You see, I've had Dozer for 3 years, maybe a little longer, but he was never my go-to horse. I always had Bart. My brave little 12.2hh pony that I trusted with my life. He was my grouchy old man and mine alone. Unfortunately, after 9 years of owning my little Bart man, he got really sick and we tried to fix it but couldn't. We lost him four weeks ago tomorrow. It's still really hard for me.
Anyways, since he has passed, I've had to count on Dozer to be my new bonbproof, go-to horse. And he just hasn't been doing what I want him to do. He's not being Bart. In all honesty, if I could trade Dozer for Bart, I would in a heartbeat. There's no doubting that. But I can't. So I figured I would just make Doz into the same horse Bart was. Easier said than done, I guess.
He is pretty good in the arena in my backyard. He mostly sticks to the fence during walk and trot (he always shortens the circumference when we try and canter) and he listens fairly well. If he doesn't listen, I make him. That's easy in our arena.
However, taking him out of the arena is always a toss up. Since I don't have Bart, he has to go places alone. Which, last week he did fairly well. Only two spooks the whole three hour ride. But today I took him out early to go meet a new riding buddy and he was completely horrible. He spooked at EVERYTHING and he is not the type of horse to do that. I have seriously never seen him be that bad, but he was. After spooking countless times, we finally got to the hill that the lady was waiting for us at the bottom. I figured I'd walk him down, just because he was being bad and one of his bad habits used to be running and crow hopping down hills, so I started walking him. He spun and ran toward the drop off part of the hill at least four times. Why? Because a dog was barking and because a kid was swinging on a swing. We had JUST walked right past them problem free.
I broke down. I felt like he was going to end up killing himself or hurting himself or something. I called my dad and we got picked up.
Today is the first day I have EVER thought about selling him and I know I don't really want to, I really do like him. But I just don't know if I can deal with him anymore if he is never going to calm down.
Well, I really needed to get all that emotional barf out of my system. It probably doesn't make sense but I think it cleared up some of my thoughts. I think I'll take him out again, just later on. I need to cool off and calm down. Then hopefully he can be a little angel and make me like him again.