Oh man. Ohhh man.
So...yeah. Big change.
I went to my barn and my instructor was like "I thought you died!" and told me to ride Lucky. We did our normal warm up then practiced 20 meter circles and jumping in the circles if that makes sense. Lucky was being very hot.
I asked if I could canter on my side of the arena.
My instructor said yes and then after a lap she told me to wait until the other girl was done. Okay no big deal. And then she told me it was okay to start. I thought I was supposed to cut the arena in half since the other riders were to the left of the middle. I started to canter and the people were sitll in my way when I came over and I had to weave Lucky in order not to run them over. One of my instructor's girlfriends yelled "Jesus!". Then she told I came around on the other side and the people were standing right on the rail for some reason. Lucky was not wanting to slow down and it was difficult for me to work on my horse AND watch out for these idiots.
Then one of the newer riders got to canter for the first time. EVERYONE was praising her insistently. I was upset but I figured I was overreacting so I tried really hard not to show it. We cooled off by riding bareback and I took Lucky back into the barn. My Dad interfered and she ended up going into her stall with her bridle still on. I went in and took it off and walked slooowly to the tack room, taking deeep breaths. Then we were in the car and my Dad asked how my lesson went. I just kind of stayed quiet because I didn't think I could talk about it without becoming really upset. And then my Dad asked again, and I started crying. I told him I messed up really bad cantering and about the much newer rider doing so much better than me and how it had upset me. (Now normally a rider doing better than me wouldn't bother me in the least, but with my messing up and stuff...yeah
). I also forgot to mention that when I first started to canter she told me I was on the wrong lead...she never even taught me my canter leads or how to get them. The people she had in the arena with her was at least four, maybe five in a SMALL indoor arena.
My Dad started talking to me about how I had done well when he was watching and how he didn't really like how my instuctor acted. He pointed out to me how she was always on her phone or talking to her friends in the arena. How she never really TOLD us how to do something and didn't teach us in a way that made sense. He said that if she was messing around and one of us got hurt the barn could be held responsible because of her. We had a heart to heart and he said that if I really wanted to become a GOOD rider it was time to move to a more proffesional barn. There's a "show" barn much closer to me that I was reluctant to go to because I thought it would make me spoiled.
When I got home I was still thinking about my decision. I talked to both of my cousins (they rode at my barn before) and they told me how they had never liked my barn but didn't want to tell me because I had liked it so much. That told me that I really needed to move on.
I learned a bunch at my horse camps, learned the very basics in a muddy backyard, learned the start of jumping and cantering at Spruce Meadow (where I've been riding up to now) and now I think it's time to move on.
I will be able to go to actual as well as fun shows at the new place. They have a heated viewing area which my father will love and a heated BATHROOM. (Spruce Meadow doesn't even have a bathroom). They might even have a heated indoor. I know for a fact they have at least an indoor. They probably have better lesson horses and instructors but we'll see. I'm taking my first lesson which will be on the ground this week and my first lesson riding next week (I think). I'll tell you guys how that goes.
I feel so stupid for being so blind. But at least I'm moving on now.