I can't remember how long you have had her but sometimes it takes a little bit for your confidence to build. And for her trust to be in you. The more time you spend with her, the more you rub her all over the better.
Only had her a few weeks, my first horse as well. I am trying to spend time with her everyday, but sometimes it is every second day.
I agree with Frog as too the closer you are the better off you are at not getting kicked. I used to be just like you so I know exactly what you are feeling. If your not comfortable with walking around her behind, then don't do it yet.
Become more familiar with her. Keep up all the rubbing on both sides. Brushing her butt down to her feet. Sometimes, with my filly I will make her enjoy it by scratching gently up and down her legs.
She absolutely loves when I do that and gets super relaxed. That has helped me to feel safe and confident with a baby that has the potential to kick out of play or frustration. She never has and I don't think she ever will. She trusts when I'm there or behind her that I'm not a threat or something she wants to get rid of.
I notice when I am brushing or rubbing the top of her back legs, that the big muscle there (kind of the side at the top) is super relaxed, it wobbles like jelly! Is that a good sign she is relaxed and not winding up for a big boot?
To simply answer your question -- Of course she will kick you. She is working up to it since you did nothing to let her know that the behavior was not allowed in your herd. When you gave her a 'pass' on her unacceptable behavior, it emboldened her and in effect, told her that she is above you in the pecking order. When she 'cow-kicked' at your daughter, she should have been punished because now she knows that the behavior is ok.
So what should I do? I don't want to smack or hit her at all. I thought the natural horsemanship program is a way to eliminate physical discipline?
When we interact with a horse, particularly a new horse, that herd of 2 (the new horse and its handler) needs a dominant member and a submissive one. There are never 'equals'. Your mare is trying out for the spot of 'lead horse' in your herd of two. Right now, she is above you on that pecking order. When I interact with any horse or group of horses, I want to be the 'head pecker' (pun intended). I want to be the undisputed lead horse that they all respect and don't mess with. I want to be able to walk out through a group of 8 or 10 horses with a 5 gallon bucket of feed and I want them to stay a respectful distance and wait for me to pour feed into tubs scattered in a big circle. THAT is how it is at my house. This has not happened by accident. It means that I have effectively interacted with each and every horse so that each one knows I am waaaaay above them in the pecking order. I do not want them afraid of me because a fearful horse is more dangerous than a pushy one. I want their respect and attention 100% of the time.
This is what I would like to achieve too. Being in charge, in control.
Yours is in the process of taking over your relationship with her. She is becoming the boss and you the fearful submissive herd member that is way down the pecking order.
Yes well this is not what I want to achieve, which is why I am here and really appreciate all the feedback.
I hope this puts it all in perspective. Novice horse owners have a tendency to take it personal. I hear questions like "Why did she want to hurt me?" or "I have only been nice to her. I just can't understand why she would do this to me?"
I don't think like that at all. I don't personalise her behaviour. I understand she is driven by instinct and intelligence.
I will try to get back to my computer tomorrow and lay out a plan of action that will work for a novice owner.
Fabulous thank you!!!
In any case , if that happens again, you must immediately react. If you are really close, whack her as close to where she kicked as possible, and don't mince words; make an impression!
Or, take the lead rope and immediately mover her around you in a circle briskly and with authority. She needs to have YOU immediately put her back down in the place below you where she started out.
I don't like the idea of hitting her at all. I am not comfortable with hitting anything. My kids rarely get smacked. Can I put my horse into timeout instead?? Ha ha... I really like your other suggestion of a brisk circle. I guess I can use that for anything? Or just if she kicks or bites? She hasn't kicked again or bitten at all.
On the other hand, most horses don't kick without some kind of warning. That's why when I am handling my horse I try to keep his face in my peripheral vision as much as possible. As a hroseman/woman you will learn to have visual and sensory feelers out around you at all times.
Great advice, I will remember this at all times.
OK -- Now I am confused.
Where does someone that does not have a clue, suddenly get 'confidence'? Do they order it from Dover or some other E-store?
Maybe I will try Ebay.
Confidence comes from competence. Competence comes from experience and knowledge.
Yes which is why I am here asking questions.
This is exactly why I tell a lot of people to go out and find a 'mentor' or befriend a competent, respected horseman in their area. You will learn more from osmosis than you can learn from DVDs or books that give you no feedback.
Will definitely do this.
I'm a big believer in her dynamics and use that to my advantage. Watch eyes, ears, swish of a tail... All tells you how the horse is feeling and warning signs of things to come! And I agree with others on NOT letting her get away with any rude behavior with a swift consequence!
What sort of consequence would you use?
Originally Posted by eventerwannabe View Post
I am going to get yelled at for this one, as I know I am going to be a bit out of line....
I think Parelli can be a wonderful tool, but I wouldn't listen to every little thing they tell you to do.
But I still prefer Monty Roberts. Now THAT man is amazing. If you don't know who he is, google him. He is the one who created Join Up, one of my favorite NH tools.
I guess it is easier for me, a complete novice, to choose one thing to start with, otherwise it is so confusing. Like kids, there are so many different ways to raising them. I like what I read about Parelli stuff, it appeals to what I want to achieve with a horse. And I guess they have packaged and mareketed it in a user friendly way.
I have seen Monty and the Join Up video's on You Tube. AMAZING. I plan on building a round pen for working in and doing stuff like that. AMAZING!!