My equestrian career has just been a bad experience the past year or so. It all started last show season when Jester started having problems....We took a big fall at a big show and it cost us the run that we couldn't afford to lose. I asked for the flying lead change, and he fell almost on top of me. Since then I've been recovering from a fear....confidence issues, and I feel really responsible for it. I felt that he was off when I was warming up, btu I thought it was just his little bit of arthritis. I already expected this to be his last show season, so I thought if I just gave him the paste and took it easy he could manage the last run and be retired as a trail horse or I could board him at my trainers for lessons. He'd be really good at that.
But since the fall I've been ahving such a hard time regaining my confidence. Skills I once had perfected are now just.....Gone. And I don't know where they went. I find myself doubting my own advice and doubting my skills as a whole. We went through almost six new horses this year. Six of them. Sally, Shantee, Emily, Honey, Taran, and Pretzel. All of them looked liek they would be amazing competition horses....but int he end they all were freaks, spooked, had a bad temper or were just downright nasty. Shantee turned out to not even be broke. We got her and Sally as a package deal because Shantee was lame in the shoulder. They swore that if she wasn't broke they would pay us for feed and board....butt hen they just dropped off the face of the planet afterward. I suppose I should have seen it coming.
And to top it all off, we only had two babies this year. The colts are the few pleasures that make me want to get up in the morning. I never realized how much we relied on them until I didn't have them there anymore. It's weird.....Every time a mare is ready to drop I park my Toyota 4-Runner outside our little barn and camp out there, and I get up every hour to go and check the mares.
I suppose I am a little dramatic, but I find dramatic entrances an...interesting way to kick off a Journal. Hopefully tomorrow I will have something fun to say, since you're all caught up now.
'Til tomorrow, Journal