worked because he is the kind of horse who stays trained even if you don't ride him for a year. Since I'd only had Reb since December, and the dust storms made it very hard to ride this spring so I don't know him nearly as well as I would like to by now.

One of my biggest horse owning fears? That my horse(s) will manage to completely forget all of his training if I don't ride consistently and turn into a complete hooligan who need to be retrained to get back to where we were the last time I rode. I used to own horses that did this to an extent when I was younger. Every horse is different in this respect, I know, but I was fretting that Reb, being only five and neither of us being nearly as acquainted with each other as I think we should have been, might have some respect issues or something since I hadn't ridden him consistently. Not that this couldn't easily be fixed if it happened, but for some reason the idea that I was guilty of letting Reb down somehow was lodged in my already crazy brain as I was in bed for weeks.

Yesterday something unexpected happened. My twin sister who I didn't think enjoyed horseback riding anymore wanted to take some pictures with her new camera for a photography class she is taking and asked me if we could go see my horses because they are very photogenic and the landscape is beautiful at the moment. Although my brain was and is still foggy from the withdrawal, I realized that it would be a great opportunity to fool around with Reb, especially since my sister would be there to help me saddle up (my body has gotten ridiculously weak over the past two months). And if I got there and didn't feel up to riding, I could do some ground work with him at least.

We drove out, and the boys were glossy and bright-eyed as usual. They both immediately came up to see if we had treats when we pulled up (they know my car ridiculously well). I got Reb out and saddled him up, and my sister suddenly mentioned that she didn't think she'd ever ridden Traveller (she had a few years ago but that's all). I hadn't counted on her wanting to ride but I offered to saddle up Traveller for her and was glad when she agreed.

The outdoor arena was empty, and I took Reb inside to see how he was going to act. After several times around the place, it was VERY apparent that my horse wanted to be lazy - I had to really put the pressure on to get him to do his running walk which was interesting because if he is feeling a little frisky, he loves to try and go straight into that gait. It was pretty obvious that I wasn't going to need take him to the round pen before riding, and I was thrilled.


(My sister took this picture in the arena. Featuring Traveller's head and Reb's butt!)

My sister had been following us around on Traveller and said she would be up for a ride out in one of the big pastures around the ranch if I want to do it. I agreed, and we left the arena and took off onto the trails (well, the pasture; we followed some cattle trails but mainly forged our own path since you can easily see the terrain).

Both horses were *fabulous*! Traveller took care of my sister like I knew he would, and I led the way on Reb who I hadn't taken too far out into the pasture before then. Reb was mostly concerned about when/if I would let him forage a little bit and, although he was a little unsure about the cars as we moved towards the fence between the pasture and the highway, he followed my cues perfectly and was just a happy little dude in general.

I cannot tell you how finally riding and finding that *BOTH* my horses are excellent mounts even when they haven't been ridden in a few months took such a big load off of my mind!! I really shouldn't have been worried in the first place but as I said I just had a weird fear about not riding them for such a long time and then having them be testy due to it since I have had a lot of horses who were that way.

Particularly I was proud of little Reb! We only walked the pasture with a little running walk here and there since I didn't want to make him do anything too hard as he hadn't been ridden for a while. Plus I could tell that I need to regain some strength I've lost in withdrawal because while I wasn't flopping all over the place, I know I wasn't nearly at my best on his back.

So that's my second journal entry - it took a while to be able to write here, but it was worth the wait. I will get back into teaching Reb a few things in the round pen and hope I can fully recover and get my strength back soon too. Even though yesterday was just a simple, quiet trail ride, it was just what I needed! :D

 
#7 ·
They're both beautiful! I love Paint horses, particularly bay/brown but black comes in a close second! If they ever get on your bad side I'd buy them, lol. I like TWH also because the one I rode had the greatest canter ever!

Great job with the ride!
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#8 ·
Dernhelm1984 - I have just discovered your thread. Congratulations on getting through a tough couple of months, and way to go for riding today!

I will come back here to look for updates :)
 
#9 ·
I hope you're past the worst part and able to ride when you want to.....

I've decided to give my horses 8 weeks off to get past the hottest time of the year.....and darned if that polar vortex didn't cool things down to near September weather.

I take it the sames been true for Texas?
 
#10 ·
Sorry it's taken me so long to reply!! As of today my psychiatrist wants me to try a "medical supplement" instead of Abilify... but I am hesitant to try it. :-| This whole fiasco has really made me leery of getting on anything new since I am understandably put out from the last two months. I know antidepressants help a lot of people but they honestly haven't really helped me in the 20 or so years I've been on them.

Roman: LOL I will tell Traveller you said that you like him the best. It strokes his little ego! :wink:

Shropshirerosie: Thank you for the encouragement! It means more to me than you know! :D

gunslinger: Actually when I wrote my last blog here, the weather was still up in the high 80s to high 90s in Texas... but over the past three or four days, things have gotten really overcast and nice!! If only it stays this way! *crosses fingers* :-p
 
#11 · (Edited)
So, remember the mellow, obedient, wonderful horse who took me on such a wonderful ride the other day and who happens to be named “Reb?”


Well, that Reb decided to take the day off today. Because the horse I rode today (also, ironically, named Reb – looks exactly like him too! How coincidental!) was nothing like the easy going, sweet horse I rode out on the trail last time.


Oh no, THIS Reb was a complete and utter turd to put it nicely.


I don't know what got into him today. I really, really do not.


My mother wanted to try and trail ride with me. She has ridden off and on for years and knows the basics and has been riding Traveller in the arena with me. Since the ride with my sister went perfectly last time and I knew she'd be fine on Traveller, I agreed. Both Traveller and Reb were being the same lazy eyed creatures that they've always been so why not?

We tacked up without a problem. The weather was nice and it felt like such a good day to ride, and we went through the gate we have to pass through from the boarding area into the pasture/trail area and on our merry way. I was planning on going the same path I'd taken my sister on since the horses had done so well there.

Then the games began.

Almost immediately when we started to head up the rode, Reb started fart-footing around with me. He didn't want to move forward at all but I made him anyway; then he was trying to walk sideways with me. He wasn't looking at anything in particular or acting spooky. Traveller was pretty much right next to us so he wasn't being buddy sour. This went on for a few minutes; I kept pushing him forward even though he clearly didn't want to go. Traveller, on the other hand, was just peachy and walking along without a problem as always.

I had been leading (just like I did on him the other day) but Mom suggested that she lead for a while and maybe Reb would chill out. That didn't work. In fact Reb took the opportunity to bounce around a tad, which REALLY started to irritate me as I suspected that he was just testing me and trying to turn around and head back home.

We were headed uphill very slowly since my horse was being a complete case, and then I don't fully remember what happened next. I think my mother was getting nervous by Reb's shenanigans and somehow turned Traveller around towards the gate while I was making Reb circle and bend and flex. I called out to tell her to stop but I was too late, and Reb flounced when he saw Traveller turned the other way. It seemed to be the excuse he had been waiting for because he crow-hopped and took off at full speed towards the gate. I brought his head around once we were clear of Traveller and Mom and disengaged his hindquarters, and he stopped.

I was NOT a happy camper with him at this point. I refuse to let any of my horses act like this, and I was about 90% sure by then that Reb was trying to push my buttons. The only thing that makes me question if he wasn't? He flared his nostrils and gave two rough, vibrating, loud snorts while facing back up the trail; I think I've only ever had horses do that when they are concerned about something. Reb did it a while back when I was introducing him to cattle. So I guess I will never know.

I went ahead and dismounted when he'd stopped because I was concerned now about Reb riling up Traveller with my Mom.

Checked all of his tack first thing - the same tack he always wears. Looked him over to see if he was in pain or I had missed something, anything, that might be affecting him. Watched him to see if he seemed in pain. Found nothing wrong with his tack. Found no reason why he would be in pain physically.

I took Reb into a little clearing with the intention of reminding him with some basic groundwork just who the boss here is and that his attention needed to be on ME and only me. I stopped him and then gently swung the end of the rein at his hindquarters and moved in that direction to see if he was listening and would yield to me.

Well, he acted as though I were about to beat him over the head. Instead of yielding, he jerked himself backwards with all of his might and broke the rein. Cue Mr. Horse trotting away and going to fight with some nearby horses over the fence while I watched him in disbelief. Oh, he was having a wonderful time eating grass, squealing at the horses over the fence, and running from me with his tail high in the air! I could have KILLED him.

Since the pasture is huge and he wasn't letting me get close, we opened the gate (Mom had dismounted by then) and took Traveller through it. Reb figured out that it was open and ran his little butt through the gate and back to his pen.

Just thinking about it makes me turn red. I was livid and fully prepared to catch that snot, take his butt to the round pen for a nice long reminder that he is not in charge and his attention must be on me, and then I was prepared to get back on him and ride his butt all the way back out to the pasture, make sure he wasn't going to continue being an idiot, and to ride him around out there for good measure.

By then it was the heat of the day. I was about to fall over from trying to round up my horse in the field. We walked all the way back with Traveller, caught Reb, and went to regroup and get new reins. Reb, of course, was as happy as he could be with himself. He put down his head, shut his eyes halfway, let Mr. Willy hang loose when I put on his halter. Oh, I was ITCHING to get a hold of him and go to the round pen.

This is the part that frustrates me the most. I am really disappointed in myself.

As I've said, I've basically been in bed due to a medication change for the last two months. My body has lost a lot of stamina since A. I've been in bed and B. it is still trying to work itself out from the medication change. Not to mention that I've been out of shape in the first place for a while now.

I went to sit down and chill out before I took Reb to the round pen, and it became apparent that my limbs were about to fall off at that point from just trying to round him up out in the pasture. My body felt like it was just sagging towards the ground.

Like I mentioned, I don't let my horses pull this kind of thing and get away with it. I wanted to do what I've always done in said situations and give him a gigantic reminder that I am in charge here, to take his butt right back up that trail, etc. But I didn't.

I am so out of shape that I pretty much had gone limp. I sat there for a while trying to muster up the strength to stand up and take Reb to the round pen because I **couldn't** let him get away with what he did. (I won't put up with that crap from him. He can't be allowed to think I will.)

Yet he won today. I could barely stand and was just too fatigued at that point to even try. Mom had to carry the saddles back to the car for me; I couldn't even do that. I was busy feeling like I was about to pass out.

I am very upset with myself for not being able to finish what I needed to do with Reb today. I am probably being overly dramatic but it was just lousy. :evil:

I will be going after him very soon (hopefully tomorrow) to check out his ground manners and to hopefully ride him up that trail. I'll get my trainer involved if that doesn't go well and if I need some extra strength.
 
#12 ·
Feeling better today! Interesting how a nice, long sleep can do that to a person. ;) I need to focus on the positives happening with my body strength, not the negatives. I am losing weight AND I am regaining muscle and stamina - yesterday was just an unfortunate day that required more in me than I have back quite yet. I will be more prepared when I head out (hopefully today) and figure out what was going on with Reb yesterday.
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#13 ·
Today I went out to ride Reb alone so I could see if I could pinpoint whatever caused him to act up on our last ride. And I ended up very discouraged and having to think about if I really should just have one horse, not two.

There are some obvious factors that I will bring up immediately:

- I bought Reb in December of last year because I wanted a second horse so others could ride with me, especially my best friend. The idea was that the second horse would be for the other person to ride while I rode Traveller. However in June my best friend (and excellent horsewoman) who was going to be my main riding companion moved away COMPLETELY out of the blue in June to Oklahoma.

- Reb only turned five in March. He came to me as being pretty much green broke; he is very easy to ride and handle on the ground for the most part.

- Although Reb came in December, I have NOT spent the time I know I've needed to with him due to A. a really terrible winter here and then B. my medication withdrawal this summer that kept me in bed. Reb is very gentle but he is also very tense when I am working with him away from Traveller. I go very slowly and calmly with him, and it's clear he is watching my every move. For example: If I am on him and stop to rearrange my reins, and one of the reins touches his shoulder, he tenses up like he is afraid I am going to hit him and give a little hop. This is probably because I haven't spent nearly enough time with him alone if I had to guess.

- Ever since he arrived in December, it has been very clear that he has herd bound issues. He used to whinny like there was no tomorrow and make sure other horses were around even when they obviously were, and he loves to march right up to other horses and get in their faces if he can.

Okay, so there's the background.

Today I went out with my twin sister who is an extremely timid rider (she recently sold her own horse because she's decided horse ownership isn't for her anymore). My sister did not ride but walked with us.

Started off in the round pen and let him get some energy out. It was pretty clear he was feeling rowdy from the beginning since he pulled a few "I'm going to stop and turn the other way even though I have not been asked to" moves (I didn't let him get away with it). Put his rope halter on and asked him to bend and flex from the ground, which he did, and I got him to disengage his hindquarters, turn on the forehand, etc. This was still down by the stable.

Mounted up and headed off for the pasture. From the time it was clear that I was taking him out and away from the stable/paddocks with the other horses, he was only barely listening to me at all. I could even see him looking around for other horses - when he did, I would call him attention back to me... but it would be a few seconds before he was looking around again. He would also try to slowly start turning around on me. So we did some fun circles and flexing until he realized that was harder than walking forward! That got him listening well enough to get us out to the pasture without incident.

We started up the rode. He started dancing like he did on our last ride and trying to turn home. He quit when I really got onto him; I had to pop him on the shoulder a few times (and he would get jumpy for a moment because he'd been whacked and was afraid to be smacked again but that was his problem) and I really kicked my heels into him and urged him forward with my body.

That did the trick. He headed off VERY well, and by the time we'd passed the highest part of the road, he seemed to have completely forgotten about his buddies. He did give quite a few very small spooks at random foliage AND the cattle I made him ride around but I wasn't concerned since he hasn't been exposed to cattle and this was a new area for him.

He did give one single loud whinny to see if any other horses were around when we reached the cattle and the gate into the property, but no one responded, and he didn't do it again. He actually felt comfortable to graze at this point and felt very relaxed.

I did not let him just go straight back down the road home. I would turn him around and make him walk back towards the gate, would stop him and back him up, would ride off in a completely different path than before, etc. because I wanted to make sure he wasn't going to stop listening to me. Of course he got that pep in his step anyway since he knew we were going back but he didn't try to take off running.

It was when we got back down the "hill" (it's not even really a hill but I don't know what else to call it) and into the same area he gave me trouble in earlier that he started acting up again. I kept making him stop at random and back up or turn the other way again and walk a bit back the direction we just came from to make sure he was listening.

His attention went back to the barn and other horses, and he stopped being well-behaved when I would ask him to stop and bend and flex or whatever etc. He became excited and popped him on the shoulder again to get his attention. This time he didn't just give a little hop when I smacked him - he took it much further and tried to use it as an excuse to attempt to whirl around and start running off for home. At one point he gave a small rear with me, which really ****** me off, but I always made him stop and back up when he pulled his shenanigans. He was not cooperative and it would take some circling to get him to stand still and actually wait for me to tell him to move forward.

By now, my sister (who had just been leisurely walking behind us the entire time - not close to us at all) had been watching all of this. She has always been an extremely timid rider - the kind who does not have patience with horses who act up and who would probably have started crying and dismounted the second he started dancing around if she'd been riding him - while I've been more confident and have been taught how to work with spooky/rude horse etc. with trainers when I was younger and all of that.

Anyway, my sister started talking about how she was worried about me getting hurt (of course she was telling me all of this while I was focusing on Reb) on this horse, that she felt I should have gotten an older horse, that she didn't understand how I wasn't freaking out, that I should find him a professional trainer etc. Mainly I didn't listen to her because I know we are extremely different riders but she did bring up a few points that started to make me think. (More on that.)

Got Reb through the gate and rode towards the other horses - we have to pass a small house on the property to go back, and the family living there were out and loading up their two cars with random stuff and making a lot of noise which didn't exactly help.

By now we could see Traveller from a ways away, and he was running around and neighing with glee to see Reb coming back. I stopped Reb again by the house; while stopped, he let out the deepest, ear-splitting, vibrating whinny I've ever heard in response to Traveller.

I admit that I felt vulnerable in that area with the cars and people, and I could tell Reb was REALLY getting riled. I hate the fact that I did this and didn't ride his butt all the way back but I decided to dismount (had my sister hold the horse) and walk him back on foot. I made sure he was watching me as we went - I would randomly stop dead in my tracks and make sure that when I stopped, he stopped. Had to get onto him when I first did it since he was looking at the other horses and not me, but after that he did keep his attention on me to his credit.

End of the ride. I felt fine. Not once was I worried I was in any danger while riding him - I just kept calm and did what I know to do when he was acting up.

... (cont'd)
 
#14 ·
About you getting exhausted on the ride with your Mom, I think you did the right thing by not continuing - your health wise. Who knows what could've happened if you tried working with your onery fellow. As for Reb, either he was just being herd bound or barn sour, or there was something there he knew was there and you didn't. xD

To the recent post, I think what you had in mind of doing to get him to pay attention was good. How does Reb do on backups? If he tries to gallop home then promptly turn him around and make him backup towards home a few steps. Just an idea to try out! :)

Good luck with him!
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#15 ·
My sister did bring up a few things that started to bother me once I'd finished with Reb and got in the car. I am one of those people who tends to start doubting herself AFTER the fact on certain things, and the more I've thought about it, the more confused and frustrated I've gotten.

My sister mentioned that she was afraid I would fall into a deep depression eventually (which is a possibility just because it's the nature of the illness), not go out and work consistently with Reb, that Reb would get wild due to age and inconsistency, and I would get hurt riding him when I did get better.

(Slightly off topic: What kept me from riding this summer was not actually a depressive episode. It was a horrible withdrawal from a medication. I've gotten 225% better in the past two weeks and actually feel more positive and energetic than I have in YEARS and I am planning to ride the boys consistently. So yeah.)

Now if that happened, I wouldn't be stupid enough to just jump on Reb and try to take off in the pasture. I'd work him on the ground and in the arena until I felt he was ready to ride out. In fact that's what I'm going to do with him next: we are going to reiterate respect from the ground, I am going to let him get to know me and trust me since I hadn't properly been able to until now, etc. And we will keep slowly working on his herd bound issue.

She did make me feel ashamed that I haven't been consistent before with Reb even though I couldn't help it because of things I couldn't control.

Also, she just made me doubt my own riding abilities with her "you should get a trainer for him" remark. I know when I need help. I've had problem horses before and know when I need someone else to step in or to stop playing "the hero" and move on if things are too extreme even with a trainer.

So I came home and now I'm frustrated with myself. I suddenly began to wonder if I shouldn't just have Traveller, if I made a mistake in getting Reb in the first place (for my friend to ride with me before she took off), all of this random stuff.

Just... gah. I know I shouldn't listen to her, but she's my twin sister. We are good at getting under each other's skin and influencing each other even if it isn't intentional. And other things will just take time to reveal what will happen like if I would rather just have Traveller by himself to ride.

I haven't given Reb a fair chance. And I like Reb. So I'm trying not to make any hasty decisions. Things just got trying today after the ride when I started to think too hard about what my sister was saying.
 
#16 ·
Thanks, Roman! :) I appreciate the comment! I felt so angry with myself when I just had to kinda give up on the ride with Mom!
Reb backs up well if asked (he tried to back up crookedly like a turd at points but then he gave up and straightened out) and I was making him turn back and retrace his steps the other directions when he got antsy, especially during the end stretch. LOL
Thank you for the well-wishes!!!
 
#17 ·
Here are some pictures my sister took. I'm starting to lose weight now that I am off of that awful medication that made me ravenous but I still cringe when I see myself. I really need to just get over that. Reb's saddle is still too small for me but my regular saddle is too big for him.

My sister attempted several videos but ended up filming the ground instead of me and Reb or else I would have tried to post them. :lol:

Mounting up after the round pen (I know, his back cinch was WAY too loose - I am slapping myself now for not noticing. Last thing I needed was to have him somehow get caught in that cinch while being jumpy.)


Me: *waving at the people who live on the property*
Reb: "WHY ARE WE WALKING AWAY FROM MY FRIENDS???"


Listen to me, Mr. Horse.


Yay! Happy pic! This was up at the end of the road when he had relaxed and was listening much better so he was getting some petting.


Sweaty horse!!
 
#18 ·
Talked to my best friend this morning over Facebook, and she gave me some very needed words of encouragement.

Need to ignore my sister. We are identical twins - we have a relationship in which we both tend to listen closely to each other and both of us often make the other feel anxious even if we don't mean to. And, yes, we can often read each other's minds in case anyone asks. :-p

I had a GREAT ride yesterday even dealing with "The Herd Bound Horse." Reb had legit reasons to have acted the way he did (his actions were not acceptable and I didn't let him get away with them, but I need to spend the time with him that I haven't been able to until now), and I look forward to working with him. I am also going to bring sweet feed or apple treats (his favorite) and feed him when he is away from the others as a special treat so *he* will start to enjoy being away from them and enjoy being out with me.

Plus I am SO EXCITED to say I am finally losing the antidepressant-related weight I've accumulated over the past five years (it's been about 70 pounds)! It's slow going but it is happening, and I feel so positive and energetic on the new vitamin my psychiatrist prescribed me! Haven't felt this great in years! :D
 
#19 ·
I just read this whole thread! You are an excellent writer:)

Just wanted to say that it made me sad to read the part about doubting yourself and possibly only should have 1 horse(Traveller). I think you sound more than capable and I believe while some horses take care of us, others challenge us and that's not a bad thing! I can't wait to hear how things go with you and Reb!
 
#20 ·
I can't get over what a beautiful horse Reb is. :) I only started reading on this page, so I'm a bit behind... I'll try to catch up!

I wonder if maybe getting a trainer wouldn't be such a bad idea? Maybe just someone to come out to your property and give you a lesson a week, or something--to boost your confidence and get some finesse to Reb. Just a suggestion (8

And HUGE congrats on the weight loss! That is such a fantastic accomplishment!
 
#21 ·
Thank you for the comments and encouragement! <3 <3 You guys make me smile and feel so much better! ;)

Zexious: Actually it's not a bad idea at all as I was thinking the same thing about working with someone once or a few times a week! I even lined up someone recommended by my sometimes-trainer (and BO) to hopefully meet with me on Thursday. :D
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#22 ·
I made MAJOR progress yesterday. I drove out by myself, messed with both horses, had a blast, drove home. Most of you might be thinking, "What's so special about that?" Well, for me it's a very big deal since I've been struggling hard this year with what I've realized is PTSD... and I actually think I've been fighting it for years (I would almost go as far to say that I am wondering if I was at least partially misdiagnosed with treatment-resistant depression when it's always been PTSD from a very messed up childhood. I will be talking to my new therapist about that).

Anyway, it's been beyond my capability to drive myself out there for a long while, but I am praying that I will be able to continue going alone and start getting back to the much better place I used to be in before things really went downhill about four or five years ago. :wink:

Enough of that though!

The owner of the facility I board at who is also my sometimes-trainer helped me figure out a fantastic way for me to start seeing my horses more often and working with them while keeping myself from feeling overwhelmed. She helped me set up three different "plans" for working with both horses.

Plan A: Work 45 minutes with each horse if my energy level is high.
Plan B: Work 30 minutes with each horse if my energy level is not so great.
Plan C: Work 15 minutes with each horse if my energy level is low.
*Work could mean riding, round penning, grooming, petting, anything. Most mostly riding and round penning for the majority of the time.

Also, Zexious - something really neat might be falling into place regarding a helping hand! Tonight my BO is interviewing a young woman about working with of her young horses; if she works out, we could definitely set up some refresher lessons so I can improve, and she could ride the boys a bit for me as well. It would be great to have her help me with Reb's barn sour behavior - knowing someone had my back while working with him would be wonderful. :D

Crude, I just looked at the clock and I have a hair coloring appointment in just a bit so I'll have to write about my day with Reb and Traveller and post some pics when I get back in a few hours. :-p
 
#23 ·
Apparently my hair coloring appointment turned into a two day ordeal in the wilderness without a computer. :-p

Here's the gist of what I did the other day. I groomed both horses, saddled up Traveller with the intention of riding him after I was finish with Reb, and left him to stand while I took Reb to the (crappy) round pen.

I know I need to work on desensitization with him. Reb is a nervous little horse. He doesn't freak out at every blade of grass and try to run away full speed from them or anything like that - he is one of those whose "suspicion button" seems to turn on right when I start doing things with him. I move *very* slowly and very calmly around him when we get started.

His favorite move is the "grunt and tense up with a possible side of hop" act when he isn't comfortable with something. I'm lucky there - he could do so much worse!! :lol:

Took my old lunge line, long whip, and my desensitization flag into the round pen before Reb as I thought I'd see how well he lunges if at all, but after letting him fool around for a moment in there I decided that I would rather just use the flag with him instead of going into lunge line just yet. I just used his rope halter and long lead.

Reb stopped running around when I asked for a "whoa" but he was watching me very carefully and had both of his ears back when he did. His face was not exactly a "I'm a perfectly happy camper" face. Which I figured. lol

I walked up to him very slowly and gently stroked his neck until he'd lowered his head a little before I put his halter back on him and picked up Mr. Flag.

Reb is familiar with Mr. Flag as Mr. Flag was very helpful in getting him to respect my space while leading him and to watch me and stop when I stop. However Mr. Flag had also spent most of the time collecting dust in the back of my car since December when we'd last encountered him.

I let him smell the flag, slowly rubbed it over his legs and body, and I was very proud to see that Reb did a great job accepting it. He was listening very closely but stood completely still - we had no attempts to move at all! He'd do his "tense up" act if he did have an issue but he didn't try to flee. :) YAY, REB!!

The wind was actually helpful instead of annoying - it was good about blowing the flag around (less work for me, ha!) when flapping and making noises. And so Mr. Flag went exploring and flapping all over Reb from different angles and directions, and my little guy did so well!

Between short flag sessions, I'd go up to Reb and loved on him by stroking his neck and mane. To see him lower his head and his eyes grow "dewy" and large was the best part of the day! He still doesn't know me just 100% well yet so loving on him is something I feel I need to do often so he can start learning to really trust me.

I need to start looking for a tarp but I will keep doing flag sessions for now.

It was almost noon by the time I'd finished with Reb. I spent more time with him than I had intended (trying to make time for both horses), and the heat was rapidly on the rise. Evil heat! So I didn't get to ride Traveller... but on the plus side standing still while saddled and then not being ridden is a good thing for him to remind him that the red car pulling up does not automatically mean "work." I gave him some treats and loving before I groomed and put both horses back in their pasture.

For me it was a very successful day. I am going to do my best to go out again today and see what the weather looks like - need to bathe both of them at some point soon.


Some pictures:

Traveller tried to teach Reb that it is fun to run away from Jenny and be a jerk to catch - it didn't work because Reb gave up pretty quickly. He likes to come greet humans so Traveller was on his own... until he realized Reb was getting treats and he wasn't. At that point he followed us back to the gate and let me catch him no problem. That horse.





Here's Reb bouncing around in the round pen when I first turned him loose.




"Do we really have to play with Mr. Flag? I wanted to leave now."



Reb's entire demeanor after the session improved beautifully! He was relaxed and not tensing up at unexpected movements by me etc.



"Treats??" (Traveller, you didn't even do anything! lol Oh well.)



And that was my horse time on Wednesday!!! :D
 
#25 ·
Hi guys! It looks like things are *finally* coming together to get both me and my guys off and working again. *knock on wood*

Ironically my BO/sometimes trainer had been talking with a young lady (who has just graduated from West Texas A&M in the great equestrian program there) about hiring her to train some of her younger horses in jumping since the BO doesn't have the time she used to have. Long story short, this girl is now living out on the BO's ranch and will be training BO's horses as well as horses for various other people.

We will call the trainer "A." I went out and met A in person today to discuss working with Traveller and Reb, and she was wonderful*! She was very excited that I have Tennessee Walkers since she had worked with Walkers and other gaited horses at another place around here last year and was going to miss riding them. (I was like, "Feel free to grab these two any time you want! They need to get back in shape!")

A has experience in just about every discipline you can think of - she's doing a lot of English work with the BO's horses but she has worked with reining horses, cutting horses, etc. as well. I will ask her tomorrow what discipline she has the most experience with or which one she enjoys the most because I am curious.

I talked with her while she helped me unload my tack from my car to my new trailer's tack area. Loved talking to her as she is a very laid-back, easy person to talk to, and she just has a very kind spirit about her.

We went and grabbed Traveller and Reb. I gave her some background information on both boys, especially Reb, and we decided to saddle up for a little bit because I wanted to see how she worked with Reb in particular.

Reb was being his usual self. A little bouncy, very much not wanting to go away from Traveller, and so on. A decided to lunge him a bit and see how he would act on the ground. I stood by with the camera and Traveller.


(Reb giving "A" the eye of uncertainty. "Who is this new person? What we doing? She going to hit me with that stick?")


("OH MY GOD, SHE IS GOING TO EAT ME!" *flounce*)


("Save me, Jenny!!!!!!" Reb kept drifting towards me and his buddy at first...)


("Hmmm. This person is interesting. Still not entirely impressed or going to stop bouncing around like an idiot just yet but she isn't hitting me.")


("A" was so soft and gentle with her hands. It didn't take Reb long to settle down and start really listening to her.)


(Way to photo bomb, Traveller!)


("Okay, maybe she won't eat me after all.")


(Oh, Traveller. You, my cute friend, are neeext!)


(She's got him working on a loose line, listening to every small movement she makes, and he is happy about it! Yay, Reb!)


("Are we done now for real?" Not quite yet, Reb, but great job doing your ground work with "A"!)

Afterwards we rode in the arena; I REALLY wish I had taken pictures of her on Reb because she had him bending and flexing like a champ! I got Traveller into his gaits and made him do a little work but mainly we watched A on Reb. She has such soft hands, and little Reb was acting wonderfully!

Traveller was giving me a little attitude since he hadn't been ridden for a while and was trying to sneak off to get as close to Reb as possible so I got a nice workout, especially with moving him away from Reb using some heavy leg pressure. Traveller will be working with A also so get ready, Mister!!

A said she was very impressed by Reb. She noted that he was very well trained in some areas and not trained at all in others (we talked about gaited horses in general and the lack of training in a lot of them) - I will be speaking with her in depth about that tomorrow.

The plan is that both Reb and Traveller will be working with A several days a week. I want to be involved as much as possible because it's been a long time since I've worked with a trainer and I love to learn or relearn things. Plus A can help me improve on my riding as well!

I am so excited! After the summer I had, I've been so down and out... my horses are my therapy, and I am thrilled to have help from A!
 
#26 ·
A has been working with the boys - I have been with her most of the time except for the last two sessions.

We did basic groundwork the last time I was there. I took Traveller, and she took Reb, and we took them in their rope halters to the arena with our flags.

A asked me if I would be insulted or otherwise bothered if she acted as though I had never done groundwork before just so we would always be on the same page. I said I didn't mind at all - and I really don't. I know A knows all sorts of tricks and tips that I had never been taught or else had forgotten and I want to learn all I can from her.

On the ground, we just worked to get the horses to soften their heads and get them to react to a very soft feel on the lines.

Traveller did very well (I suspect that the fact I had worked with him on this before had something to do with it - he was a complete disaster for a while back then but did get the hang of it). It was also nice to work with him and have some "Traveller Time" because before A came, I was mostly working with Reb.

Reb... well, Mr. Reb was the harder one to work with because he's simply a younger horse who was never taught basic ground rules (sadly typical of a lot of gaited horses). Plus I hadn't been able to give him the time he deserved since I got him last December for various reasons.

A did get him to be very soft and giving by the end of it, but Reb was very dramatic in the beginning.

It was a ton of fun to watch her work with him though. lol

Yesterday A rode both of them and said that Reb had "drastically improved and gave her a wonderful running walk" (he gets pacey when he is upset or confused), and that both horses were MUCH softer already.

I'm going out at 10 tomorrow morning and can't wait! I am really trying to be as involved as I can with A so I can learn as much as I can and get hands on experience in training my guys. So grateful for A - she is giving them the consistency I haven't been able to give since the medicine change and subsequent family drama. And she is also getting *me* to be consistent about my horses again too. :)

I am on my phone or else I would post some pics. I have more to say but I will post again later about it.
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